The Only Way To Inspire Change in Your Friends And Family

Hey everyone, welcome back to you on purpose. Thank you so much for being here. By the way. I just wanted to let you know we are at 9800 reviews on the podcast. It would mean so much to me if we can get to 10,000 by the end of this week. It would be amazing because I love reading them. I love engaging with them. I love seeing the incredible meaningful lessons and nuggets of wisdom that you're all gaining from these episodes and when you leave a review, it means so much to me, but it means so much to new listeners and we are connecting with new.

Listeners every single week. Like I know that there are new people downloading the podcast from different countries every single week and I just want to say a huge thank you to each and every one of you that has subscribed if you haven't make sure you do and I want to say thank you to each of you that has left a review. If you haven't it would mean the world to me. If you take 2 minutes actually would take 20 seconds to just leave a review it would be amazing. Now today's episode is another behind the scenes and I'm excited for this because I know you've been loving this.

Is almost Windows into my life qas with people real people at events and often asking the questions that you really want and that's what I love about people asking questions at events. Because when you ask a question, you don't just help yourself you help another hundred thousand million people because there are another hundred thousand million people thinking the exact same thing as you so anyone who asks a question. I'm so grateful to each and every one of you and today's episode is a behind the

Scenes from her event that I did at Mindvalley and many of you know, I'm friends with vision lucky. Oniy who's the CEO and founder of Mindvalley a really good friend a really cool guy and his team are awesome abs he loved Miriam and a guitar and kadhi that they're unbelievable and I was invited to speak at this event in La where they had a Q&A with their audience and we just literally took questions from everyone. The questions were amazing. There were questions about family and you know being in relationships with someone isn't spiritual someone

Isn't about personal growth and how you deal with that. There were questions about how we can go deep in our own practices and habits. They were questions about my personal life and things that I love and I'm fascinated by so I can't wait for you to hear this podcast.

Here we go.

Alrighty, so Jay Shetty has you know out of some 200 speakers last year in Mindvalley was awarded based on audience data as the best speaker at Mindvalley across all seminars all festivals all events for the entire year 2018. But what is also really wonderful to say about Jay is that in today's world and this is something that lights me up in today's world the number one personality on Facebook.

Is not a Kardashian or a politician it is Jay Shetty among.

A monk from a monk who makes wisdom go viral Jay share these videos have been viewed 4 billion times 4 billion times, right? But and this is since he started in in 2016 January 2016, but here's the crazy thing.

Three billion of that 4 billion happen in just the last 12 months, and he his growth is exponential and growing and he perhaps more than almost anyone else. I personally know is helping create a world where wisdom becomes viral and something that you really want to consume Jake welcome to Mindvalley. Again. Thank you for sharing. Thank you so much.

Thank you to all of you. I'm so grateful. Thank you.

I'm so grateful in touch to be here. Thank you for the opportunity vision and thank you to all of you for being here as well. Thank you for being here when you could be anywhere in the world you chose to be sitting on that seat.

So let's start with the opening question. Jay Cooke you learn so much and you just got back from meditating in India in an ashram, you know, you're constantly evolving yourself. What would be some words of advice? You would give to the people in this room.

That's a big question.

So I take out 21 to 30 days every year to go and live back with the monks where I used to live in India. So I lived as a monk for three years and every day. I made it a priority to continue my meditation practice, which is currently two hours a day. It's been that way for the last 13 years. It's been the Bedrock and foundation on my life. So to that very big question their Vision. Honestly, my first piece of advice would be finding your daily rituals finding your daily habits finding your

Practices that act as the foundation because we're living in such a busy hectic crazy times how many of you know that you have a schedule and still half the things don't happen on that schedule right anyone ever been in that position or how many of you go through that process where you start wanting something really educational on YouTube and then two videos later you're watching something about Justin Bieber's mom. Right and it's like and then and then you like how did I get out of there get there? Like how did how did that happen and and you end up?

Up getting lost in this world. And so whether it's in a small way of getting lost through the content, you know, Rabbit Hole or whether it's getting lost by getting distracted from what's really meaningful to you for me refining my intentions on a daily. Basis is one of my favorite favorite habits. And so what I do every day is our look at the plethora of options that I have available all of the things whether it's deals ideas thoughts projects offers, whatever it is.

And on top of all of them are right down why I would do that.

And if the reason is often ego Pride Envy competition jealousy and sometimes it's compassion Lovejoy passion purpose meaning fulfillment.

And so what I like to do is I like to refine my intentions which I classes seeds and weeds every day. So I want to plant more seeds in the garden. My life seeds are things that are like compassion love purpose fulfillment. Meaning Joy service and weeds are when we do things out of ego Envy competition. And so every day I'm plucking out the weeds out of my life. I'm trying to plant more seeds how many of you want to be gardeners with me?

And I do that every day because it's so easy for me to confuse the weeds as seeds.

It's so often that I've let ego grow. So strong inside of me and took me forever to notice that was a weed. So I have to do every day. So that's one of my biggest piece of advice. I do every single day. It's made a huge difference in making sure I make the right choices the right decisions with people places and projects that I'm involved in when you were find the intention and it gets purer and purer and purer and other wherever fully pure but it gets purer and purer and purer. You just see magic happen around you so many things will open up things that you never imagined. So you know that

Your question, but it does in and out just opens up. So many other questions said you get you try to get your intention purer and purer and it sounds to me like what you're saying is you're going for the feeling that it's giving you Joy Bliss passion, right? How far ahead are you looking are you looking at your intentions for a day for a week for a month for a year?

I look at intentions from places that I go people that I spend time with and projects that I'm involved in. So in every one of

Those areas and that includes everything from what I'm doing right now by being here. So I'm with all of you. So I planted a seed of an intention that I wanted to come here to be of service to all of you all the way through to what do I want to be doing in 12 months. I usually don't make plans for longer than 12 months because the world changes so fast and everything else. So that's usually as far ahead I think of but you know my vision do you

ever get intentions like binge watch Game of Thrones 24 hours straight and then judge yourself for having that intention.

So I was

Woman that I was coaching yesterday and they said to me says Jay be real with me, right? You know, everyone always likes us. I be real with me. Like don't give me the munch on say, you know, it's only my sister always says we don't go munch on me. Jay said it like, you know, I don't want to hear another video. My my want my wife and my sister do that often to me. So someone asked me yesterday like be real with me. Like what do you do when you just want to you know, let go. So the honest answer is I grew up in London. I'm a huge soccer fan or real football

and and

Yes, finally, someone says it on our stage. I've never understood you Americans. It's not

I absolutely loved football. And my favorite thing to do is play Playstation with my buddies and play FIFA. I can do that for hours and hours and hours and I'm pretty good too. So if anyone wants to play me a game of FIFA moves up, but that's yeah, I do I do get that and that's probably one of the there's two things I love in that sort of in that category. It's playing closer some playing FIFA.

Second is movies. I'm a huge fan of movies. I'm a huge fan of Christopher Nolan specifically because of the stories that he writes in the movies he brings to life. So I love movies that helped me learn and have messages inside them because I believe that movies have the power to shift culture and shift conversation. So I'm fascinated by the power of media and movies. So I love consuming that content because it gives me more ideas and inspiration and I truly believe that we are defined by the stories. We tell ourselves. So when we see new store,

Tory's through movies and media. I see changes in culture happening fee for I can't justify some of that is just after that. I just have to

take so we want to keep the questions spiritual and deep but also real yeah, I like I like you just insulted American Center in the football is football.

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You say you spend 28 days of the year in an ashram in India? Yes. Okay, and you're like one of the most like you're becoming one of the most famous teachers on the planet.

What do you do with that? Ashram? Do you check Facebook or Instagram while you're

there? Good question. So I read an incredible study that changed the way I create and think and it said that the human mind can't be logical and creative at the same time. How many of you have ever walked from a highly creative brainstorm where you were filled with passion and then had to talk about numbers and business and right. It's tough right anyone ever found that quite difficult. It's quite challenging.

Bring in the mines like trying to run from one side of the brain for the other side of the brain. So what I do is I create in depth. So I got really deep into my creation and then I got really deep into everything else that I have to do. So before I went to India, I created my content in advance. And so when I was in India, I was able to really switch off. So the beauty of being able to be in India for 21 or 30 days or wherever I am in the world for that matter and then not having to think of creativity as stress or pressure on able to do creativity as a form of passion and service.

So and so when I was in India, I was able to not look at Instagram. I was able to not look at face work. I was able to completely switch off for 21 days. When I was there earlier in January and I started my year in the way I wanted to so I was meditating for 8 hours a day or spending time with my teachers who are mind-blowing and incredible and trying to learn from them and taking knowledge and wisdom from them and continuously praying to be of more service this year and make a difference this year. So that's how I chose to spend my genuine. I had so many people saying to me they were just like Jay, it's January things are going well in your career.

How can you take 21 days off right that pressure that noise like things are going good for you? How can you take time off? How's that things are going good because I'm doing this right like, you know, I had one of my teachers that is kept saying to me for years he goes if you want to move 3 steps forward you have to go three steps deep. And so if I'm not going forward, I know it's because I haven't gone deep. So for me, that's a big priority for me and that's what I try and do and I'm I try to do that every day, but I also believe in immersive experiences, so

A lot of us today, we live in this world, which is like 10 minutes a day do it for 10 minutes a day. Everything will be great. And that is great. There's nothing wrong with that. But imagine you spent with a boy or a girl your partner whoever it was something that you just started dating imagine. You spent 10 minutes a day with them. How long would it take you to figure out whether you wanted to fall in love with him or not?

Probably a long

time. And so when you go immersive if you spend a weekend away with someone, you know, whether you like them or not and meditation mindfulness. All these habits are the same the more you immerse yourself the more you get an experience that stays with you the more that you can live with that experience and keep going back to it for 10 minutes a day. So I really believe in immersive experiences. I love the 10 minutes a day advice, but I also deeply believe in having and deep immersive.

Absorbed experience that completely takes over your whole body mind and soul and then you have to carry that forever. So I try and do that once a year

that's amazing. Beautifully said Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.

So so you're a monk. I used to be I'm married now. Okay, but you still go back to multitude or whatever they call it. Yeah one school. Yeah, so you're writing titude like monk refresher course.

So the monks, you know, very good at branding is even

so when you're there hanging out with these other monks do they like asked you to teach them how to do Instagram or like like what how do other monks relate to you when you go back to the Usher?

One of the things I love to be with the monks again is that they don't care like they have no idea ende. They have no desire. They don't want to learn anything about what I'm up to and I love that because I get to switch off from that identity to and it's beautiful to be able to let go of every identity that you've taken on and then just be and so when I go there and I were able to remove

any identity that is attached to my ego any identity that's attached to who I think I've become Etc. It's it's nice to be humbled again. It's nice to be it's nice to be not noticed for a particular thing, but be dealt with in a human way in a completely human connection. So yeah. No, they don't they don't care about

Instagram. So it's amazing. Now, I notice you have a tattoo on your neck I do and I noticed that there's even a Facebook group called. What is Jay shetty's tattoo. I'm serious. There's a Facebook group dedicated to his cell.

That's how big this guy is getting soon. They'll be Facebook groups for your ankles your left thumb. It's gonna get weird JD with Fame. But what the hell is that

tattoos? So it can we play and I'm gonna I'll tell the story about it. I got my first tattoo when I was 16 years old and I never asked my parents for permission. I went and got it came home. I was bleeding slightly and it happened to be on the same day. We had family visiting from India and for anyone who knows anything about Indian families, like respect to lie.

Like elders and families. It's important. There's a good values but I walk in with my neck like half bleeding and others tattoo of my family. My mom is just like like, you know, she's completely shocked and my dad's like cover it up cover it out like trying to get me a college shirt. Anyway, so I used to be a huge fan of spoken word and rap music going up growing up. I've always loved language and words and so I was a huge fan of hip-hop and spoken word. So I have a fist holding a microphone on my neck because it used to be the logo

The Source magazine in the 1990s, which is one of the biggest hip-hop magazines of its time and I remember getting it done at 16 and a lot of people like what's that on your neck and add some microphone and they'd be like, oh cool. What are you doing? I'd say I do spoken word and rap and they said oh you should perform at our club. So it was my card. It was my business card. It was my Brandy and and then I got my next tattoo 18. So I have on the back of my neck. I have dear God in calligraphy and then I have one here which is a Which is less seen and I don't think there's a Facebook group about it, but it's say

Say it's a treble clef going to peacock feather. I've always loved the music having spirituality to an peacocks a beautiful beautiful animals that I got to see a lot and observe a lot when I was in India, so that was inspired by that. So those are my three tattoos no more. No, none of those hidden away.

So we know I've never been asked about that

stage. You're like how useful is this information to anyone? Are we a Mindvalley or we are tattoo parlor, I mean

Yeah, no, but you know what? It's so nice to get to to also learn about the real you there's so much wisdom from Jay out there. We wanted to bring in some of your illness because I know you as a friend and you're like just epically cool. So we'd love to take some questions from the audience. Okay. Now here are the rules when we do panels like this. I try to make sure that the question that is asked is a question that is going to serve at least 70% of the people in the room. Okay. So we have a question for Jay raise your hand.

And we have mic Runners ready. Let's start with Shaman durak. So, you know, one of the things that I wanted to ask because I want to get your viewpoint on it because in Shamanism we have this Viewpoint that spirituality is not separate from life. It's it means as someone whose spiritual even if they don't meditate or work with crystals are doing these things. It means they're willing to evolve. I want to know what your thought is about

that. Yeah. I completely agree. I think that's beautiful and completely lines with me. I don't think see we look at everything.

What can I learn and actually a half of learning in my opinion is really unlearning. Everyone already has the answer inside of them. You're not really learning anything new. You just want to get rid of all the bad lessons you learned and everyone has that so it's not so much about like, who is this person going from here to here? It's not really that it's like if someone going from here to here and for me one of the ways, I've always thought about is you can't take the world further than where you visited internally. So for me every

person that were meeting already has that Journey right there and all you're asking them to do is look inwards as opposed to outwards. So no I completely agree with you and I think that's a beautiful point that you've shared and I think it's something nice for us to know so we don't judge and label people. We don't walk around think all those are spiritual people. Those are not spiritual people because yeah, we're all were all spiritual people and it's just that some are covered. It's like the sun's always out but often it's covered with the clouds rarely hear a bit more.

Lately, but some it's the sun is always out. It's just get covered by the clouds and that's us we've just been covered and we get covered by those clouds and they Cloud our identity they Cloud our perception and so all we're doing for ourselves and others is clearing out the clouds and the more we do that for ourselves the more we can do it for others and the more we do it for others and we do it for

ourselves and is meditation the only process that you use to clear out the clouds or is there other things that

you explore I think meditation today is is a tool.

And and it's a great tool in your tool kit, but it's really about how we're processing the whole time how we're living at the whole time outside of that. And so when I do 2 hours of meditation a day that my teachers would always say to me or what are you doing for? The other 22 hours, you're awake, right? That would always be the question. And so I read a study recently that said that men and women were asked either to sit alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes or if they didn't want to do that. They could give themselves an electric

Is it true study 60% of men chosen electric shock

true story and 30%

of women chosen electric shock. These are real normal people.

And when they were asked why they did that they just said I don't think I can sit what am I going to do for 15 minutes? And so for me meditation is an important part of the cloud but it's also reflection introspection journaling the ability to have a connection that's deeper than you sitting down with people who can help you move the clouds because it's not always you on your own you need others to come in and help you do that. So it's multiple things. It's multiple things. I think meditations are a key facet of it, but not the not the be all and end all of it.

So we noticed that you speak a lot about relationships a lot.

Propulsion a few videos on relationships and I'm just going to be asked this question, but you did have training as a monk and normally when monks give advice on relationship. It's simply two words. Don't screw. Why where does that interest in relationships come

from my Fascination comes from for relationships from having failed a lot of relationships. So growing up. I had countless relationships that didn't work out and I was always trying to learn like what is love me.

I mean, what is love what is the ideal relationship? Why didn't that work out with that person etcetera. So I was constantly reflecting and then I became a monk obviously. I was celibate for three years and didn't have any relationships during that time and at that time a lot of people come and complain to me about their relationships. It's really funny when people do that. It's like you're not married you will know what to do with my life like that doesn't like that way so and I was always fascinated by that was I was getting are so many questions about relationships and I was like, well, I don't have any real life experience of figuring it.

Well, so when I left and when I met my wife, and now that we've been together for six years and married for three years, I was always reflecting on why things do work with us and and the parts that we are challenged by and so for me, it's been a personal journey of growth. And so the videos I've made have been from personal lessons. I've learned from helping others coaching others and working on my own relationship. And that's the trifecta round. All my videos is I listen to someone who shares a challenge with me. So if you ever share a challenge with me you have to be

Okay with the fact you may end up as a story in one of my videos. I'm just throwing it out there. The second thing I try and find is I try and find a scientific study to verify what I'm about to say as a solution and the third thing that I do is I try and find a piece of wisdom that's thousands of years old that also aligns with that. So for me, that's what I'm always looking for. And that's how I create my content because that way I can verify it through modern science. It's it's Timeless wisdom that's been true for thousands of years. And at the same time it's based on a real challenge that we're

Going through that's amazing. That's amazing. I love how you just broke that down.

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Let's take an art a question from the audience if you have a question,

so I have have these burning question. Yes. How do you relate how have you related to deep spiritual learnings? And at the same time being happy and content in the material world without going crazy

interesting

I think that's this point of spiritual training. So it's like when we when we are immature and our spiritual learning we're just starting out when you first learn the first everyone remember the first time they learned something and I'm like, I'm never talking to my family ever again, right because you because you learned a little bit and you go. Oh my god. I've been doing it all wrong. And now I can't talk to that person that can't ever go to that event again. And you start making all these big decisions based on something small that you've learned.

And so I think in the beginning of our Lives because to a protect ourselves, which is a very normal desire and very good and very human. We think okay. I need to take care of this. So now I'm going to shut out from all of this. But as we grow we realized we can give more back and so one of the ways I've always thought about it is if you look at the ocean and you see someone drowning you want to help them.

But if you go in too soon, and you're not strong enough, it's likely that you're going to get pulled in.

And at that point it's easier to shout out to a lifeguard who can come along who's trained who's discipline who's committed who can go and make a difference and so for me in my life, I'm always looking at if I can't bring someone up I'm not going to spend time with them if they're going to pull me down and it's drawing that line for me. So if I've been ever scared about my spiritual rather than putting them down and going I'm not spending time with them because I'm pulling them down if I can't lift them up. Then I'm going to protect myself by not being dragged down, but if I can pull them up.

Can't lift them up. Then that's when I'm able to go into that space and make an impact to make a difference and that line is really helped me not go crazy because I know I'm not doing it based on a judgment of them. I'm reflecting on my own abilities and floors and and the difference I can make and I'm taking a taking a stance. It's like someone asked me the other day. What is a complaint and we were talking about litter a complaint is you see a piece of trash on the floor and you got our La so dirty you've removed the agency that you can have an impact on that.

That a statement is Odell is a bit dirty distractions. So I'm going to pick that up and throw it away right taking that responsibility. So when we irresponsible in our spiritual lives, we judge everyone and judge everything and we mature we start looking at through compassion empathy and connection and recognize. We were just there a few years ago. And that's the biggest anchor in my life is recognizing that I was addicted to and still am in different ways things that I don't believe a good for me spiritually.

I was that I was that guy I was that kid, you know, he's taken a journey and someone had to believe in me. Someone had to invest in me. Someone had to reach their hand without being forced in and pulled me out and that allows me to continue to operate in the world. I hope that answers your

question. Thank you. Thanks. So J when I saw you speak at wisdom 2.0 last weekend you got on stage and you quoted Martin Luther King. It was a quote on Justice love and a big team of this event has been MLK.

His vision for Justice at the application of power to remove all obstacles of love. We just had Marianne Williamson take the stage here and talk about the importance of standing up of activism. What are your views on this?

So I want to approach it from a from a slightly different angle as well.

How many of you spend a lot of your days multitasking?

Okay good. So a lot of us spend our time multitasking now studies show that only 2% of us actually able to multitask and when most people hear that they're like, yeah. I'm in that two percent. That's me. Right. I mean that 2% you're probably not I'm not because it's only two percent of the global population of the world multitasking is a myth and I find that as spiritual activists as conscious.

Makers as change agents of the world, whatever you want to call yourself all of us one of the biggest mistakes we've seen and this was the quote that I shared in a thought for Martin Luther King that I've really held close to me is he said those who love peace need to learn to organize themselves as well as those who love war.

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Right those who love peace need to learn to organize themselves as well as those who love war IE people are trying to build destruction the world and distractions in the world are highly organized highly focused highly data-oriented highly strategic highly process driven. And so we have to be the same and when you spend time with vision who spent time with the Mindvalley team you realize their success is intuitive it is deep it is full of love, but it is also highly strategic it is also highly focused.