Welcome to the show. I'm Jordan Harbinger, as always I'm here with producer, Jason defilippo, on the Jordan Harbinger show we decode the stories secrets and skills of the world's most brilliant people in turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you. We want to help you see the Matrix when it comes to how these amazing people think and behave we want you to become a better thinker. If you're new to the show, we've got episodes with spies and CEOs athletes and authors.
Thinkers and performers as well as tool boxes for skills, like negotiation body language persuasion and more. So if you're smart and you like to learn and improve, you'll be right at home here with us. Back on the show with me. Once again, is Jim quick, he was known as the boy with the broken brain as a kid because he'd suffered a head injury. He had a learning disability, could memorize things couldn't read was a bad student. He's dedicated himself to self improvement and learning specifically meta learning or the science of learning how to learn today. We speak about Focus purpose and motivation.
These ideas are different than you might think there was hokey than you might think and they interact in different ways that never occur to most of us there's always loads of practicals and episodes with Jim. So make sure to check out the worksheets on the website at Jordan Harbinger.com and if you want to know how I managed to book, all these great, folks, and manage all these relationships with all the guests that come on the show, I have a networking course that is free. You can use it for your business. You can use it for your personal life, that's over at Jordan, Harbinger.com / course, and most of the guests on the show, they subscribe to the course and the newsletter
So, come join us and you'll be in smart company where you belong? Now here's Jim quick.
Jim thanks for coming on the show, man. Jordan, it's such a pleasure to
be back. I've been really looking forward to this.
We've been friends for a long time and last time you came on the show, I think we talked about Focus study, memories speed reading some critical thinking type stuff, we'll do a little bit more critical thinking stuff today, but I'd like to get into some of the I don't know if it's a new content but certainly stuff we haven't talked about in the
past, I could appreciate that especially what's going on in the world right now. Where people feel like they're overloaded, they're overwhelmed or not certain what tomorrow is going to.
Look like job might be a Jeopardy you know, the future of work or The New Normal. I mean, people are very concerned for sure. Let's give them some good news. There are
seven lies to learning L IE, I don't know what L IE stands for here, but I'm sure it's some clever mnemonic device that you've created because if I know one thing about you it's that you have clever mnemonic devices. So I'd like to talk about these because this is actually, it's like starting with some good news, right?
It is. A lie, of course, is an acronym. I use a lot of mnemonics. I used a lot of
Of illiterate everything to make a memorable. And it may be easy to share and store a live for me, stands for a limited idea entertained. So it's this idea that mindset plays a role and the beliefs that we choose to entertain about ourselves, and about life. And about learning has an effect on our results. Something as simple as one analyze like intelligence is fixed, like you take a test when you're eight years old and that's your
When you're 88 years old and I'm he's no, it's simply not true. And so, as part of the book, we talk about mindset and on limiting, these commonly held beliefs, that may hold back our performance and and our
results. The first one I think is first of all, good news for everyone. It's that intelligence is fixed that in the idea that intelligence is not fixed. I think a lot of people know that but I will tell you if you told me this 10 years ago I would have probably not even believed you and I am so
Glad that that is not actually true.
Yeah, I we tend to think of IQ scores as a fixed reflection of our intelligence but that is simply not the case. The IQ test actually measures may be some a segment of academic capabilities but not innate intelligence. You know, to this day IQ test still do measure, creativity, emotional intelligence, social intelligence, you know, the Practical intelligence. So that is what a lot of people would call Street smarts, if you will. And there's an important distinction to remember that there's
Difference between test scores and your ability to learn. And so we talked about that in the context that the truth is. It's not necessarily how smart you are on a test. It's how are you smart? And then, there are multiple types of intelligence and a lot of it is context dependent, meaning that maybe Einstein wasn't, you know, if his car didn't work and he was pulled over on the side, maybe he couldn't fix his own car because it's context-dependent, depending on on, what's going on in the environment. So,
So my more of a belief that's more accurate is that intelligence is not fixed. It's more fluid and I could show anybody how to do better on an IQ test to be able to study, to be able to boost their memory and have those numbers if you will. But for me, intelligence is the ability to adapt intelligence is the ability to see patterns that I do believe that Genius Leaves Clues. When someone is successful at certain things that if you're willing to put the time in and do the Deep work and uncover, there are strategies, and their
Is that you could if you create some Merlot results and so intelligence is not fixed, it's certainly
fluid. We know that the IQ thing is kind of not necessarily the case because when people take IQ tests with different, backgrounds are even in different contexts, but they're the same person and it's the same time of day or a different time of Dave, the results change. So completely, we know that these simple measurements of intelligence are not necessarily true and even standardized tests. Now, I think the train has sailed as Austin Powers says,
Standardized tests saying anything about our intelligence other than our ability to actually take standardized
test. Exactly. That means you're really good at taking tests, which is one form, but, you know, then there's visual spatial intelligence. People are genius at their great graphic artists, and they are wonderful Architects. There is kinesthetic intelligence people who you had on your show, that have incredible control and development of their physiology, the athletes, the choreographers, the dancers, and
There's so many different forms of genius and it's really again, not how smart someone is, but really how are they smart? And so, the idea that intelligence is fixed, that's absolutely false. You could increase it and they're multiple forms of intelligence, then maybe the SATs tests for mean a verbal mathematical. There's so many more that are equally valued and we need all kinds of intelligence in society. You need all forms of Intelligence on your team. So
Genius Leaves close to something you mentioned before. Tell us what that
that means because that's a very clever sort of bumper sticker and itself. But let's
dive into the and so that's one of the costs of saying things that are a little bit, might sound a little trite and memorable that it maybe it takes away from the the impact and people could blow it off. I believe that when people see for example, when I do things on stage And I memorized a hundred people's names or a hundred words and numbers. I always tell people there's a method behind but looks like magic that genius in fact is not
They born the genius is built and that's just another lie. You know that genius is born that through deep work and practice that we could actually grow our talent and we could get better at skills and we could have new distinctions and you know really what Limitless is about is it's not about being perfect. It's about progressing in advancing beyond what you currently believe is possible. And one of the things that keeps us static is the thinking those deeply held
Ifs. Our self-talk that says, you know, because you could give somebody a method for remembering names but if their mindset or they have a limited belief that says I'm not smart enough or I don't have a good memory, it's just going to be more self fulfilling than anything else. But we're talking about Genius Leaves Clues, I believe that people who are great investors, they are able to negotiate, they able to do anything in between that they're doing certain things that
Are usually unconscious or invisible to the rest of the world and when people know what they're doing that there is a process. Like maybe there's not a pill. Everyone wants the pill, right? What's a pill that's going to fix my love life, what's the pill that's going to make me all the money? What's the pill or silver bullet? That's going to fix my
memory with your title of your book is from that move. Well, I don't know if it's from that movie, but there was a movie called Limitless, was that Bradley Cooper, by the way, it was, it was with Bradley
Cooper, Robert De Niro where he goes from Zero to Hero and he takes
Is that pill and he has this incredible focus and he has an incredible memory learns languages and he has this surge of motivation. But when the pill wears off, 24 hours later, he goes back down to zero again. The forward of the book was by dr. Mark Hyman and he writes in it that there is no genius pill, but Jim gives you the process for unlocking your best brain in your brightest future. So I don't believe in the the pills, but I do believe that there is a process for doing things for Investing, For negotiating for creating great.
Nation chips to being a great listener, to be able to read faster. When you take a noun and you turn it into a verb or people often say to themselves, I don't have motivation. I don't have creativity. I don't have Focus, those aren't things, you have, those are things that you do. And when you turn it into a verb, it gives you your agency back. Frankly it get it allows you to have more control as opposed to being the effect and just wake up. And I'm like, oh, I hope and energy today are hope I'm creative. So I could
Write that book or make those videos
Jim, you know me I always want to zoom in and go micro and I was about to jump into the motivation angle here because that is a common misconception that I think needs cleared up and people would be well served to hear that but I know you have the Limitless model. You want to give us an overview of this before I start throwing a magnifying glass on
specific pieces. That's perfect. So, the Limitless model is a three-part framework for not only accelerated learning, but for unlocking human potential, I know that's a grandiose claims.
So I will dissect this. I want everybody to think about an area of their life where they feel like they're not making progress where they are not advancing, it could be in their career, it could be in their income, it could be in there packed, it can be in their health, maybe it's in their personal relationships or maybe they're not progressing in their learning, you know, as we talked about in terms of reading speed or their memory, don't you think about an area where you feel like you're in a box and you're not making progress?
Yes. And in that box you have, you know it's three dimensional, right? And the three dimensions that keep you in that box are the three elements to the Limitless model. So it keeps you there, but it also, these are the same three elements that will liberate you. And so I want everyone to take out a piece of paper if they're able to, if not, they just can imagine it. Imagine three intersecting circles. So, you can think about Mickey Mouse two ears that are intersecting and the face and
All Crossover with each other. So there's some shared space and these are the three circles that really unlock your potential, your ability to learn your ability to earn your ability to grow. And so the first circle is your mindset and how I would Define mindset are. It's your assumptions and attitudes about something. Your mindset is your attitudes and assumptions about the world and how it works. It could be your mindset about
out your assumptions and attitudes about yourself or about learning. So what would fall squarely in that Circle? Would be things. Like what you believe is possible will be part of your mindset, what you believe, you are capable of because you could believe something is possible, but you could also believe that you're not capable of that thing. What would fall in that Circle or things like what you believe you deserve? And so this is the first M of the Limitless model, another three M's obviously.
Stem is going to be methods and primarily Limitless was a book on methodology when I was ready to turn it into my publisher. It was things we you and I have talked about before how to read faster. How to focus, how to use critical thinking skills, learning languages and give TED talks from memory. And then I asked myself this question. I said that, will everybody who gets this book and reads it, will they all get results? And my honest answer was no and, you know, really not by a long shot because a lot of people know what to
To do, but they don't do it. And what keeps people from doing the things that they know they should do. And so I added these two elements in and really it's three books in one. So the first thing is your mindset. And that's where we talked about the lies, The Limited ideas that we entertain and we have to unlimite those in order to be able to move forward because I could teach you a method on learning languages or giving a TED Talk from memory. But if your mindset is oh, I'm not a good public speaker or I have a horrible.
Memory. That's going to keep you in that box. The second M, the circle is your motivation and I know this is something that is very concerning for a lot of people because there's a lie around motivation or a number of lives around motivation, like they're our mindset, a limited idea entertain, like one of the lies I think around motivation is that first of all, most people think motivation is going to a seminar and jumping on chairs and waving your arms and saying, hey, I'm going to change my life and the next day we know what happens, right? You know, you don't start
You're sizing. You don't start eating the good food, you don't start writing that book or whatever start saving and doing the things that, you know, you should do. So what gets in the way. So motivation for me really is sustainable drive and I have a formula for sustainable motivation. Even when Bradley Cooper took the pill get surge of motivation. But when that pill were off, no motivation, no drive. And so there's a formula. Now, one of the lies before I give you, the three step formula is that you have to enjoy the thing.
Because looking at it, scientifically motivation is not what you say. Someone could say they're motivated or they could feel motivated. But the evidence that you're motivated, is that you do something, right? You take some sort of consistent action. Somebody can't say that they're motivated workout and not work out, right? Knowing that's the case. One of the things I thought about was so many people say you have to enjoy that thing in order to be motivated, right? And you have to have this intrinsic motivation and I
I feel like I could think of some counter-examples meaning that I know I have friends that wake up at four o'clock in the morning for me. I I don't do that but they work out even on top of that and I asked a friend of mine who does that, and there you can't say, this person's not motivated, they never missed a day. I asked him a question. Do you enjoy waking up in the morning that early and he says, absolutely not, I'm not a morning person. I was like, okay, do you enjoy working out at least? Is that why? He's like no working out. I hate it. It's the
One thing I dislike the most after waking up early and I'm like, wow and yet you never miss a day and I'm like, wow, so it doesn't mean you have to enjoy that thing because a lot of people think in order to be motivated to do something they have to enjoy it. Now I'm all for adding joy to it and finding the positive in it but it's not a prerequisite. Meaning that when you and I have talked about my morning routines in a previous episode, one of the things to you know the first hour of the day, one of the things I take a cold shower or if people do follow me on social media.
Shh, I often take in 5 minute ice bath, pure ice and the truth be told I hate it. I really hate it. I drew up in the Northeast. I don't like the cold at all and yet I never miss it and I'm consistent about it. I mean people could say I'm very motivated and it's not that I enjoy it but I have a reason to do it and that this is what I want to get into in terms of human motivation. And so there are three keys for sustainable motivation. So as you're thinking
In about some area of your life where you're not motivated, quote, unquote, you're not making progress, your lose sabotage, you procrastinate, you put things off. This is the formula for sustainable motivation and how I came up with this is not only is this book, the latest Neuroscience applied to accelerated learning and human potential, cognitive performance. It's also just 28 years of field. Testing this from children with learning challenges to seniors, who have been
Stage Dimension, everyone in between again, Genius Leaves Clues. And when I think about the motivated individuals, that I know they have these three elements. So let's go through a thought experiment. Let's say you and I and the person listening to this right now, we are going to build the ultimate human being who's motivated all the time. They have the ultimate motivation, it just never falters and so as we're going through this thought experiment, I believe the formula is p times e times S 3.
P times, e times S. Three, these are the three elements for sustainable motivation. Now, the P stands for purpose, I don't love taking cold showers but I have a reason for doing
so and I'm not is the reason I have to know about this and I'm just like, there's not yet why do this to yourself. So for
me, I feel better after I take a cold shower, then I do having coffee, it's like a nervous system. Reset
try, having more coffee.
They say cold therapy, you know, you hit your knee and you know, like on the coffee table, you put ice on it to reduce the swelling. Will it reduces inflammation? That's the goal, we lower information and our body that can lead to two challenges summation. Yeah and for me though it really just did wakes me up and in a way you know, when I go and I don't do it all cold, I go hold and I go. Hi, you know, 30 seconds on 30 seconds off and they say it's good for your skin, but really, for me, I just feel like it's a reset and I feel amazing.
Raising afterwards. And when I'm talking about purpose, I'm thinking about the P stands for purpose and the equation. And I don't mean your life purpose. I mean, having a purpose for acting because the truth is that if somebody is not following through, in terms of their motivation, sometimes they can't find the purpose in it. They don't see why it's relevant or rewarding for themselves, so maybe they shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Let's look at that. One of the best ways to improve your efficiency and Effectiveness, and not doing the things you should be doing. But if you can't find purpose or
Or maybe that person, it's just intellectual like they can make a list of pros and cons of why they should do something, but they're not feeling it. And I do really do believe that. You know, as we know that people don't buy logically, they buy emotionally because we are not logical. We are biological. You think about dopamine, oxytocin serotonin, these endorphins is where this chemical soup and so how do you allow yourself to feel the rewards of doing something feeling it? And also the
Consequences of not doing it because for example, I have an acquaintance who just would not change their lifestyle. They hit all the crappy food. They don't exercise they do you just name it and then one day they have a heart attack and they had triple bypass surgery and they came out of it and they still continue their lifestyle you know with a smoking and everything else. No judgment. But that's just their choice and I have a quote in the book from a French philosopher that says life is the sea
I mean, B and D. Life is the sea between B and D. I start the book that way and you're thinking, you know, Jim you're speaking in tongues, you're speaking in code. Yeah, b stands for birth. So d stands for death and sea life, stands for choice. I really do believe that we are the sum total of the choices we've made up to this point, you know, choices. Like where am I going to go to school? Who am I going to spend time with? What am I going to eat today?
Am I going to exercise or not exercise today? Where am I going to live, right? All these choices led us up to the point where at right now and I believe right now with the difficult times that these difficult times, they could diminish, you these difficult times can Define you, or these difficult times can develop you, ultimately, we decide, right? And so, we make these micro choices all the time. Going back to the power of motivation is just choosing the meaning behind something. And
This man who didn't choose his, he, he chose his lifestyle, what to eat or in one, not to work out or whether to smoke or not. And then one day his daughter comes to him, crying, crying, and crying. And the father wants to know what's the matter. And he, she was upset because she wants when she grows up her father to walk her down, the aisle at her wedding and all the sudden he starts to work out all the sudden he starts to eat better, right? And so you have to allow yourself to feel
All the rewards of doing that activity that you want to be motivated for and I also think that some people, they always will be positive. I think pain could be a great motivator to allow yourself to feel the consequences of not following through with something. So that's the p and the equation is purpose. And again, not just intellectually knowing the benefits that come from following through also, allowing yourself to feel the pain, like who's counting on you to show up today and to do and to follow through on these things. So that
That's the p is purpose. Now, I went back into this mental experiment, I'm saying, okay, we're designing the ultimate human being, who's always motivated. If that person just has purpose and they really feel it, will they always be consistently acting and motivated.
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Yeah, of course, not right. Because you're going to run into these times when sure I have a reason to do this, like I want to walk my daughter down the aisle but I'm 300 pounds or something like that and I'm yeah, I don't even know if we need an absolute measurement a hundred pounds. Overweight, right. But in the moment I'm like, but I'm hungry and I'm so tired and I did so much work today. I deserve to eat this rack of ribs which sounds amazing right now but and so it's hard in the moment to then sees that motivation you just think I'll start tomorrow and then you let yourself down and you beat yourself up but you still ate the
Exactly. And part of that, delves back into the mindset, you know, in terms of the mindset of what we deserve the mindset of what's most important to us and what's possible. What I noticed when I was doing the experiment, I was like I could think of another exception even if somebody has purpose and they really feel it, right? They might not still act. So let's use a simple example, like working out again, right? This is very straightforward, somebody could have a reason for exercising and they get feel it, but let's say the E by the way, to give it away. Stan.
As for energy. So maybe they have a newborn and haven't slept in three days or there so freaked out what's going on right now in the world that they have this anxiety and it's keeping up them up late at night and they lack the energy so they're not going to be motivated to work out and energy is very important, like, having the fuel, let's say they want to read every single day, they know? Hey, I think it's important to read. I heard Jim say reading is to your mind what exercises to your body. I want to level up and learn new skills and and why, you know why?
We are cocooning are, you know, during this time. But let's say that person ate a big meal love like processed food and they're in a food coma. You're not gonna be very motivated to study or read because they lack the energy and so I wanted to address energy in the book. So we did a whole chapter on how to optimize and level up your mental Vitality, search for people who struggle with mental fatigue. So we talked everything about, you know, the best brain food, stop demise your sleep and so on. And then my mind went, okay.
Yeah. Yeah, purpose. And you have energy as that. All you need for this ultimate motivated. Human being and I was like, no, I can think of one more exception that will keep this person from acting. If you could feel the reasons, the purpose, you could have an abundance of energy, you got great night's sleep or, you know, all the best foods ever. But if that thing in your mind is too big or too intimidating, or too confusing, then you're not going to do it and S3. The final part of the equation are small,
Simple steps. So many people, you know, this door and they have this idea. They want they want to create the next multimillion-dollar social media
brand, right? They want to create the next rebirth. They don't know what you want to like, get off their butt and make the app.
Yeah, exactly. It is so huge, right. It's like, I want to find my soul mate and live happily ever after. I mean, these are people's goals. They would have the perfect body or whatever it is. It's just way too big. How you find your small simple? Step, your S3 is asking this very simple clarifying, question. What is the time?
Aeneas action, I could take that will give me progress towards this goal, where I simply cannot fail. What's the tiniest action? I could take that as we progress towards this goal where I can't fail, because it requires very little effort, very little energy. I think a lot of people overthink things like thinking is good but overthinking and want everything to be perfect. You know. It's process analysis. What is one little thing. So, maybe it's not working out as an example. Maybe it is putting on your running shoes, maybe it's not reading 45.
A day, maybe it's opening the book are reading one line in the book because nobody's going to stop at one line inch by inch. It's a cinch yard by yard. It's too hard. It's really energy. Management is motivations. We're talking about having purpose. You know, gives you energy doing the things like eating the best food sleep gives you. Vitality gives you energy and then breaking things down into small. Bite-sized pieces requires very little energy and you get some momentum on top of that that's motivation.
Ian. And then the final M, the circle, we talked about our methods. Those are the processes for doing things in the book. We document five specific kind of superpowers. You know, I like to talk about mental superpowers, we talk about speed reading memory enhancement, Focus study and critical thinking skills, but when you're looking at this model, here's a lot of the big aha's for people. As you draw this out on paper or in your mind, you see these three big circles intersecting. Now, we're mindset crosses over with
Probation. You have what I call inspiration. So you have experts on mindset, you have a great book called mindset by Carol. Dweck. You have motivational speakers or motivational books where that crosses over, you have this area of inspiration. So in three of inspiring speakers you have inspiring movies, you're right, and when you're inspired by movie it kind of shifts a little bit, your mind sending you to a little energy and little motivation. That's the first I and of course I'm gonna give you three guys to match the 3M. So naturally what her mindset
It crosses over with methods because problem with mindset and motivations you have inspiration but it doesn't include the method so you're inspired, but you don't know what to do, right? Could you lock the methods, where mindset crosses over with methods? You have ideation, meaning, your mindset says, okay, I know this is possible. I know I'm capable of it and I know what to do the methods, but you're still not doing it. So it stays in idea because you lack the motivation. So that's ideation. And that's a that's a lot of
Want to be entrepreneurs, right? They had baby read things on mindset, everything everything's possible because they see it on social media, they might even know what to do but they don't do it right. And so we know that ideas are available readily available but what a lot of people don't do is wear motivation. Crosses over with methods, You're motivated, you have purpose, you have energy. And you know what to do the methods? That's implementation. The third eye implementation yet, you can still be stuck in that box because you're only going to be able to
To achieve what you believe is possible, what you believe you are capable of what you believe you deserve, because you lack the mindset. And then finally, we're all three M's are all three eyes intersect. That Middle Point, the Nexus, if you will, is a fourth. I, and that for thigh is integration integration, like integer or integral, it means your whole. This is where it's just who you are, that's the Limitless State. And so, when you think about whether
Relationships or your career, or your impact, or your income. This is a framework for looking at it and analyzing saying, okay, here are some new distinguish ins. If I'm not making progress, I'm not advancing. Is it in my mindset? Am I telling myself these lies? Is it? In my belief in myself, is it a belief about the world or how businesses are work? Or is it in my motivation to have? I do I not have real purpose here? Am I allowing myself to feel that purpose? Do I lack the energy? Maybe I'm around these
Vampires that. I every time I turn to make a progress, these people bring me down. It's so cold. My battery life, you know. Or is it? I'm up? You know, I'm overwhelmed, I'm not breaking down to small simple step, or I might not role modeling people who know, Neil current ways of marketing or investing, or of negotiating on the methods, maybe they're Antiquated. And I need to learn the new processes. And so, it takes the Judgment out and you can narrow in into the area where they exist the
bottleneck, right? This makes sense because they think
A lot of people, they'll think, well, I just need to get motivated and doesn't matter how motivated you are. If you don't have any sort of plan, or even if you do have the plan and you don't necessarily have the purpose to sustain that motivation. It's not going to happen. So if you don't have a method it goes nowhere or let's say you have that motivation. And by the way, we're going to put all this in the worksheets along with this sort of, Venn diagram and everything. With all these different alliterative little bumper stickers that we can throw in the worksheet. So nobody has to be. You have to replay this and take notes, will give you the notes in the worksheet.
Sheets that are always on the website at Jordan Harbinger.com, but for people, that might have methods and motivation. If you only believe you're going to get to a certain level, you will self-sabotage. And I know this sounds a little hokey like, you believe it, you can achieve it. I don't believe that at all. In fact, I believe that there's a lot of people that only have mindset. And you see them online that the people were, like, I can achieve anything. And it's like, cool, what you gonna do? Well tomorrow, because today, I'm tired. I'm gonna go and post a lot of memes on Instagram, and it's like, okay, your method is flawed. Your motivation is lacking.
Your mindset, you know, a plus I guess but it's not going to do squat for you. Alternately. I do know a lot of people that are hardworking. They wake up every day with a more or less, a go-getter attitude and this was me, especially even when I worked in the law firm, it was never like I should start my own thing. You know, I could do something better. It was always like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who are you? You're 27, you know, at the time you're 27, you not gonna be able to run a business. That's for people who know what they're doing. A lot of these people went to business school. You can't just like start your own thing and have it be successful. Knucklehead. You
Gotta clamp down. So I worked really hard. I got up every day. Worked out, I went to law school. I graduated and passed the bar exam. My methods were sound. My motivation was there, but the mindset was inherently limiting now, getting laid off, / leaving sort of depends on which technically isn't Jeremy. Want to look at then, I brought my motivation, I brought my methods to that, but I had a mindset shift that was forced upon me by the economy because it was either be the biggest victim of that recession or just start doing what I wanted to do anyway. And even then,
Man, I'll tell you it was hard for me to wrap my head around making more money than I would have. As a lawyer it was like well I'll do my own business but I'll never make like multiple six figures as an individual because that's lawyer money and you can't make a good living doing something you really like. Because that's somehow
cheating. Ooh, yeah, that's a perfect example. Where your mindset is kind of like that unconscious thermostat where he said like what your worth in terms of income. Yeah. And then your behaviors and your motivation will be able to reflect that and you'll be able to create that.
And so, you know, having the right mindset in terms of what you believe is possible because some things that keep us away from what we really want, is this belief that we don't deserve it or we can't get it or they can be, you know, have the right mindset as you mention and be motivated but they're using Antiquated methods. Like maybe the system that they're operating within that job or those rules doesn't allow for the results that you want to
create another interesting example where this crops up and it just, it happens in people's language and it's very subtle. And again, I'm not one of those people who's like
Got to be careful of your word choice because this, that and the other thing. But I mean, I saw on Twitter. Somebody had taken a picture of my car's license plate because my wife made a really funny sort of vanity plate. That's, it was all her idea. I probably shouldn't shout. My license plate number out on the show but let needless to say, whenever people see our car that take photos of the license plate and we have a Tesla because we share a car. So we just bought one decent car instead of like two cars because I never drive anywhere. And we barely ever go anywhere, especially right now. So we got we driver testing. A lot of people will take
Pictures of that and I saw somebody on Twitter post it and then someone replied. Oh well that guy is probably this that and the other thing and you know with the license plate like that and I was like actually that's my car because I search Twitter for my license plate because it pops up a lot. So actually that's my car and I wonder why you say that and she seemed like a normal person. She just said some nasty stuff based on the type of car and I said do you find that Tesla drivers are inconsiderate or something and she goes she wrote back very candidly. She goes, no, it actually has nothing to do with you. I just know. I'll never be able to afford a Tesla.
I always hate on people because it actually is a really cool car and I said, whoa, wow, what makes you say that? Because we're talking about a car that's not, like, it's not insane, it's not a sports car, it's the lowest model that you can get, you know, it's really like a basic in many ways electric car. And I just thought, like, wow, that's a really interesting thing to say about yourself, like plenty of my neighbors have Tesla's and they're not doctors and lawyers exclusively. Like there's plenty of normal people that just on these cars. And she said, well, you know, and I can't remember her exact occupation, but I think
it was she was like in journalism or something, she's like, well, I will never make enough money to have a lifestyle that affords that kind of car. And I remember getting in a conversation with her in through direct message and I was just like, you know, you got to get rid of this idea because you will actually sabotage yourself from opportunity that you think you don't deserve that, could be really good for you and for your career because it doesn't fit the idea of the lifestyle that your quote-unquote allowed to live as a writer as a journalist and I gave her some
Those of writers that were killing it now. Guy, Roz journalist, who's making tons of do doing, how I built this, and other stuff with NPR, Terry Gross. I'm sure does pretty well. Especially working for NPR, doing fresh air, and then other writers like, Mark Manson, no one's going to tell that guy. Like, hey man, you know, you better get a damn job. I think he's probably in the eight-figure segment of earnings from his books by now. So you really do have to be careful and I didn't think people actually did that. You know, if I'd read your book before seeing
Examples like that and saying oh you know yourself imposing a lot of your limits and did I would just think add? This is some self-help, mumbo-jumbo BS, nobody's really doing that. But if you talk to enough people, you will see, folks that say, I will never get to do this and they don't see anything wrong with that kind of mindset that kind of expression. They don't see how that limits them, it's completely invisible, and it is, and that
part of reason why I wrote this book. And it's not just a book on methodology is to make the invisible more visible, because I see it consistently just like how active you are.
Twitter when I'm out speaking all the time. People come to me after a speech, you know, in the privacy of just do one on one conversation. They'll say things like, you know, I had this label not, you know, similar to yours where I felt like I was stupid, you know, my father made me believe this or they'll be saying things, like, I'm way too old, I can't do that, you know, I don't deserve that, I grew up with, and they'll be telling me all the reasons why that they can't possibly do that. And if I give them a counter reason, because my, my idea here is that
That if somebody else is in the same similar situation where they didn't have the money or they didn't have the network, or they didn't have the education and they're still able to go through this, then it kind of eliminates, some of our excuses and people come to you still in those say like oh I just can't possibly learn that or I'm not smart enough and I say, you know, it's for little Hill cliche by was like Hey if you stop fighting for limitations you keep on fighting for your limitations, you get to keep the. Yeah. But people will like dig in and then they'll defend
All the reasons why they are not capable or able to do that. And they'll give you all the evidence for it too.
I can't learn this because I'm learning disabled or I'm not good at languages. Is another one I use that too. If you'd told me in high school hey man, you're probably going to become pretty much fluent in five languages as an adult. I'd say I got to see in French man. You got the wrong guy and then I moved to Germany and I found oh turns out I'm actually pretty good at learning languages and now I speak Mandarin Chinese and German and
Serbian, you know, like these are things that I had to shed that but when I was in Germany, I kept saying I'm not good at languages, I'm not good at languages. And then one day the evidence just started to overwhelm me because I understood everything that people won't, you know, 80% of what people were saying to me that day in German in, or if the teachers were saying it's cool. And it was just like, okay, fine. I think I know a lot of German and then I just went home and started speaking and my host parents were like, what happened? We couldn't get you to talk for four.
It's now we can't get you to shut up. It wasn't that one day? I suddenly learned German, because I just had the right, you know, vitamins that night and woke up speaking German. It was that my brain finally, let go of the idea that I wasn't good at languages. And then I sought out evidence to refute that and I still do like I'm still taking Mandarin Chinese in the morning because I need to refute the evidence that my brain says, hey look, you might not be able to learn this in. Look, you might not do this with languages. If you're out there, listening to this and you've ever said anything, like, I can't do this, because I'm learning disabled, I can't do this because I'm
Bad with names. I have a bad memory or I grew up, poor or this type of career will never afford me that or I could never get this type of relationship in my life where my friends will never be these types of people. It might seem innocent enough, but like you said, if you fight enough for your limitations, you get to keep them, like there were plenty of kids that were in Germany. With me that said, I can't learn German. I'm never going to make friends here and they went home early and it makes me wonder 20/20 hindsight. How many of them were like months? Maybe.
And weeks or days away from waking up. And going, you know what, I can probably do this. I could probably do this. I understand what's going on. Why don't I just like shed this BS and get to it? Because I certainly was thinking maybe I should just leave. I'm never going to learn it, but I didn't want to give up. I didn't want my parents to make fun of me for leaving also, you know, and that's
interesting because you had a reason I'm going back to purpose even for me, you know, I had it was a decade and a half of struggles in school. You know, I would always be shrinking behind the big kid. I would sell toys purposely find.
And you know the seat that was behind the tall kid so I won't be called on. I would be saying to myself, I'm just not good at tests, I can't public speak. I can you know, learn this like everybody else. I'm not, you know and then it becomes an in a lot of ways self-fulfilling and it's interesting how you when you Illustrated that that it wasn't just like something just didn't happen. And all of a sudden there were things that gradually got you to a point where you hit this threshold and you had see it from a, You couldn't possibly
Neither the evidence to the contrary, right? And we tend to yeah. The brain primarily is a deletion device and you can't focus on everything. So we tend to delete the things that we don't believe. Like, if we don't believe that something exists, we just won't see it as much as opposed it for seeking it out and looking for the evidence to support and it's not even necessarily right or wrong for me, belief is not necessary about truth. As much as it is is, is this useful for me to adopt for me as a teacher? I have a general belief
If that everybody has this incredible genius potential. Now, whether it's true or not, I don't know. You could probably argue for not, but I choose to believe it and I'll act accordingly. So because I think more people fall short of what they're capable of far, more than the people who are on the other side of that.
You're listening to the Jordan Harbinger show, we'll be right back after
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Now, again, I want to highlight that this is not believe it and you can do it because frankly, you
Ant that's what the Limitless model says. Hey, just because you believe it, you can't, you have to have the other pieces in place. And I was so glad because as you and I both know, there are so many sort of self helpy. People that are, you know, you are enough. And it's like, well, no, you're not. There are pieces that go into this. It's a nice thought that you're enough. And that you believe that you can do it but not, yeah, not really. There's a lot of people that would love to believe they can speak Mandarin, but the fact is they can't. And I was one of those people before, I spent eight years, learning it, you know? And there's a lot of people that probably
We think, you know, I could be a lawyer if I wanted to and they're not wrong about that but if they then make the leap to I know as much as a doctor because I read an article on the internet. We're seeing a lot of that lately, that's different and that's dangerous thinking. So it's not just all about mindset and I hate to beat a dead horse for a lot of people who are like, dude, I know I can't do this just because I believe it. You would be shocked at how many people sabotage themselves. Not just into thinking, they can't do something because they believe it. But then doing the opposite and thinking that they are qualified, just because they believe and leaving all
Other pieces on the table which is just as destructive and weirdly entitled and delusional, I'll
add, I agree with that. People can stay in their mindset saying, everything is possible. And think of like, I'm just going to attract all these things, but honestly, if they don't do the work and the, you know, the steps and the methods, you know, there's action involve also and so it is not one thing. And that that's what everyone in our society. Sometimes when people watch social media, they're looking for the one thing to make a million dollars or the one thing to improve their memory.
The one thing to get the perfect body it's never one thing.
Another topic that's sort of adjacent to mindset, although I think it crosses over all three areas now that you mention it is the concept of a dominant question, can you tell us about this a little bit? I find this useful in it and it dovetails into a nice
story that you told me earlier. I believe that mean this is extremely practical. Something that falls into all threes and becomes integrated as a powerful tool called your dominant question and you know, research suggests that we have anywhere from
Thousand to 70,000 thoughts a day. And a lot of those thoughts are actually coming in the form of questions that were asking ourselves. And there's some questions that were asking more than any other questions and I called those your dominant questions. So whether you have one or two or three, the reason why it's important is because when you have a question, you activate that part of your brain called the reticular activating system Ras for short, the example that I use, I really do believe that questions have a
of power in them. You know, whether you ask a question like why do I want to remember this person's name or asking questions before you read something? Then you get answers and the answers and the answers as opposed to not having those questions. I think questions are like magnets for Solutions. And and I know this because I remember years ago, my younger sister would send me like these postcards in these images. These emails of a very specific kind of dog, a pug dog, right? These little docile dogs with smushed in faces and the question I would ask
Self is, why is she sending me these pug dogs? Can I kept on asking that? And I realize it came up with the answer. Her birthday was coming up, so she's a great marketer, she's seating that Reno really intelligently, but an interesting thing happened, I started seeing pug dogs everywhere. I would go to the grocery store and the woman in front of me, would be holding a pug, dog at the register. I be jogging in my neighborhood and I swear to you Jordan, there's a guy walking six, pug dogs. And my question for everybody, listening is the, these pug dogs just magically appear.
Here on Earth. Of course not. They were always there, but I never paid attention to them because at any given time there could be a billion stimuli you could be paying attention to. So primarily your brain is a deletion device, it's trying to keep more information out because if you let it all in, we would go insane. We'd be way overloaded. And what you let in is really determined by your questions. And so I started asking questions about pug dogs. I start seeing pug dogs everywhere and so going back to the power,
Of questions. It's kind of like your mind has an algorithm like Instagram. If you go through Instagram or Facebook and you like all of the cat posts, then Instagram is going to show you because the algorithm more cats, right, right. That's also my concern with people indulging, in overindulging may be in the news because I'm not saying don't know what's going on. I think it's intelligent to gauge what's going on in the world, but some people could say and they'll even say this themselves are
LT of it, maybe they are spending way too many hours in the day doing that and it's not leading to something. You know, that they want to be able to create because chronic stress shrinks your brain and chronic fear actually suppresses your immune system makes you more susceptible to colds or viruses or, you know, flus and such. It's an area of science called
psychoneuroimmunology. I used to think that was total BS by the way. And it turns out to be true, like those people that always think they're sick. They actually some people
You know, issues where they believe that the, you know, the hypochondria. But some people actually think themselves into such a state of stress that they get sick far more than everyone else. It's amazing and sucks for them obvious. And it applies
even for, you know, having a commentary on like people, some people are so rigid with their diet, for example and there's no judgment. It's just they're so obsessed with it and they're so stressed. And there's so much anxiety that it kind of negates all the benefits of eating all those vegetables. You know what I mean? Anyway, going back to
What we're talking about here is your mind has that algorithm. So if you just if you focus on everything that's dark, it starts showing you more of that in your news feed and your mental news feed and then you don't shine a light on what's possible or you might not be shining a light and deleting opportunity or deleting things that you can be grateful for in that moment because we don't have infinite conscious Focus. So we're selecting and then. So whatever we feed, we get more of whatever we can gauge with on social media, they give us more of and same thing with
What we put in our minds and so going back to this how to regain control. More of your focus is the power of questions. And we have a dominant question and we're not limited to one, but just thinking about these pugs. For example, if you had this Dominic question of, how do I make things better? Like, for example, I have a friend who I took through a process in the book and we found out her dominant. Question is, how do I get people to like me now during you don't know how old she is. You don't know where she is.
Lives, you know, know her cultural ethical background. You Don't Know Her career, but you probably know a little bit about her personality if somebody's obsessed with answering the question, how do I get this person or how do I get people to like me, what's her life? Like what's her personality
like? Yeah. Yeah. Constantly insecure and evaluating others perception of her terrible. Yeah.
And then some people take advantage of her. She's always people-pleasing, she's a martyr, she's a sicko fan, you know her personally molds, depending on who she's spending time with. That's what she happens to like or dislike.
Like and so, you know, all this about her and, you know, one question that she asks the cover quote for the book Limitless is from Will Smith and I get to work with a lot of actors teaching them how to speed read. Scripts, remain, focus on camera. Be able to remember their lines faster and easier. And I remember we spent the entire day together in Toronto, he was shooting at night time from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. everyone thinks that Hollywood Is So Glamorous and you know, I know you've had a lot of these guests on your show a lot of
X is anything but it's just hurry up to wait and you're waiting. And you're waiting, you're waiting, and remember we're shooting. It was like 2 o'clock, you know at night, right? And it's in the middle of winter where in Toronto were shooting outside and earlier that day, we found out his dominant question was, how do I make this moment more magical? How do I make this moment more magical and I was like, can we make it better? And he was like, yeah, how can I make this moment even more magical and I was like, wow,
That presupposes. It's ready. Magical. And I was like that's an interesting question. And then later that evening we know we're waiting and waiting and waiting and work. Freezing in his family. Is there from West Philly. You know, the song and we're just watching these little monsters waiting for the reset the set. And while there's a whole crew there, that can tend to guess he's the one that comes out with blankets, he's making hot chocolate and bringing it to everybody. He's cracking jokes, he's telling stories and
I realized in that moment that he's living his dominant question, how do I make this moment? Even more magical and so my question for everybody who's listening is what do you think your dominant question is because when you ask it's going to change your mindset. When you asked it changes your purpose or her reasons for doing something and when you change your focus, it changes the way you feel. And when it changes your motivation, you do certain things that you wouldn't normally do. And another question to ask,
Buddy is what do you think your partner's question is, you know, and it would explain a lot of their behavior. Because if you ask that question, so many times you're going to see pug dogs, pug dogs, pug dogs as an example growing up as a kid, who is labeled the boy with the broken brain? For me, I was always like, why am I broken? You know, why am I not enough? And I would find evidence for it. Oh, it's because of this and this and this and this. And that didn't help me in any way shape, or form later on. I got sick and tired of asking that question similar to your
Your journey and I started asking a little bit of a better question. How do I fix this? You know, when you feel like you're broken, you're thinking, okay, how do I fix this? How do I fix this? How do I fix this? And so those questions really lead our light and one of the questions that would be supportive, when you're going through challenges is asking a question. Like training yourself, where's the gift in this? You know, when I had learning disabilities and I couldn't public speak, you know, I would think, where's the giftedness? And it's funny because I eventually came up with answers
Is because now, all I do is public speak on this thing called learning, right? You know, this personally, I mean I don't talk about it publicly, but for years, I had horrible horrible, sleep horrible, horrible sleep. And in realized that for five years, I was sleeping about 90 minutes a night. Maybe two hours. Wow, that's awful, and it wasn't even a solid 92, two hours. It was like interrupted where I later got diagnosed for really severe, sleep apnea, and
When I had that sleep apnea is a realized. The doctor said, no, wonder you're not sleeping. You're not breathing 214 times a night. You stop breathing for at least 10 seconds and it's like somebody 200 times a night is coming in and putting a pillow on your face because you have obstructive sleep apnea. And then so I had this very painful surgery all day. You triple P, they cut out my tongue, Souls my uvula, my soft palate, and let more air flow come in. But during that time of struggle, with my sleep, I would always say, where's the gift?
- because you have to find some kind of meaning otherwise you're going to be depressed all the time. Right. And what the gift was is it forced me to come up with these distinctions that I put in the book? It forced me to double down on all the things that I teach because I how can you be productive? How can you perform? Unless you have better methods, it also gave me a deep appreciation for my own time. Meaning when you are sleep deprived all the time, you feel exhausted, you don't over commit to things. Meaning that I think a lot of people are
Burnt out because they're saying, yes way too much, you know they're saying, yes because they're afraid of losing opportunity or they have fomo, right, this fear of missing out and their attention and their energy is so spread out. But for me when you have feel like you have a limited amount of time energy emotion temperament, you don't say? Yes, a lot. So everything. Even now, I still now that I'm sleeping, I still stick with that. To gift is iced, I have the ability to do what I do because I leaned into my skills that I teach, but also
I really treasure my time. I think part of self-care is remembering that when you say yes to somebody or something you're not saying no to yourself and a lot of people are just they're not putting borders and boundaries around the things that are important to them the things that they really value. And so right now, like I don't want to be anywhere else talking to anybody else. Like I've been looking forward to this conversation and it was like a hell yes, or hell. No kind of experience. Not because I'm so enlightened. And because I trained myself because I have lived
An amount of energy limited amount of time. And so you make wiser decisions. You only do the things that you feel you're completely aligned and integrated for
Jim, they're always so many practical. Takeaways from every episode that we do. These worksheets are going to be packed full, their stuff. We didn't even get to that. I'll probably throw in the worksheets as well. So thank you very much for coming on and I really appreciate it. I hope your book launch goes smoothly. Although we talked about that pre-show. It's a little tough right now and isolation and stay safe and stay sanitized. We'll talk soon,
Jordan's been a real pleasure and I'm really excited.
About this Limitless. My message for everybody here is or grossly underestimated your own ability and you feel like you're being held back. You know, most people could find the book right now, obviously online where books are sold and we did something very special for the book where week I want this to be the most read book, not the most black book, but I want people to, as a reading teacher to read it. So when people go to Limitless, book.com we created a speed reading, memory course there that we give to every single person as a thank you because I want you it's kind of like for people like audio books and videos
Rose. This is like book summary, if you will, that will inspire you and give you tools to be able to read the book and we're donating a hundred percent of the proceeds to build schools. We built schools everywhere from Guatemala to Kenya and also donating the rest to alzheimer's research in memory of my grandmother. So and I challenge everybody actually to take one step is to take a screenshot of this episode tag, Jordan tag, myself and share your big, aha. Because when you teach something you get to learn it twice. And if there was one takeaway or
One thing you're going to commit to, that's a small simple step as we talked about to share it on social media. I'll repost some of my favorites on Twitter and Instagram and so on. And I'll actually gift a free copy of the book to somebody as well.
Perfect gym. Again, thank you very much. Always a pleasure. Hope to see you in person at some point when the cloud clears here. Appreciate you.
Big, thank you to Jim quick. The book title is Limitless. A link to the book and the rest of gym stuff will be on our website in the show notes. If you do buy the book, please do use our website links, it does help support the show. Also in the show notes, there are worksheets for each episode especially here with Jim. There's always a lot of practicals you can review what you've learned here. Those are on the website and we've got transcripts for each episode. And those can be found in the show notes as well. I'm teaching you how to connect with great people and manage relationships using systems and tiny habits over it.
Six minute networking course, which is free over at Jordan. Harbinger.com course, the number one mistake. I see people make is putting this off and not digging the well before they get thirsty, build your network before you need it. Even if it means starting from what you think is from scratch, these drills take just a few minutes a day. I wish I knew this stuff. 20 years ago, you can find it all for free at Jordan. Harbinger.com course as I mentioned before, most of the guests on the show subscriber the course and newsletter, so come join us in you'll be in smart company in
Fact, why not reach out to Jim quick and tell him you enjoyed this episode of the show show guests. Love hearing from you. You never know what might shake out of that. Speaking of building relationships. I'm on social media at Jordan Harbinger on both Twitter and Instagram. This shows created an association with podcast one, and this episode was produced by Jen Harbinger and Jason defilippo engineered by Jason Anderson show notes and worksheets by Robert Fogerty music by Evan Viola. I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger, Our advice and opinions and those of our guests are their own and now I'm a lawyer but not your
Lawyer. So do your own research before implementing anything you hear on the show and remember we Rise by lifting others. The fee for the show is that you share it with friends when you find something useful or interesting if you know somebody who has trouble staying motivated or if you know somebody that thinks that motivation is the only thing they need and they're struggling with it. They're watching stupid, Instagram memes, all the time. Share this episode with them, this might be the missing piece or at least the pieces of the Limitless model. Might be the missing pieces. Hopefully, you find something great in every episode that we do. So please do share the
A show with the people you love in the meantime, dear best to apply what you hear on this show so you can live what you listen and we'll see you next time.
