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To recover faster train smarter optimize your performance with whoop. Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode daily still podcast. It struck me this morning. Just how long this quarantine has gone on, you know, what was going to be two weeks when into a month when in two months three months and we're well over a hundred days now and I've sort of almost lost track of some of these episodes we recorded by
No record a few of these and then we'll get back to normal get back to doing the video ones we're doing and you know, that's just not happened and I don't see it happening any time soon here in Texas. Although we had a pretty good month of May things seem to be going in the absolute wrong direction and you know people around here seem to be convinced that wearing a mask is an infringement of one's rights, which ironically only extends the
dangers of the pandemic and you know continues to not only put people at risk but forces more repressive measures to go into place. So I don't know what my point there is except. Please wear a mask. They've done some studies they found that if 80% of people wore masks that we're 60% effective essentially it would send the transmission rate to below one and the virus would very quickly die off. So if you go out which you shouldn't be doing if you can help it please wear.
Ask and my guest today Michael and Lauren Bostick you may know Lauren as the skinny confidential two great friends of mine. We did this interview not too long though. We had an awesome talk about quarantine. We had an awesome talk about being productive. We just had a great conversation and I was talking to Michael after we were talking about some business stuff last week actually had to hop on the phone to kick it around and we were talking about how much of a pain in the ass it is.
Now that everyone wants to do everything over zoom in and the zoom called takes forever. Whereas would have been an email before would have been a five minute phone call. So we talked about some of the technological drawbacks of this situation wherein we talk about parenting Lauren and Michael both recently had their first kid which ties in well to the still apparent challenge that we just launched. You can check out a daily Stoke.com parent Michael and Lauren live very different lives than my wife and
They travel all over the Glamorous. They stay in the fanciest hotels. There are obsessed with health and wellness, you know just different people but I think I like being friends with people who live different lives. They expose you to different things. They open your mind to different things and sometimes they you know, just teach you different things. So Lauren and Michael's podcast the skinny confidential him and her is awesome. Been more than 70 million deaf.
Downloads and has eight thousand five star reviews. Lauren is a big fan of the stove. So is Michael but Lauren posts a page from the daily stuff on a very regular basis and I can't like one of the things that I tend to use as sort of a rule of thumb of how much influence or reach someone has is how often it translates from the internet back to real life and the number of people that have come up to me over the years at book signings or after talks or whatever. That's that I heard about
From Lauren Bostick is a sign of her reach. So check her out. She's at the skinny confidential and then the podcast is at T SC podcast. And then Michael is at Michael Bostick of its BOS St. IC K and then you can check out the really cool podcast Network dear media Studio as well which hosts great shows with a number of friends of mine including Gabby Reece. So check out.
Out this interview with Michael pasta. So Laura, I'm curious and Michael to walk me through your guys's morning routine as far as sort of stoicism and self-care and all that goes. Well, how do you start the day
off especially in quarantine? I have to have a routine if I don't have a routine at it. I don't want to say it derails my whole day but it definitely is a different vibe. What I did is I went back to Tim Ferriss has tools of the Titans and I read through
We'll all these different successful people's routines and I sort of pulled from each one. So I pulled from Scott Adams. I pulled from James altucher. I don't know if I'm pronouncing his last name, right? How do you say his last name? I think it's all the jerk. Okay, and and then I implemented stoicism into that. So what I do is every morning I sort of created this one sheet for myself, which is like what I'm reading for the day what I'm listening to for the day like podcaster audible the
out that I'm doing and the music that I am listening to and then from there I list three Great Falls, which is like so cliche but it really does it really does help and then sort of a list of seven must dues like what I have to get done and then I have like a mantra that I write out and then I opened the daily stoic and I read whatever do you know day it is and take notes underneath it and I feel like just doing that exercise. It takes 10 minutes, but it makes such a big difference in the day.
Yeah, I mean for me the the routine somewhat changed now that we have a newborn because you never know what she needs and sure but I'd say, you know, primarily my morning, you know, I wake up you see there's a big Jew behind me actually come in here turned the Juve on get some red light especially because we're in quarantine and while I'm doing that I open actually open up the daily stoic. I've been doing this for four years. I've told you that before and I just go to the page of that day and I kind of use it as a mini Journal I read the page and then I kind of do a reflection exercise on, you know, just my thoughts on what
that's that entry said and what I'm in the place I'm at and what's interesting is to look back now for years because I've done it for four years and I can see like the place I was in four years ago compared to where I am on the same exact day four years later, which is interesting to see and then it's really like I need my mornings to spend a lot of time thinking I try not to jump into work right away. You know, I try to read something. It doesn't necessarily need to be the news or about work but just could be a biography could be history could be fiction. Just something to kind of take me out of the busyness that will be
Jay and then get some form of exercise and breath working and from there. Like I feel like I'm in a good headspace then to start tackling the most important tasks and get to work. But if I don't have that that first routine where I'm reflecting and thinking and taking time to stay calm the rest of the day is just completely fucked for me
the worst thing you can do and this is from someone who you know is maybe a little bit of a workaholic is wake up and check your phone it honestly like if I can
Give one tip to anyone. It's don't even look at your phone. The only thing I look at my phone for is to turn on a podcast or to turn on Audible in the morning probably until about 10 o'clock because you're just so reactive to everyone else's to-do list that it's not it's and you told you talked about this to you go on a walk like you do like some kind of light movement water stoicism journaling. It's just sets the whole tone of the day to do it that way instead of just staring at the
I mean
there's there's so much I want to unpack their one. I think it's interesting that people would think that given that your job is as an influencer that you run your life through your phone that it would be impossible not to check your phone in the morning. So, how do you how do you do that? Is that just a lie that people tell themselves?
Well, first of all, I think that it's expected for me to be on the phone which makes me a little resistant to it then just when I go to dinner with someone you won't see me too.
Ouch my phone not even for a second when I am with my husband on a date night. It's a way so I'm very cognitive about how often I use my phone when I am on my phone and I am working that's what I'm doing and I'm being incredibly productive, but when I'm away from my phone, I'm still I'm thoughtful. I'm learning through podcasts or audible. I'm very very careful also about being on the phone too much in front of our daughter. We started to notice. She's four months old. She can tell when we're on the phone.
Sure, so, you know, I just think that that if you're out there you're listening. I think it's important to monitor the monitor. How your on the phone do you wake up in the first thing you do is check your emails. I did that for eight years. I get it. It's just not a productive way to start the day in my opinion. You're really you're going off what everyone else needs you to do? I woke up for a long time. I would check my text messages. I started to realize this is giving me cortisol the second I wake up. I'm activating that stress hormone. This is
It's not a productive thing.
Yeah, I know. It's sort of starting the day from the back foot. Right? So you're either looking at the headlines whether it's the death count from the pandemic or it's something that Trump said or it's some random, you know text that your mom sent you or it's some crappy email from someone that works for you. I don't think you want to start the day reactive and to me there's like by an alarm clock like people go all I need my phone at because it's my alarm. It's like will keep your phone in the other room and don't do that and then
I think yeah. So for me, my rule is like 30 minutes. I don't touch it for a minimum of 30 minutes, but I've been amazed at how often 30 minutes turns into an hour two hours sometimes three or four hours and and like you said Michael the morning for me is the most productive time. Like what is it day look like for you where you fall into the bad habits where you go? Like if you don't get that morning time, how does that Ripple through your guys's day? Well I can speak on that pretty easily because I know she's gonna rip me up for it.
But you know, there's a story I want to tell before I do my dad told me and he's 75 now, but he was saying, you know back in the day. They all worked off fax machines. Like they didn't have your emails weren't coming in. You couldn't text someone right away and he said he would receive faxes and they would say like urgent ASAP like need response and have the stack of facts as you know, like the paper next to the a lot of young people don't know this but he said he would take that ASAP facts and he would go to the pile of the facts and you put at the very bottom of the pile and he would slowly as the days went on go through the other ones on top. He said by the time he got
Got to the bottom of the pile that urgent ASAP want it either had become irrelevant. It wasn't important or it's sorted itself. And if it really was that important somebody would have figured out a way to like make it in part and make it a priority. So like I think what happens in our in this I equate this to modern-day email and text all this stuff is you know, is it really that important? Is it really you know that urgent that you have to drop everything and jump into it right away and I think so many of us live in our inboxes now and it takes us out of time to reflect and to think and to plan and strategize
Eyes because like you said, we're constantly on our back foot trying to accommodate request of others in and what I always tell Lauren and people that I work with is I never want to be somebody else's to-do list. I never want to be jumping into somebody else's checklist and so many work and these task oriented jobs and we have this huge list and it might say email Michael this and that's fine if that's what they need to do. But that doesn't mean I need to drop everything that I'm doing and responsive that they can move on but their chest and so, you know, I try to think about that fax machine story.
And say like is this really that important to I really need to get to it, especially if it's going to take time away from my wife or my daughter which you know, in other podcast we say basically time is killing you and I know I'm not going to get this time back so that and when I and me, I'm definitely more guilty of this and Lauren especially in quarantine. I won't lie when I wake up and I jump into the phone and I'm either looking at the market or I'm looking at an email or in
China worst.
Yeah. I know but it completely derails my
Day, and I can't I constantly feel like I'm on I'm playing catch-up and I'm off my game. It's like I'm in there that I'm stressed about what I need to do for that person and then I got to take care of the baby and then my wife needs help and then I got to do a podcast and I just feel like I'm completely behind and I can't get organized and then what happens is the work suffers and then I suffer and then you know my health suffers and it's clear that it's a really heavy impact when you don't set the day up, right and you don't have that routine to really set yourself up for
success. I actually
I like I said for eight years I was I was the first person to check my phone and I micro dosed and I realized what I micro Jost that there was two things that were killing me and that was my text messages and my emails. I don't think when someone sends a text that they should expect a response back. I take sometimes two weeks to get back to someone on text. Sometimes I take a month and I know that sounds like crazy cuz you think Texas supposed to be
you know right away, but I don't think I want to live in a world where people think that they can just have immediate access to you right then and there so I've really restructured my thoughts about that the text message takes me longer and sometimes it's sometimes this is like very weird for me to say I just won't respond to an email that's like a big big deal for me and was the belly big Epiphany to be able to be like I can leave that and that's okay.
I love that Lauren and one of the rules I've tried to put in place in my life. I wonder what you guys think of this is
Things like email is for work text messages are for friends. So when people that I'm only have a sort of a professional relationship with they text me I actually have to deliberately not respond. And then I then I follow up over email and sometimes I have to be like, please don't text me like I don't want to say like you're not my friend, but I'm what I'm saying is like look, I don't want you to have direct access to my brain. It's okay if your if your things are going in this mailbox over here.
And I can I can get to that when I want to get to it. But what I can't give you is direct access to my brain and I think this goes to your point Michael about sort of setting the day up, right if you're not taking quiet time in the morning to think big picture to plan out what you want to do to be creative to make stuff. You got to ask yourself who's doing that it might maybe the answer to that is is the boss because you're a low-level employee or you're the janitor or something in which case
Means but like if the CEO or the founder of the company is not laying out the vision for where it's going to go who's doing that? Yeah. I just think like what I discovered was every time I started a day like that. I didn't want to say it was a terrible day, but I didn't get anything done and I looked on like what was the reason what was the end result? What was it? What do I have to show for the Dana's like? Oh shit. I just did like a bunch of to do stuff and I it goes back to that 80/20 thing and I realized that I was at like zero because it was just basically checking off other people's to do so.
So I really just tried to consciously say okay if I'm going to have an impact and create something and help move my organizations forward in my family for that. I have to take time in the morning to really plan and think and strategize like what makes sense for me to allocate my time to and what doesn't and if it doesn't, you know, I may be more brutal than Lauren like I'm definitely like I don't respond to emails that don't that I and not just to be rude, but I know that if I can't give a hundred percent to something then you know, I just I let it go because I also don't want to get into a relationship with somebody.
Like I started working or do something Michael and he just kind of like sure it's you know, we only have so much time and I think you know with technology. We think we can get it all done but really and run as you know, if you really want to have impact and have meaningful work. You have to take some time and really focus down on that one or two
things. And I also think that like going back to the morning routine a little bit. I made a conscious decision when this quarantine started to not use it as an excuse and I think that that means having a workout
every single day 7 days a week on my calendar. I think that means having two hours to write on my calendar. I think that that means not using outside circumstances and as an excuse for me to be lazy and I think when you kind of call yourself out on that, it makes a big difference.
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I'm curious speaking of that because I think you want to make sure you're not using it as an excuse to do things. You should be doing but then I'm also using it as an excuse to not do things. I shouldn't be doing. So so for instance like, you know, I don't know about you guys because everyone's home, you know, you're inundated with requests for podcast you're inundated request for. Hey, will you jump on this call? Let's have a conference call. It's do this thing. I'm trying to say like, hey, I've been given this gift of this time. I want to make sure I don't
Fill it up with a bunch of crap just because there isn't anything I'm supposed to be doing. And so how are you guys thinking as part of your business is flying around and visiting places and doing appearances and traveling and how are you now seeing is this going to change what you say? Yes to when options are back on the table.
It's funny because you actually taught me this and I can't remember which piece of work this was where you said that what gets
You off is not having anything on your calendar. Yes. Sure. What was
you? Yeah, I wrote a piece and I said I have calendar anorexia, which is very insensitive. But but totally it describes a perfectly
I really really I think it was an article about I think it was the can I pick your brain for coffee article? Yes, and you just wrote about how that having nothing on your calendar is what really makes you happy and I've realized that like that's having not a full day makes me happy too. So I
Really zoned in on trying to clear it up. I only do conference calls on Wednesday. That's it. If it doesn't work, I'll wait till the next Wednesday. I think that you know, just things like that make a big difference.
Yeah, I think from my perspective, you know, like more like on the business operation side, you know what I realized what's so important to me is time to sit and think and reflect and at for a while I felt like maybe a little guilty about it because you know, everybody's working so hard and I felt guilty taking the time to maybe stop a quote.
But working and going to like strategize mode in to think but I read this book blitzscaling with Reid Hoffman don't know if you've ever read it. There's some really think there's some parts that I don't know are so relevant but some that are that are very relevant in there's these chapters is like if you're working on something or you're leading an organization or building a business. It's not only important for you to take the time but it's crucial because you there needs to be somebody that's sitting back and strategizing and thinking and taking the time and what I've tried to do in this quarantine, I think we've gotten to a place where everyone you know, for whatever reason we've all just immediately adopted Zoom or on Zoom now, yeah,
Yeah, and everyone's doing Zoom meetings everyone's getting on and I've tried to stop and think like okay, I understand where new circumstances but are we just blindly saying? Yes and adopting things because it's the circumstances were all in and instead I question like is that Zoom meeting necessary do we need to do this? Is that is that obligation that we are committed to before something that we absolutely have to do. So this time is really giving me a chance to say. Okay. Did we need to go do those appearances? Should we do that podcast? And so it's what it's done is its forces to be a little bit more selective and a little
With more thoughtful about not only the planning process but our work process so in a way, I'm grateful for this time because without that I think we would just be doing the same thing over and over and over without the chance to sit down and
reflect. I think I think what makes me and Michael happy overall is something that you set on Gabby Reece has podcast and we've been talking about this a lot is autonomy. That's kind of like what we're working towards so in quarantine, like, how are we making steps and movements to sort of go towards that?
Yeah. I'm working on an article about this right now my definition of success.
Success is autonomy. If you don't have control over your life day to day. You're not powerful or free the irony is that oftentimes? It's the most powerful people who are the least free, right? It would suck to be the president or it would suck to be the CEO of an enormous company Jeff Bezos. It seems like he has a limited options, but in fact has the fewest options, right and so realizing that is really important and and how much discipline it takes.
Remember, I was reading a story about Sean Parker. Once the founder of Napster first investor in Facebook. He was he was saying that someone was saying about him and this is before he was a billionaire I guess but that they were waiting for a flight and he was like answering the emails making phone calls. He was working on something and they were like okay time to board the flight and he was like, I'm going to miss this one. I'm in like a rhythm right now. And I'm just I was like so blown away at the discipline that it would take to like deliberately not get on a plane because
as you were working on something really well and and like so maybe the cost of that was five hundred or a thousand dollars, but he was able to do the math and go it's worth more to me to keep doing what I'm doing then to do this other thing. I think oftentimes we can kind of get trapped by convenience or what seems most proper or whatever and and so you've got to protect that space to do a cal Newport calls deep work and it's really rare when you get in that Rhythm so you have to have the autonomy I think.
Able to go like yeah, I'm just not going to do that. I know you really want me to but I'm just not kind of yeah, and it rubs people the wrong way a lot of the time but as long as I understand it's not a personal thing. It's not something against them. It's that the fact that like, you know, you can't be effective if you don't do those things. Yeah. And then who are you punishing? If you do those things you're punishing your work you're punishing your business you're punishing your employees and I think most powerfully what you learn as soon as you have kids is like, oh I stole this time from my my five-month-old in your guys is case right like
like some like when I get on a conference call now and it's poorly organized or it's very clear that it didn't need to happen at all. I'm like viscerally Angry not at the other people so much but I'm angry at myself that I allowed myself to be bullied into something that a stronger no would have protected me and my family from this theft and that's really what it is. It's F that's so true.
There's so many conference calls. I get on I'm like angry at myself.
That's it's not even the other person.
Yeah crazy is like even in this time. What I've realized is, you know, you get in this office Rhythm and we're like, you know, there's all those memes like this meeting could have been an email and this email could have been a call I call that but we've kind of like societies kind of just doing the same thing. They're just turning it all into zooms. And so a lot of what I'm doing in my business is stepping back and talking with him saying like it doesn't need to be a zoom or call unless it absolutely needs to be unless there's a clear agenda. There's something we can all accomplished like it just doesn't need to happen and I think it's been interesting for me to see like
People just adopt the same behaviors that were maybe not so productive in the office outside of the office with this technology, like listen take some time reset like, you know use this time to strategize and actually have an impact as opposed to just filling time with useless meetings or new ones. I mean, like nobody was using Instagram live two months ago, and now everyone wants you to join their Instagram live, you know, and you're like, oh man and look I know some people were but what to me it's so transparent. It's like the world through a terrible.
Tragedy force you to be with your own thoughts and to make your own schedule for two months and instead of you saying here's what I'm going to get out of this time you tried you said I'm going to fill it with Instagram lives instead. You know what I mean? You're like you you you you're finding a way to be unproductive. Even when the world is demanding that you be productive. It's crazy and it's crazy. It's so crazy. I got this big sack right here, and it's just my it's
A stack of books and every time that I think like, you know, there's just a bunch of books in here. Oh, there's galleys from people or those books. You want to read it's just books. I want to read. Okay sure. And what I found is like I just filled this stacked with this all happens at okay, whenever it starts to be this crazy unproductive thing or something. That's I know is wasting time. Like I just go into this stack of books and that's what I try to use my time. You know, if I have nothing to do that's what I'm going to do. It's not going to be an Instagram live. It's not going to be video games. It's not going to be something that's unproductive. We something that's
actually it's not going to be checking your phone in the morning anymore after this one.
Is that the Andrew Roberts Napoleon biography behind you Michael? Yes. It's a great book. So it's great and I actually just had him on the podcast but like one of the things that I'm trying to use this time for I think it's another maybe it's a good place to sort of wrap this up is like not only how can you use this time to be productive, but how could you use this time to do things that ordinarily you wouldn't be able to do so reading a 700-page biography is tough to do when you have all these but it's easier to do when you're stuck.
Uh cat home when you can't go do other things and so that's something I'm trying to think about to it's like on the like when I go to the office and the office is usually empty because there's send all my employees home and stuff but it's like there's all these like administrative or easy tasks I could do and then in some ways those are more tempting, but I have to remind myself. I'm not going to get a quiet period like this to write very often you have you should always be trying to think about the things that only you can do right now.
Fill it with the easy, you know tempting thing to do right
now. That's so funny that you say that because Michael just showed me this video by Brian Tracy the other day on 80/20 and Michael. I feel like that's really relevant that whole message just about about doing that doing the things that you absolutely have to do instead of the tempting tasks that like you just want to cross off your to-do list to cross it off just doing the priorities especially right now.
Well, I'm sure many like pretty much all your list of most of your listeners know that
80/20 principle but it's just like I go back in and reinforce it sometimes because you know, basically the argument is that so many of us just get caught up in these to-do lists, these task-based things that really don't have any impact on the on the on the overall goal that you're trying to achieve and so, you know I have in the morning I didn't I didn't touch on this but now I started this experiment while in quarantine were basically I have 10 tasks on the list and I only highlight the top two that are the most important. I can't even learn other eight without but every morning between 9:00 and 10:00 in the
Morning, and not today cause you could podcast but the only thing I'm allowed to work on little I'm not allowed to look at email and online everything. It's just those two things and I want to in my experiment is I want to see if I dedicate, you know, seven hours a week every week to just those things. I'll share how much it'll impact and what it does is it takes me out of those other tasks based things that don't have impact and then I can get to those later if they're make sense. But I just think so many of us just get caught in these to-do lists. I don't keep saying that and it just it doesn't have an impact and so it's time to just sit back like what is
We important what's actually going to move the needle for me. Well, I'd so two things to bring to bring that to a close then related to where you're saying. Do you know about the Eisenhower decision Matrix? Maybe? Yeah, I would check I would check that out and list their should check it out to it. It's making the distinction between what's urgent and what's important in that often? What surgeon is not important and often what's important is not urgent. And so it's sort of breaking down. Where does this task fit in the thing and a lot of times people spend way too much time on what's both?
Urgent and not important and that decision that decision gives you or that distinction gives you a real clear list of priorities, but the other thing that I think about constantly Marcus Aurelius says like you should look at everyone's actions and ask is this essential and he says you have to start by asking that of your own and so I think that's a really good question. I feel like we really zoomed in on this podcast on that theme, which is just really looking at everything you're doing and saying is this essential do I need to do this? Can someone else do this?
This can it wait. Like is this essential? Is it the right time to do it? And then if if you're if that's your rubric you will make good decisions and you will not waste your time and your life. It's me. That's the way to think about it or not. Agree more awesome guys. Thank you so much for the best. We'll talk again soon. Thank
you. Thanks for having us on
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