What's happening people? Welcome back to the show. My guest today is me. I hit 2.25 million subscribers on YouTube and to celebrate I asked for questions from YouTube and Twitter and Instagram. So here is another 90 minutes of me trying to answer as many as possible. And as always there are some very insightful questions and some slightly uncomfortable ones about my single life my new project with Mike is ratelle and how I overcome insecurities.
Expect to learn what the future of Vlogs on the channel looks like what I think about clickbait on YouTube when the most challenging chapter in my life was what I'm currently saying no to what I'm looking forward to on my Australia tour how to break out of self-destructive habits, whether I'm scared of American wildlife and much more you might have seen that I recently went on tour in the UK Island by Canada and the US and the entire time for a full month. I didn't check a single bag in because hold luggage.
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You do not like it. They will give you your money back right now. You can get a 20% discount and see everything that I use and recommend by going to nematic.com Modern wisdom and using the code MW 20 at checkout. That's no Matic.com modern wisdom and MW 20 a check out. I've been loving my cold plunge and sauna from the team over at plunge. I literally use them every single week because the benefits of hot and cold contrast therapy make me feel fantastic. I have more energy during the day.
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me
What's happening people? Welcome
back to the show. It is a 2.25 million subscriber Q&A episode as you can tell I'm not in my usual recording setup. I'm here in Bozeman Montana. I wish that I could tell you that there's a beautiful Visser of sheep grazing and cows chilling out and Mountain.
Ins but it's a building site and there's some mountains in the distance. I've also had to Cobble together this by stealing an office chair from the conference room and a table from The Breakfast room in the Hilton here in Bozeman. So not going to be there when this goes live so what I want anyway, I ask the questions on Instagram and Twitter and YouTube community and we got tons. Lots of them are very similar the guys tried to compile them so that the chunked together and there are many
Let's get into it first off Quincy. Oh boy. Oh bang. Can you share a time when you realize that worrying less actually led to better results. I would struggle to think of a time when worrying more lead to better results. I understand that we can sometimes have this sort of implicit assumption that our performance is fueled by our worry somehow that it helps us to pay attention.
Even in ways it focuses us focuses our precision and ensures that things don't get missed but I am really struggling to think of a time when whirring led to better results can lead to small increases in performance but results probably include more than just what was the outcome. It's also what was the experience of doing it? Like, how did I appear and when you think about what how does whirring make you feel?
Comes to performing a trying to achieve results. You're all uptight this sort of very hard grippy. So tense sensation mentally in your body and even
Excel professional Excel people accountants and coders they will probably not want to grip tightly onto things. They will probably want to try and find flow I would imagine so I think finding ease and Grace is always going to be better than worrying your way through things. That being said, I'm patient zero for worrying an awful lot and one of the first times that I can think that I did it on the show as with Robert Greene, so I massively
him and he's this big intellectual Powerhouse and who the fuck am I I'm just some X club promoter and it was episode 30. I think it's a super early and I just over prepared and sort of thought myself into this awful like washing machine Cyclone of overthinking and it really wasn't it wasn't my best performance and I was really disappointed because I loved Robert now. I wanted to put on a good show for him, and I'm sure if you go back and listen to it you
We can't even notice but I know how good I could have been and that was exclusively due to worry. I was worried that I wasn't going to be good enough and I turned up on the episode and underperformed and then castigated myself for worrying so much that I'd caused myself to underperform and this is how you know bad spirals of performance The Yips or I don't know what you call it in America. Basically when someone a sportsman is having a bad run of form and they can't get themselves out of it. That is this.
It is worried. But getting more worried leading to poor performance. I don't think that whirring helps and I messed up in front of Robert Greene Kevin Artois. My insecurities being inferior and incompetent is my greatest source of fuel is this toxic?
That is a very good question. And I think that it is very powerful at giving you activation energy to get started at doing something and I think that that should not be overlooked or undervalued. I think that there is great benefit to be had if you are stuck in region beta some Comfortably Numb floating through life existence and you need a match stick.
Lighting underneath your asshole so that you actually go out and do something this fear of being inferior and incompetent is insecurity that you have using that as fuel just use what you have if you've got resentment and bitterness and shame use it because that it is so hard going from zero to one so difficult, but once you've started moving you can use other sources of fuel. It's kind of like when you think about a booster rocket taking off and they have
Multiple ejectable fuel sources as they go and they use different fuel sources at different stages as they go up through the launch sequence. I think it's kind of like that where it does get toxic is when you use it for a long time. And the reason for that in my opinion is that it makes you very easy to manipulate very predictable. It makes you over index on the opinions of other people on the way that your performance
Has shown up in comparison with others as opposed to it being yourself. It's a very externalized locus of control seeking a lot of validation from the world as opposed to from how you've performed yourself. And the reason it makes you fragile makes you fragile and the easy to manipulate in and easy to predict thing is just that everybody is always going to know this isn't to say you don't need an enemy who's like trying to snipe you with your particular weakness for this to be a problem, but you are always
Is going to encounter the same problems and that often going to come from overly relying on the opinions of other people from trying to compete where you don't necessarily need to from never patting yourself on the back or feeling like you've done a good job because you've got this insecurity of incompetence, which means you're always looking for the incompetence not the competence and I'm saying this as someone who, you know a big insecurity of being inferior and incompetent, that's that's played a role in my life. So use it.
In the beginning but realize that it is not there to stay. It had a role the same as the chip on your shoulder from the kids that believe you in school or whatever it is. It's useful to get you started but it's don't keep using it long term. That would be my advice Colby thickness see 828, will you do
An honorary schooi on stage in Australia for the people lug. I am a visitor to your great nation, which we used to own and I will appropriate your culture as required. Who am I to say? No to the Australian people in their favorite Pursuit for the people that don't know. I'm doing a live show. I'm doing a series of live shows a live tour in Australia can check out the dates and the shows going to Brisbane and Melbourne and Sydney and you get tickets for that at Kris Williams.
Indot Live / Australia and I will do a schooi I would quite like to do one of me tonic because the new America flavors are amazing, but it's going to be 10 p.m. At night when I finish the show or 11 p.m. So maybe not D CX 1. Please quickly revisit some techniques for coming out of Monk mode after power housing work for a year. It's time to reintegrate back into society any tips.
Great question. So I did a big chunk about monk mode a few.
Cuban days ago, and for the people for quick recap monk mode is a focus period of isolation introspection and Improvement often a lot of going to the gym reading mindfulness, maybe some therapy and it's just you really dialing in just on yourself without distractions of the social calendar without having to adhere to expectations of other people all that much and one of the problems with monk mode is that it allows people.
people who are a little bit more introverted by nature to feel Noble in their isolation and this can be very tempting because it has turned what previously you may have seen as something that you're a little bit ashamed of or something that you needed to work on your desire to not go out and see people at spend so much time outside of the house with others into a personal development strategy and this can create a feedback loop where after a while monk mode becomes so addicting it's hard to get out of it the
Monk mode is to do a focus period isolation introspection in Improvement so that you then become a functional more functional more competent member of society not so you just do monk mode to be better at monk mode and reintegrating is difficult. So tips to reintegrate back in and this would be the same. I mean we could have done this after covid, but I would say first off go to places where there are the purpose of the event or the pursuit has a social dynamic.
Baked into it. So I'm thinking CrossFit class improv salsa dancing pickleball any group type activity ideally co-ed because you're going to need to speak to both men and women and if you do it in a low stakes environment where you're not asking for the number, they just need you to kick the ball in their direction or whatever it is that you're doing. That's good. And I think it it helps to kind of
create a frame and a vessel within which you can do your oh I Hello. Nice to meet you. My name is DC x 1. I would like to be front. You know, it's just way easier. It's less of a big deal second thing. I would when you start to move into one-on-ones with people spending time with friends are going out on dates. I would purposefully start with people that make it feel as easy as possible to be yourself around them I think about
Reintegrating socially is kind of like having a perfect garden of snow in some snow has fallen over night you come out on the morning and there's no track marks in it at all. You all must have a very pure unmolested environment for you to begin your social your new social habits. So maybe some of the more suboptimal social habits that you had before you'll have been able to get rid of a little bit. You can kind of start afresh. It's like
Shaking the Etch-a-Sketch because some of the habits have dropped away because you simply haven't been that social. So the problem is if you begin to spend time around people who don't you don't feel comfortable being yourself around the issue with that is that those may become your new habits and I think that habit setting is greatest in the beginning. So I think you want to find time around who are the people that I want to be like people that are honest and truthful and comfortable in their own skin. They've got a mission they know where they're going. They're having fun while they're going there the thought you know, those are the things be around the
People that you want to be like and that you can be yourself around to which is a nice balance. And I think that's it groups group activities were socializing is built in and then when you move on to one-on-ones be with people were silenced and being yourself feels comfortable. I think it'll help MJ. Bilang three are how would you describe your most challenging chapter? How was it an inflection point for growth?
So I had one that I saw I've often talked about which was the end of my 20s. I had tons. I'm very very good at making a big deal out of everything for myself.
The last 18 months has probably been
close to it. It's definitely going to rank in my top three and that's been because of a lot of increase in attention and opportunity and offers and a change in the way that you know, the world sees me in some ways. She's so fucking wonky to say like how up here on asked you need to be to say that but the people treat seem to treat me a little bit differently than they used to and that's been a that coupled with a ton of attention.
And offers and it's all very flattering and charming and all the rest of it. It's just been it's been difficult and that lay it on top with the show 10 Xing in two years, which is what it did follow up is continuing to do has just resulted in an awful lot of work and operational fuckery. I don't really talk about this all that much because I feel like showing how the sausage gets made is kind of uncool.
So but behind the scenes lots and lots of changes and team growth and you know, I moved out to Austin and had a Mormon assistant in the UK and Dean and now there's all of these people and there's Steals and there's a new Chinese there's energy drink and there's all this other stuff going on and have to spin these plague live shows book deal Partners big episode Brett Cooper's coming through. Jordan Pederson will be in town. It's been a lot and it's been an inflection point for growth because it's
really shown me that during the period of time or have achieved a greater success that I've ever had. There's been things that I've been missing and it's reminded me. I think it's resented me on what it is that I want which is not just success and and growth at any cost. It's to enjoy the process and this is why I'm kind of in this like super cook mode fucking will bury in maxing thing where I'm trying to find.
In a way to transcend and include my desire to do well and also enjoy the process. So that's why I'm talking about that a lot at the moment because it's sort of personal to me. So yeah leaving Club promo and then the last 18 months or so of the show more Ray. Are you gay
I think that Ben has put these together in a particular order. No, I'm not unless it is for my kids ratelle. He's the only man that I will be gay for the only do I know that has a foreskin imagine that he's like a shiny charizard. It's like the rarest of them all.
Divvy, boy. Where do you record? Why do you record your podcasts while standing don't you get tired in the long ones? Hmm, not really for the people that don't know all of my virtual studios for probably four years now have been at a standing desk. I don't feel that much more tired. I actually feel more focused. I'm sat in this seat at the moment, which I've stolen from the conference room down the hall. I don't like it. I don't like
like sitting down and I was shifting around a bit of a fidgety person when I'm trying to think I often liked Wallop head in my hands. You have seen this on the episodes pouch six. I'll be twirling a pain between my fingers. I don't get tired. I think if you have tried to do content creation and struggled because of focus or just feeling a little bit inside up it up in your own head by standing desk pivot to that made a massive difference to me because any of the
sort of additional
discomfort that I needed to blow off or any of the energy that I needed to get rid of super easy when you're standing up super easy Luke JN 18. Do you think a buzz cut is a sign of confidence? Yeah in some ways definitely is on a woman.
It's a sign of confidence in your hairline. There's no hiding it if this suckers moving back there is absolutely no hiding. I'm getting to the age now 36 were some of my friends are really starting to go thin on top. Not you know, oh that's a little bit wispier than it was last year. But real receding thing like that's gonna have to come off within five years or you're gonna look really really silly. So yeah, I do think it's a sign of confidence. I'm very Pro buzzcut. I went through every hairstyle in history out.
A huge afro for all my club promoting career and then 2425 got rid of it and had sort of curly hair on top until covid go back. Let's look at the First episodes. I've got tons of hair and very Pro buzz cut Kevin dice. Congratulations. Thank you. Now that you've become firmly lumped into the manosphere category. Are you anticipating a coordinated attack on your show / self by the same mainstream media types who tried to cut down Andrew hubermann?
Yeah, I think it's in the post. It's in the post for everybody. It doesn't matter who you are whether you're Rogan or J Shetty or true Geordie or Andrew huberman or you know, Andrew Schultz, like everybody's got it coming and
The way that I see it more and more now is that mainstream media is struggling for clicks Independent Media is swimming in clicks. One of the ways that mainstream media can close some of that back is by making their content about our content or about us. So it is a wonderful way for people who are in a dying boring lame industry to try and capture some more attention. So yeah, you know, I'm not
Looking forward to it. I don't have a PR crisis team. If you do PR and crisis and you want to just be my ejector seat button in case I need to call you then feel free to reach out but it'll happen. It'll happen at some point. And I guess I'll see what I'm made of when it does and I've got Andrew humans number so I can just ring him and ask him what he did d e ven Devin are you and Mike is retail related you all.
Like LMAO, what do you mean you all me and Mike? Are you lumping Us in with some broader group of people we both have four skins very which so there's one thing that we have in common beyond that. I don't think that you could have found two more dissimilar looking people if you tried.
Mike has a uniquely shaped head which I love.
But you need to have a very serious.
Mental health condition to think that we look even remotely similar.
Unless this is a your white boys all look the same thing in which case? Yeah, we do Andrea Todd five two nine five question. This is probably a really stupid question. I live in the UK Manchester and whenever I come across a Brit who was moved to America. My first thought is how does their Wildlife affect your mental state and well-being. I would always be paranoid about snakes and spiders are being followed home by an alligator. So my question is do you ever think about
When you're putting on shoes or walking past a lake, that is the most Charming.
Question that I think I've ever had. That is so lovely. No, I haven't thought that I guess Texas has got some snakes. But you know, if you're living in a suburban area yet. What you really should be worried about is if you go to somewhere like a Tennessee and you're in the Smoky Mountains and you're in the suburbs and there's Bears black bears will come through and stuff. But no I haven't
I'm Blown Away by just having like Charming that that question was no I haven't maybe I should what if I get followed home by an alligator my God, but no I that's not something that I've been worried about.
Chotu only Leto Tony Lee. How long did it take you before you started earning money from your online business, I guess that you mean the podcast because new tonic is just a big laundry machine when money goes in and cans come out but just more cans come out no money ever comes out of it so gonna guess you mean the show it was your for the start of your fault. We're going six and a half years and the first three
We made no money at all. So I mean we generated Revenue but it was less than the costs that we had. So we were - I think typically the way that it seems is that most podcasts around about episode 150 start making money and you can get through three week in a year or you can get through one a week in three years. But unless you have you know, an existing big platform or you're super talented in the beginning which
I certainly wasn't it's going to take a little while. So yeah, I you know, it may look all glamorous from the outside. But this was a long slog of absolutely nothing happening for a very long time, especially from a money perspective char-char. Boom 5 have your looks ever gotten in the way of anything you wanted to do in life or has it all been beneficial. Have you ever used your looks to benefit yourself in a knowingly unscrupulous manner?
Oh, well, it's a very difficult question to answer because no one wants to hear a moderately. All right, looking person talk about the downsides of being moderately. All right looking and also I've been thinking about this recently. I feel an unbelievably bad Niche. I'm nowhere near smart enough to be a smart person smart person and I'm not good-looking enough to be a good-looking person's good-looking person.
So I'm like the smart persons handsome guy or the good-looking person's smart dude, which I think might be the worst position to be in but there are assumptions and ideas that people have about what you've got to add and your worth and all the rest of it. I would be lying if I said that the way that I look hasn't been a benefit to me, you know, I can fucking flutter my eyelashes and
Some server will be fine it giving us a table or tried to turn on the charm. Unfortunately, the guy wasn't gay today. Maybe if it was my kids retail. It would have been fine tried to turn on the charm, but I managed to just like sneak this table out.
It gets in the way. It does get in the way sometimes but the benefits far exceed the challenges and you know, this is the rich guy talking about how painful it is to manage his money. I can't really say that have you ever used my luck's to benefit myself in a knowingly unscrupulous manner. So this is me being in this sort of perfect Goldilocks zone of handsome enough to not get the benefit of being ugly. But no one near handsome enough to actually be able to achieve anything like that drastic. I think the most I ever got paid.
Remodeling was like 55 grand for a shoot which is piddling numbers compared with most other models and my average day. Right? I think was about 200 pounds or 250 quid that five grand thing was a one-off and it was the only time I ever did it now I try and get
Into the front of queues with things I you know put a little smize on and like this disgusting. I'd probably feel sick. If I saw myself doing this like trying to get the air hostess to like give me an extra set of biscuits or something like that. Like you're flirting with someone's grandmother grow up but it works and here I am one Lotus bisque off better off because of my looks that's it Matt Suds in ski
How did you know you were providing valuable content to your viewers when starting out because it was valuable to me.
And I have always been the target audience for the show. It's never been for anybody else. It's always just been for me and when I start to forget that when I do forget that when I get distracted when I start to think about what you guys want, I don't know who you are. I've met an increasing number of you at the live shows and I've heard from tens of thousands of you over email and DM and stuff, but
but
I can only ever do the show for me. And if I find it valuable myself I can be confident in knowing that there is some good majority of people that will also find it valuable to so it's just been if it's valuable to me, but probably be valuable to someone else as well.
Jack car Arias 1:00 or casually dressed and this is a good question. I'm a big fan of Funeral For A Friend. They were the one of the first bands I ever got to see life. I think there might be from Middlesbrough which is where I'm from casually dressed & deep in conversation is a phenomenal album God 2003.
Maybe Ilia, maybe Elliott's maybe 2002 2003 2004 fantastic that but ours is also great.
Dragged feet loving the new Vlogs. Thank you. What's your plan with those going forward?
Don't have a plan quite bad having a plan don't have a plan. Just keep doing them. I do not feel comfortable doing Vlogs. Certainly not the face to camera style thing. I'm much more comfortable with a structured conversation about a topic as opposed to free-flowing and I think a big part of it is fear that I'm not that interesting when I'm not adding purposely trying to add value through coming up with ideas or
or making dick jokes or something. So
but you guys seem to love it, which is really lovely actually and the comments on the blogs are very very heartfelt and I like it. So just keep doing them Max the dude that we got that is doing the filmmaking for it is just so great. I want you to work with him from before the time that I moved to Austin. I feel so grateful that I managed to get the guy that I wanted. I love shooting style. It's a simple strip back, but it's still beautiful. So just keep doing it. Keep doing the same.
Definitely more training series will be doing something with sebum will be doing something with George Heaton will be doing something with ha. Mosey will be doing maybe something with huberman kind of tempted to just do them all in the gym. So that makes it easier but then that's also not that varied. So I'm open to ideas ideas. Let me know if you want to see 50 60 TT. You said you're creating a product with Mike is retail. Can you tell us any more love the episodes you do too?
Together. Thank you.
Oh, I want to tell you so bad. But no I you'll it'll be done before the end of the year and I was excited for new tonic but this is so good. It's
beyond world's changing what we're trying to do and it may fall flat on its face and it may be a colossal waste of time and money and effort but it's a big swing for the fences and it's just going to be so cool. So I can't wait. I cannot wait to release this Mike. How can I say this was a fucking giving away what it is Mike rang me after the weekend where he had used the thing that we are developing and could not shut up talk.
About how amazing it is and he is not an easy man to impress ask his wife Mama's 777 sometimes your titles Verge on being more click Beatty than I'd like, I know there's way worse culprits than you but I hope you consider rectifying this as the show grows more. I appreciate the input. It's something that we work hard on all the time to find this balance. I agree. I think that there are
Our way way worst culprits, you know, there are many many many circles of hell of Click bait that you can go through but when the rest of the market moves in that direction, it is very hard to fight for clicks and eyeballs. If you remain more standoffish, but one of the things and the strategists the guys Chase and Luke and Jodi the guys that do strategy and copywriting for me.
They if I let them loose and said, oh you've got free rein you can do whatever you want. Everything would look so much different and often they have to sacrifice performance because I'm saying sorry. I don't feel happy with that wording. It feels too outrageous and click Beatty. So yeah, we're just I am making a purposeful effort to be more positive in the titles, you know, a lot of the conversations are easy to frame as the problem with modern feminism. Why does no one trusts them?
You are anymore, you know, but they're just so - and even if they described the episode correctly the episode often has a positive skew on it. So we're really working hard to try and come up with a way to drive clicks be positive and also sort of maintain that level of intellectual respect I think for you guys my point being if you just fucking clicked on the videos more
I wouldn't need to do anything fancy, but the thumbnails are the titles so really your fault but I appreciate the question and I think that you are right and it is also something that we are working on and rearm you when you put your shoes and socks on do you put both socks on first followed by both shoes, or do you put one sock on then one shoe then the next sock and then the next shoe.
I don't know anybody that does the second thing.
And I'm pretty sure that's like an early signing of having a stroke.
Oh being a war criminal something. If you do that other one, it's got to be who the fuck puts one sock on and then one shoe and then the next sorry, so you've got one shoe and sock on with a Barefoot on the other side. No, thank you. Moving on Tim D Simon's. Hi Chris. You've spoken recently about going through a tough time. How you doing? Thank you. Ah, yes. I've been having spoken about this.
Yeah, yeah will release a vlog actually maybe an accompanying podcast about it some health bets that I've been grappling with. I was a hot mess like a real hot mess at the start of this year and I'll explain more when I do that bit probably but I'm getting better which is nice and it's wild to have capacity taken away from you through you know.
No choice of your own very very brutal. And if you're someone that relies a lot on your mind to get you out of difficult situations, and then the very thing you have your mental capacity is one of the things that kind of gets hit it is ruthless who feels so unfair and so vicious but I'm alright. I'm good. This traveling around is just been so great. I've been with George now for you know, basically two months. He was in Austin for a month, and we've been traveling
And for what will become a month at the end of next week and we went to Lake Norman drove through Gatlinburg. And then did the Fourth of July Nashville. Then we flew to New Orleans and now we're in Bozeman and we're seeing ludicrous at the county fair fucking Ludo was seeing him at the county fair. So it's this is just been exactly what I needed. So I'm glad that I'm able to step in and adjust life like this and I'm very fortunate to be able to do this. So yeah getting that
be good under this year. I'll be good.
Val on K. Where is that shoulder bag from that you wear in the recent blog that would be it's over there. It's a non it bag. I think it's a on it bum bag like you call it fanny pack in America and Sky, my ads guy gave it to me. They don't make them anymore. I'm sorry, but
No, Matic make a travel sling which is really awesome. It's in black green and blue. I've got it in all three colors. That's great. It doesn't fit an everyday carry in though, but that fits a handgun in no Mattox. I don't think does but it will fit a Kindle Oasis in just so it's a good replacement become your own best friend. How do you keep track of all the quotes you share your evil to you're able to access them easily it is.
Apple notes me and George and Yusef and a bunch of other friends searched and searched for yours trying to work out. What is the solution? Is it Evernote? Is it notion? Is it Ulysses is it we're trying to find the Holy Grail of note taking apps and it was staring Us in the face the whole time. I'm looking now. I've got 3103 notes that I've accumulated.
All in here, and the reason I'm able to access them easily. It's just because of global search so they're not particularly well.
Chunked into folders, they're not that well formatted, but I can usually pick one word that I need out of a quote or out of a note are out of an episode set of notes that I've done previously or whatever it is, and that one word will usually just bring it up. They need a slightly more powerful Global search now, especially when you're getting into the 3000's for notes, but that's it Chris Carmen five what t-shirts do you were they look crisp clean and simple. Thanks in advance. Thank you.
You for the compliment on my t-shirt. So this is I think what you're going to be talking about and this is a Zara fuck. I'll just load it up. Give me a second Zara men's basic basic t-shirt.
I can true Classics trying to Ping Zara by.
Jumping on okay, so it's not the boxy fit t-shirt basic slim fit t-shirt Zara.
Make sure yeah, Zara basic slim fit t-shirt and eyewear and Excel.
Fuckin, I think our an exile and it comes in a ton of colors. It's great. It's what everyone for a very long time highly highly recommended. I can't give you a basic slim fit t-shirt. It's $19 and they last forever. So go and get 1000 and Zara sponsor me at least Xin. Jie. Jie. Nice. Are you going to do butt stuff on Thursday with me?
This is one of the girls from Barry's Bootcamp in Austin that message has come from Instagram. So if you want to go and check out what she looks like gentlemen do your worst. I do a sand dabs on a Thursday consistently and that's why are you going to do butt stuff on Thursday with me was a question. I do hope that you know what you've just done to your Instagram though. The fact that you asked that question and put your handle out there.
Godspeed m'lady
Chris lipolycide oven. Hi, Chris. Do you get a sense of Pride when an interviewee says that's a great question or I hadn't thought about it in that way before I think part of the reason your body has to seen so much growth is your ability to communicate so well awesome work doing the thing. Thank you. Yeah, I'd be lying. If I said there wasn't a big flood of dopamine when someone that you respect.
Compliments you on the thing that you do, you know, I'm I made a career out of being the most stupid person in the room of every conversation. They are an expert and I am an avatar for
A curious person. So if I come up with something which is genuinely novel or interesting to them. That's cool. One way that that can be a little bit more dangerous is that you can actually start chasing that and you can just as opposed to being nice and succinct. You can always try and wow the guests with some cool story or whatever and a lot of the time that gets in the way like they're the talent. I'm not the talent for most of the episodes today. I'm the talent fuck. Yeah Chris Williamson show
But most of the time I'm not the talent they are right and my goal has always been find a person that I think has something interesting to say and get the best Insight out of them by creating this.
Environment is petri dish that they can live in which is easy and comfortable and safe and flowing and enjoyable and all of the things that you need to just set them up. So but yeah, I like it. It's it's nice.
Ignacio wearing new absolutely fumbling the bag on names today congrats. How does the medium alter the conversation you would otherwise have with the gas without the mics or camera on do you always feel present in the conversation or does it sometimes become a struggle? Do you ever crave raw conversation with the guests without the Mike's awesome inside? Yes, correct. Unfortunately, the really really big episodes that we did.
See the video wall stuff at that helped because unfortunately that helped because it was immersive and as we move from conversation to conversation, you actually felt like you'd changed some of the big shoots that I do can feel daunting and take me out of the moment a little bit. You know, I'm looking here. I'm always on the left so I can always see panning out to my right just you know, like 20 people. I know what any of them.
Do except for my guys and there are noting things down and changing cards or checking on lighting levels and stuff and it is a bit, you know, it's not the most intimate but first off I've been getting better at that. Secondly when framed correctly that can make it feel like more of an occasion. So you're like, oh I gotta get my game face on stop messing about this is a really need to lock in which is good and
Yeah, I am fortunate enough to be able to message most of the guys if I need to have a real conversation without the mics on and I think the goal is to get.
The conversation in front of the mic to the level of ease that it would be without and continuing to chase that is a almost limiting the amount of conversations that you have outside of that. For instance. I think humans going to come back on within the next month or so. I don't want to have a conversation with him for that long before we get started because sometimes you sort of blow your load on interesting shit that you've both seen. I know that the my first million pod Sean and Sam
Their producer doesn't let them speak when they get on the call. So he's in control of muting the mics and he mute both of the mic so that they can't do exactly that and front run any of the things that they want to talk about. So, yeah, sometimes it feels a little bit.
How do you say you know that having a conversation that's being recorded. That being said I have enough conversations over dinner to last me a lifetime about interesting stuff. That's raw and would totally get everybody cancelled. So her right Quincy. Oh bang how do you distinguish between necessary and unnecessary worries in your daily life kind of going back to the first question here that I don't know.
necessary worries
I think it's just because of where I'm at at the moment. I just I really don't like the idea going to give myself a little bit more light. I really don't like the idea of necessary worries. I don't know what that means. What would a necessary Worry Be?
It's an interesting question. Um
Maybe it's because as a perennial.
whirring necessity ER
I crave to be able to relinquish that and for me any opportunity to dial that back sounds very attractive.
I would say if you're the sort of person that asks that question how do you distinguish between necessary and unnecessary worries in your daily life?
Treating even if this isn't true factually, it's true functionally treating all of your worries as a necessary is probably a good place to start and then just try and let go up as much as you can from that call Cambro. What are you regularly saying? No to that lets you say yes to the most important things. Well, this is kind of that toughest period thing and also the lady in the red dress idea that hormones. He's got the basically
As you become more successful the things that you need to say no to are things that 18 months ago. You would have begged to have had the opportunity to say yes to which is hard especially if you're a people pleaser, especially if you've got a bit of imposter syndrome, so I'm regularly saying no to Cole's that don't have a defined outcome in them exploratory stuff in the beginning Partnerships with people who I
can't see how this is going to work in the immediate term within the next six months also not doing any guesting haven't done.
Am I right in saying the only show I've done this your is Rogan's?
And I think I maybe did five the year before so I'm I'm saying no to a lot of that because there is just so much on my plate. It's disgusting and woe is me busy fucking busy guy, but this is what awaits you if you want to.
Achieve any amount of Micro Niche influence of Fame what awaits you is a fuck ton of emails and slack messages. So get ready for that. I need some more water waiter. What back in the room Luke T bets. When are we sniffing Vapes? Next? Fantastic? Luke is my tour manager. Also my book agent also in our new tonic and the thing with Mike whenever you want me to probably after the final show in Australia, we can go and sniff Vapes.
Lexi Joe 09 from what you know / here do man want to be approached by women at the gym.
Lexi let me try and explain a man psychology to you for a moment. Let me mansplain a man psychology.
Yes, always without question by any woman with a pulse.
Permanently yes or yes, every man wants to be approached by a woman at the gym guys that are in relationships guys have got gluten intolerance guys that can't bench properly all of them. Would love a little bit of female attention in the gym.
Heidi has surrendered. What degree did you do at University? I did two degrees. I did a master's in international marketing and a bachelor's in business management, and I can't remember either of them and I was always reticent about doing a set of degrees that I didn't think.
Really fulfilled me all that much. I wasn't I fell out of love with Academia within six months of being at University. I was totally disenchanted with it, but just knew that I was good at
handing things in just about on time with a passable. I could play the game of Academia. I knew what the mark the markers with the fucking called assesses teachers lecturers Shooters what they wanted and I was able to submit things that got me good grades, but I didn't learn anything and I always regretted the fact that I didn't do psychology or philosophy or something that would have loved more and then I start the podcast and now there's 800 and whatever modules of some of the
Best lecturers on the planet, so I didn't need to Lyric ever lie. Lie Rees Valley present status of your aspiring trophy husband goals are aspiring I guess husband in Trophy husband in training as per or whatever. I'm not even in training I mean
Bozeman in but present status is in Bozeman.
Nick Lachey, when did it occur to you that you were good at asking questions are I don't
No, actually, I guess probably your three of doing the show. I was often told as a kid that I was kind of.
Gobby loudmouth teach. You could always pick up my voice from the fucking back of the room. It annoyed me so much these like really naughty kids like actually naughty kids but their voice didn't carry as far as mine and my mind did so I would always be the one that got shouted at which was really irritating to me and I think I internalized the lesson about being
talking too much and not being sufficiently thoughtful in conversation, maybe because of that so getting to
start to do the show.
And focusing on questions really really focusing on questions was just such a great training ground for me and it was a really big confidence Builder.
That picked up rapidly super rapidly. So I'm I'm very glad for it. But it took a while I didn't step into this. I thought it was terrible asking question and he was curious but I didn't think conversationally that was good at doing it mad who Mohan Reddy how to get a well defined and chiseled face. What's your routine? I don't know what a face routine would look like.
When it comes to the defined and chiseled think my skin routine is essentially non-existent.
And my face routine is actually non-existent. So I think it's just genetics and body fat and I think if you want a more chiseled face lose body fat and if you get down to single digits, and you still don't have a chiseled face blame your parents.
MH H M5 CV potential partner question mark what's the holdup are give me a break me. I just got out of a relationship what I mean the holdup is that the The Break-Up is the holder of the breakup was the holdup.
I don't know how to answer that like I should just be immediately finding chicks everywhere on the market. Maybe I'll find one in Bozeman. Maybe there's a lovely farm girl waiting for me here in Bozeman Andrew. Barrett sheds 9555. Hey, Chris congrats. Thank you. Here's my question. I personally feel I'm unable to celebrate my wins in life as soon as I accomplish a goal.
Goal after toiling on it for a while. My brain automatically jumps to the next problem to solve all the next goal. I know the key to all this is to reward myself in some shape or form yet. I cannot find anything that feels like a good enough recompense anything I gift myself my hard work seems minuscule the extremely short-lived when compared to the effort. I put in to achieve Victory so much so that the positive feelings are get out of it are almost negligible and I might as well have not rewarded myself at all. Is there an antidote to that? How do you reward?
Old yourself the accomplishment in a way that recharges you for the next tasks ahead. First off. I need to compliment you on that question because that is a phenomenal question. And I think it's sees the challenge that many people.
Who demand a lot of themselves? I'm sorry. I've been on a flight all day. So if you're an hour and and thinking why does Chris sound like he's been deepthroating a guy with glass for a dick gay again. It was my kids ratelle had a foreskin it's because I've been on a flight all day and I had five hours sleep. So here we are and I had a Starbucks.
egg sausage Bap thing
and one Lotus bisque off or a flooded my eyelashes at the house that so
very good question. How do you reward yourself for your accomplishments in a way that recharges you for the next tasks ahead. How do you not look over the shoulder of the present moment, too?
Forget the thing that you've just achieved despite the fact that what you were working toward was the achievement for a very long time and continue to sort of demand so much of yourself that you don't ever actually get to enjoy the accomplishments. This is a big problem for many high performance most. I don't know many people who are
Perform well in life that don't have this challenge I can give you all of the pithy hard things are hard. That's why they're hard Alex hormones. He quotes or shit that I've come up with but trying to get a bit more tactical because I think that would be more useful.
Celebrating wins with other people seems too.
Break this pattern quite well, so one of the things that we're trying to do with the show as we hit different Milestones 1 million 2 million at cetera is to go on little trips to have a call with Dean to you know, do something that instantiates the occasion and I think doing it with other people also telling other people as well telling the people around you in your life. This is something I want to work on. I want to be more grateful and sink into my
victories as much as I can.
Will you help me? I mean, what a great gift to give your friends to say, I'll I like give you the money or I'll come up with the thing like just tag along tag along and tell me well done. I think that
It sounds contrived it. Sounds like oh, but you've planned it and you know, you're telling your friends to come along and you know, do they really want to be there as you congratulate yourself. Yeah, they do your friends do want to be there at each different one of your wins in life. And if they don't they're not your friends and they can go fuck themselves good friends will always be there to say dude so fucking happy for you with that.
Job, raise that Korea change that new house that whatever it is that you're doing body fat percentage. You've got to they'll be there. So using experiences and celebrating winds, especially with other people seems to go very well rewarding yourself in a way that recharges you for the tasks ahead is a little bit more difficult because you're going to have built up this habit.
'but over time this sort of fervent energy that you have used to get yourself to the stage where you actually accomplish things and then you need to somehow say you know that thing that you were just doing obsessively turn that off because now it's like pat yourself on the back time. That's not the way it works at least not in my experience what I've done myself. This is part of what I'm doing. Just had this crazy tear on the
We did one Cinema episode every single Monday for seven and a half months and we were supposed to do we were intending on doing six a year and we did like 28 n 7 months something even more we did we did to all week during Christmas I think for a couple of weeks. So this for me is very much what you're talking about. So I got a friend who loves to celebrate things George and we
decided to put a trip together and I'm still working and doing stuff, but I'm going to go back. I already am feeling recharged. So
doing it in a little ways with other people not on your own experiences rather than possessions.
Positive reinforcement and celebration. Those are the things that the things that have worked for me and dude. I feel you. I think many people in the audience really really get to the challenge that you're facing but to get pithy for a second.
A tiny bit of a mindset shift might be a smart idea to why are you doing all of these things and accomplishing anything if it isn't for you to be able to enjoy them? I mean the gold standard is for you to enjoy the process and the accomplishment, but if you kill yourself during the process and the accomplishment is so short-lived that you're already on to the process of the next thing immediately.
You will reach a point where you ask yourself. What am I doing here and trying to front run that as much as possible. You are here to enjoy the things that you do especially if you're achieving things. It sounds like you're absolutely crushing it in whatever it is that you do.
God fuck you have to give yourself some credit. You have to be able to find a way to enjoy this. So asking yourself a question.
What would this be? Like if it was more enjoyable? Just what would just ask yourself that question and see what comes up. What would the pursuit and the accomplishment be like if it was a little bit more enjoyable because for me I would be traveling around America with a friend.
I would be
Giving myself a little bit of a break on a morning and having time that's just for me that's not for answering emails or dealing with slack or prepping for a guest or doing whatever it would be for me. That would be enjoyable. So that's a good key and I appreciate the question. Awesome Thomas Williams WIlliams 40 85 watt Clipper length is your hairdo. So this is a
two two and a half. So two on the sides and two and a half on the top actually going down to a one and a half and a to now because I can't be asked going into The Barbers every three weeks, but I think that if you've got the hair to pull it off to two-and-a-half looks great, but it will grow out especially your hair grows quickly within three weeks. It'll be too long. So one and a half 2 or 22 and a half is the way to go.
Harry C. 843 I feel way too passive after getting rid of a large chunk of my ego. How can I build it back a bit feel like it took away my confidence love the Pod, dude.
What an awesome Insight that is fantastic and I might write about that in a newsletter shamelessly repurpose it into a newsletter. I think that's so good. I absolutely felt and probably still have felt a lot of this over the last six years many people may say that I'm full of ego and the internet may be right, but holy shit if you'd seen me in my 20s
a lot of the mindfulness and gratitude that I did really and and
learning to be most learning to kind of embody my sensitivity a little bit more.
Really made a massive difference to the ego that I had before and it did take a huge chunk out of my confidence, which I'm still building back. So I feel you on this one. The things that I've done to do. This is to realize that confidence built around ego isn't true confidence. You didn't necessarily have you had blind confidence previously and I think that it may take long GE for you to build.
This back but when you have it, it will be from a place of genuine rock-solid Foundation. It will be built on you knowing who you are and having justification in your confidence as opposed to you being a young dude. That's young dumb full of fucking testosterone and made of rubber and Magic bouncing through life.
with kind of an assumptive confidence
also, maybe the price that you need to pay to get rid of some of your ego to have more Equanimity to be more mindful to be a better friend to be more sensitive. Maybe the price that you needed to pay for that what's to lose some confidence and an interesting question to ask yourself would be is that a price that you would have paid if you could have gotten if you are answer it and say if I could go back I wouldn't have done that. You need to really really work hard to build it back up.
Up if the answer is that you're glad that it happened. Okay, let's start from a place of positivity. You're happy that this happened that something that was good. I think that that's probably something that was good for you to do.
Building up confidence. James's book how to be confident is actually really really good Alex's inside about you. Don't become Confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are is also good and remembering as well that
if losing your ego killed your confidence, I don't think what you had was confidence. It was something else and you are now starting from Baseline. So which is such a wonderful that such a great Insight. I'm going to copy it over into my newsletter notes now actually that's such a great question. So
This is one thing that I love I fuckin love this doing doing the q&a's. I know that I moved through the questions very quickly, but selfishly because I want to see as many of them as I can and get the opportunity to answer them while I speak. So that's how I think best.
The questions that you guys come up with are the things that I struggle with and seeing questions that I've journaled about previously or ones that I felt like this is one that I felt but never actually verbalized it's so it's just so great. It's so great, too.
I
feel like other people see you and I think that that's what hopefully this show is to you guys me.
Trying to learn to open up and be less of a performative artist around. This is how I feel. This is my history. This is sort of what I'm dealing with and asking some expert about why is this this way, but it's just sing questions that see my condition and probably a lot of your guys's conditions to I think it's just fucking great. So Bravo Harry bit by bit continue to do things that are undeniable stacks of proof and
Realize that what you had before wasn't wasn't confidence. I don't think
Isaac majang goes when are you going to get philosopher Tim Dillon on your podcast been here since 97k. Wow. Well, thank you for being here for so long. I am going to LA in a couple weeks and Tim is in LA and if our schedules align very well may be on the show One granados. What are you wildly insecure about? Even if it's not true?
Talking good question. Well, the problem with wild insecurities is that your ability to assess their veracity is usually terrible. Most of the things you're wildly insecure about. You have no idea if it's false for me still Lots around wanting to be respected and liked and a fear of being left out of things and this
sort of
permanent sense of being on the outside and observing what's going on not in it. I'm an observer. I'm an Orbiter. I'm an out outside participant in many things and I think this is a big carry over from when I was a kid and that certainly was my experience in school and even in sport, you know, even in the sports that my chosen sport which is Cricket which was very very good at even that I didn't feel like anybody.
She had my back. I wasn't part of a group or a tribe. I didn't have a squad of friends and only child thing obviously doesn't help because I guess you kind of if you've got brothers and sisters. I don't know how that works. But if you've got brothers and sisters, I suppose you kind of have to have their back at least for a while until you're old enough to be able to say I'm done with you. You're a dick.
so a lot of it comes up around that still worthiness and sort of being good enough, you know this but this strange ambient sense for maybe the last year that someone's mad at me and I don't know why and I don't know who and I don't know what about but just you know, you know what I mean, you've done something wrong and that
someone's mad at you. So that's been there and then
Patting myself on the back about things that I've done. Well also.
insecure about
Was that good? How good was that? Was that good enough it? Was it the best that I could do? What did the best look like? This is one of the dualities of having high standards. I suppose that
you basically can never meet them.
So many things I guess and a combination of opening up emotional work with therapy and maybe not being in the most robust place in terms of health and sleep over the last six months has been a really ruthless cocktail. I may look back on this in six months time and go gay or
I might realize that this was a
justified in sight but many things many things and that doesn't necessarily get any easier as more people watch the show as there's you know, half a billion people are your scrutinizing what you do your wild insecurities seem to be Amplified not diminished. I think that's going to change Bond. Hey Chris. Do you like that? You haven't 54 year old granny who listened to your podcast and loves it Bond I couldn't
Happier that you're a 54 year old granny that listens to this podcast and loves it at not necessarily the immediate target market, but we're an equal opportunities wisdom dispenser here. So thank you very much for being here.
Jasper Hamill, do you ever find all that positivity and wellness stuff a bit depressing and yearn for a nice reassuring bit of self-destruction fucking brilliant.
So
the positivity bit less so but the wellness stuff absolutely what you do have to remember is that I'm like who's the guy that shot summer Bin Laden Rob O'Neill. I'm like the Rob O'Neill.
Of self-destruction and partying. I know that the internet didn't get to see me basically until I was 30, but my God, I served my time in the trenches from 18 to 30 years old just endless amounts of parties in different countries at different times in different cities with different drugs in different venues different music policies every type of party I'd done and I still feel like
like I'm on self-destruction sabbatical from that. You're kind of like a
Some dude the train for the Olympics, you know, he was a child prodigy in the fencing of the rowing or something and he did it and retired 22 at the ripe young age of 22. That's me with partying at that being said, yes, the over-optimization up its own ass positivity Wellness thing the like absolute protocol maxing side of stuff just is becoming more and more lame. I think people are so
Switched Off by lots of that now and I did six months sober the start of this year broke that in Nashville couple weeks ago or a couple of weeks ago. So I'll be having a few beers sniffing Vapes may be with Luke at the end of this year. I have an interesting relationship with partying I suppose because I just did it so much served my time in the trenches the Vanguard.
but there is a place for that self-destructive behavior, and I think the
The people who are unable to ever let go of that are in a particular type of fragility to so, who knows. Maybe this is the wrestle Tails. Why do you look the same for like two fucking years now?
Do people age that much in two years? Typically,
I
have the most basic bitch skincare routine in history, which is wash your face and then put moisturizer on after the shower.
I would be worried if I did change in the space of two I suppose you must change at some point right? There must be some two-year periods in which you really do change anyway.
I don't know all the baby blood that I'm drinking from Mike is retells seller Jack. Koonak. What do you think of circumcision? I knew it coming back around should it be done to infants? Is it barbaric Jack coonan? I mean look,
I see no fucking justification for circumcision.
Any guy that says this included Mike actually Mike wishes. He was circumcised.
any guy who says that circumcision is a
A benefit that the it's somehow benefiting them unless there's some weird fucking medical abnormality down there that you mean to chop a bit off the top. I promise you it's not
the I know this from Yusuf who has a very detailed map of all of the different types of for skin that can happen and he wants lectured me about this over dinner. So I know it reduced sensitivity in the penis it
I know so many guys that are circumcised that basically struggle to come during sex and basically can't from oral. I think God what a brilliant thing. It would be if it was just five seconds like the rest of us. Now, I do think it's fucking barbaric. It seems pointless. It's like some nonzero number of Babies Diaper Year from this and it's not even people that are Jewish. Look who am I to step in and try and tell some religion, too?
Do or not do something but culture culture. Sorry American man.
Why what's going on? I don't understand maybe someone needs to teach me why it is that most Americans we were in a sauna the cold plunge place your and a half ago for a friend stag. Do there was a through the back of the gents changing rooms with his huge plunge thing one plunge, cold plunge sauna over the far side, but the whole thing was nude that guy's only dudes you'll notice that all of the guys getting out of the
the hot bath didn't mind but all of the guys getting out of the cold bath had their hands over their junk. I think I was the only guy in there with the foreskin fucking wild in this country defund circumcision. So I say l who cheen is having a small penis a skill issue then definitely put these together in order is having a small penis a skill issue.
Yes, everything's a skill issue circumcision is also a skill issue not having a foreskin is it's a skill issue. There is no question today that I couldn't have just answered with skill issue skill issue over and over again.
Cos rho. Why should I care about your subscriber numbers? You don't need to.
You don't need to at all. I don't think that I really should care about my subscriber numbers. But as you just learned Castro we need to celebrate our small wins. It is the way that we are going to keep ourselves motivated and rejuvenate ourselves ready for the next thrust one Granada's. When what are you looking forward to in your Australia trip and how can we make the trip more enjoyable for you? What a lovely question. What would I like I would love.
I would love to have some good Aussie food. I would really love to experience that cool pool where the Sea comes up onto it and I would just like you guys to bring the Curiosity and the energy and the inquisitiveness that I get the sense that you all have.
The by GDP or whatever it is modern wisdom is bigger in Australia than any other country. So I'm kind of
Loki thinking that this Oz tour is going to be the craziest one of them all just because first Australians don't exactly have a reputation for being chill people and secondly, it's in terms of density the highest place on the planet that supports issue which is wild. I don't know what that says about me, but I appreciate you all huh. That's it. I made it five hours sleep one Starbucks Bap breakfast Bap and
A little bit of water and no caffeine haven't had caffeine for a while because I've been on the road and I'm being able to get new tonic. Look I appreciate all of you. I know that I keep on doing these Q&A is really quickly because the show keeps growing but I like it. I like checking in with you guys. Seeing how you're getting on what else is happening new tonic restock is now available new tonic.com / modern wisdom that's available next day delivery UK and us
Huge August coming up absolute monster August with a ton of big guests coming up, and then I was tour November, and then this is retail thing will happen before November as well. I am going to have some food and go to sleep. Appreciate you. Bye.
