If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you know, you're at Mercy of things that you can't
control.
Yeah, I'm not even just saying this, I literally think I manifested this, like it's the after I saw you at Simeon, haze's house. So that was a couple months ago and then a few weeks ago, my I was talking to my social media go, randomly. We were just talking about bunch of stuff and just kind of what I would love to represent, just talking about a new chapter for me and whatever. And I was like, she was like, who would you really want to like, talk to or whatever? And I was like, would be so cool to talk to Jay.
She was like, that would be really cool and then we kind of just that was kind of the thought and whatever and then you hit me and I was like no frickin way he's hitting me right now. So I was like, absolutely. This is like perfect. It's the universe just putting it in perfect timing
because that makes me so happy because it is exactly the opposite way. So I've for a long time, I had people that I'd love to sit down with and every time I saw you do something with mental health and Vogue or any of the segments that you ever did. I was just like she's amazing. Like, you know, it's incredible to the way you were.
Talking about it when you post about it, I'd be like all this is incredible like does he see you speaking so openly about in vulnerably about it. And so I've always wanted to do this and then but we've never really crossed paths and so I'm always just a bit late and I don't like asking friends of friends when I haven't met someone and right. So I was like that day. I had to like pluck up the courage and I'm just going to ask myself is it's easier when I asked Eric, and I know Christy so but I was like it's nicer when there's I told my team to I was like, it's so much nicer when there's like a personal connection for sure.
And someone really feel comfortable rather than it's like a PR, it
was, it was so perfect. Like, when I think back to it, I'm like that was me. Just trusting the universe and not pushing for anything, and I knew it was gonna kind of happen when it was supposed to. And it literally, did it did.
Yeah. You felt it too. Yeah. You want to be? Yeah, and I hope that is the son of spending more time together 10 years, time or
two. I would love that because like, I think also, I don't know, like, I admire people like you, I admire like, you know,
The Michael pollan's and Michael singers and Wim Hof's of the world. And I feel like you fit in that category for me of just people that are because, you know, I know a little bit about your story, I'd like to actually know more, which would be really cool to actually I know we're obviously not here for that. Exactly. But for me just personally like I'd love to know more of your story. I know that you've had quite the experiences and I think that's so cool. I'm like, so intrigued by people with just that amount of curiosity and like determination determination and patience
Like that takes so much patience to be like you or like any of those people that I just listed. It's so cool to me and I just I wish I wish for myself but I'm working on. I know you're there curious to that level of like I said patients into certain determination is like it's a gift like that is like a really, really amazing gift. And like I said, like I'm just working on it all the time and I that's my goal in life I
guess. Well, I think I feel the same way
About you again, that. And by the way, I love all those people, you just mentioned to see ya. So feel very honored to be put into that group of people and we've had women the podcast before teams. He's been a guest but with you, I feel the same way back when it's like when you see someone who is so curious, who could get away with not worrying about these things if you don't want to but then still being courageous enough to talk about these things and then using your platform as a space to open up these diamonds like that is as if not more important, as well as doing the work and doing the path.
Yeah, I mean I can see you doing the way it's fun. Watching you do the work and figuring
it out. I love working on myself, like it is actually like a passion of mine and like, I just I find so much comfort enjoy and like actually finding where I think I could better myself and being like even if it's physical like physical as in like my physical health or working out or I just started doing speaking of Wim Hof, I just started doing like cold plunges and Ice baths and like even if I don't have the time to go outside and I just got a cold plunge or did it right before?
I got here. The best thing ever is also again, again, it takes so much mental there. The whole thing of it is all mental. So I don't know just stuff like that. I really love. So I'm always I'm always trying to just be the best version of me and so I just love that it like actually makes me feel really good. I love self care and I just love stuff like that. So it's been really cool but it's cool for you to say that you enjoy seeing that from me. Because there's always been kind of this weird part of it for me where I'm like,
Is this a pity party? Because I don't want it to be like I want this to feel very positive. I want to connect with people and I guess that's that is my goal. There is to be like there actually is this side of me that you might may not know of, but the goal here is to connect and also not feel like I'm throwing some pity party for myself because I want this to be a learning experience for everyone. I want this to be really positive and will it really well received. I want you to look at it and actually have a positive feeling towards it. So
I don't know, you'll find like if I, you know, when I do kind of post about something, or when I want to talk about something, I'm usually sharing a tip or like sharing kind of like a little technique, even if it's something so simple as like, runt walking outside taking a few deep breaths and journaling. Like, yeah, it's just that kind of stuff that I really like to share because I feel like I want to be helpful. Yeah, we're than any
I'd sooner. And that's how I that's at least how I see it. Yeah, I see it not completely not as a pity party at all, but so much more is just hey, here's a reminder, yeah.
But I did. Yeah, I feel like that positivity shines through to in the way you do it. So at least if that helps whatever that were on the outside, it definitely comes across that way. Cool. And and this is easily been the warmest introduction to flavor. Conversation. I've ever experienced in my entire life and doing this. There's
actually, I was actually really nervous coming in here because this means so much to me, like, and I'm serious, because, you know, I've done a lot of interviews in my life and when, when thinking about this one or thinking about that, I even wanted to do something.
I'm like this. It just it means a lot to me. And so it made me a little nervous and I was like, I just want to get this, right? This isn't like, you know, me going out and promoting something or talking about something this is, you know, something very real that we all experience which is just, you know, ourselves and our well-being and just everything.
So yeah. And this is, this is a, you know, for me, genuinely and I really do mean this. Like the podcast has been a gray excuse or really, from my side, an intention to get to know people.
I really admire. Yeah. And so for me it's been a great way of building new friendships and relationships because if you can send talk to someone and really get along with each other, you like, oh, we should do this more often and so honored. Yeah. So for me, it's definitely being that and to me, you know, you saying that and you know, taking it as intentionally as you are. It's, you know, for me, it's as important. I always shared this before we start recording usually, but we just flowed. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose. The number one Health podcast in the world. Thanks to
Each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow now, it's very rare that I get to sit down with someone that I have admired for a very long time from afar. Someone that I believe, has inspired me through the sharing of their story, someone who speaks of vulnerably and openly about the things that I most care about mental health purpose, the Journey of life and Discovery and curiosity and what I want to share about this business when I bumped into them at a mutual friend's birthday party. And I just want to give a big shout-out to see me and Hayes because
Happen without them I love using in as you've been amazing guest on the podcast before as well. I would've bumped into this individual had this opportunity to reach out to them and as soon as I reached out, this has been the most flowing conversation and connection that have possibly had on the podcast to be honest. So I just want to put that out. I'm speaking about the one and only someone who needs no introduction but successful business found International supermodel, founder of the incredibly successful tequila brand 818 and star on the who lose the Kardashians.
Which premieres in second season on September 22nd. The one and only Kendall Jenner. Candle thank you so much for doing this
for having me, that was a wonderful introduction.
Oh well it's it's honest, being such an honor, getting to know someone who eats very rare that I find someone who functions in with very similar values in a personal connection sense. So when I reached out to you I really meant everything I said and I could have written you an essay. But I was like, let's spare the details and then
To get your response and then for us to be here within a couple of weeks of connecting. Yeah. And even your message this morning, I just want people to know. I was like, the text you sent me this morning. I was like this, never happens, like, amazing and I was like, but and I was literally going to do the same thing. And so to me, I was like, this is very rare. And so I love this energy and the flow that we're experiencing and Meaty, I'm excited to get into it. Now, it's
funny because I called I called Hayes before the other day and I was just like, oh my God, I'm going on your friends show and whatever and she was like he's the
Best. It's good. You're just going to flow right into it. He's so easy to talk to and that's literally what happened and like I told you, I just feel like I manifested this moment for both of us and for this just, this whole experience. And so I am really happy to be here and I'm honestly honored like I said, I admire you and I there's so many people like you that I admire. So I think sitting down here with you is just so cool for me and I get to talk about fun things with the own
self, amazing, festive any and and I wanted to start with because I always like to start with just things that I've seen more
Cindy a couple of days ago, I think you posted a beautiful picture of you hugging your horse and you will let you know, like snuggle time or something like that and I was just like, whenwhen did horses become a part of your life and how did you get so close to them?
I think I've spent many lifetimes with horses. I think this is very, very one of many lifetimes that I've had. I grew up in a horse community, so where we grew up horses, everywhere, Trent more Trails than there were homes really? And so, I was always around horses and I just was deeply in love with
Them and I have no explanation. And that's why I say I feel like in past lives, I have just been around horses. Yeah. So since I was a really young kid, love them and continue to love them my whole life, they're just the best. They're the most majestic, and gorgeous, and spiritual, they feel everything. I just like, it's such an honor to be in their presence and to be able to do what I can do with my horse, I find so magical, but I can stand in her stall with her and just like five out with
Like I like sometimes come to like a little, get a little teary-eyed. When I'm standing in my stall with her because I'm like, this is so cool that you allow me to do this and we have this connection, without any words, it's just the best thing ever. So I love
them. Yeah, that's especially, I have a different teary-eyed story with horses, but I'll tell you, I'll tell you the short version. So when I proposed to my wife, who I call, might introduce you do when I proposed to her, which is eight years ago, something like that. When I proposed to her I organized a very what I would consider like a very, very Hollywood propose.
So it was it was too over-the-top and I would do it totally different today with all everything. I've learned habit. Yeah, it happens. It happens. And so we were walking to by the Thames in London, which is where were both born and raised. And this, a cappella group jumps out and they're singing Bruno Mars and then like, they give her a bouquet of flowers and then I get on one knee, I propose we have dinner by the river and then we walk around the corner and there's a horse-drawn carriage to take us around to things are London. And so we're on this Carriage, we have this beautiful.
Part through London and then we get into the train to get back home to her parents can tell them and they already knew she's got hives all over her face. No, and well over she's allergic to horses and I found out the day, everybody smells like. All right? So that she was like she had tears and when we got back, our parents were like, what did you do
to? At least, you got to enjoy the
moment and it's not tell Dad that, ya know I love horses and that's where I first learned.
And I mean, they're so therapeutic. Absolutely. Yes a reason there's a coin therapy. It's the best.
Exactly. Yeah, they make me. They make me when I'm with her. I have a few but I'm most mostly with one of my horses right now because I'm her name's delantera, didn't name her, she came with her name but I call her Dylan or Dill, I love her so much, but when I'm with her, I genuinely I speak of like our spoke about how I've just loved horses, my whole life, I feel like a kid around her. Like I feel
All like my 12 year old self that would get up every morning at throughout the entire summer at 8:00 a.m. to go just be at my trainers facility and I would stay there from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. I'd ride all her horses. I'd groom all her horses. I would just sit in the Stalls with all the horses, like it just any time I'm with her. I just have that sense of like being a child again, and it's a really, really good
feeling animals. Have that special ability, they like, so I'm Trevor animal, you're attracted to and yeah, I, I never thought I would, but when I lived as a monk, the
The animal that is revered in India is cows and you would never think of cows being like Majestic or you know in that way especially when you know in India but the cows in India. Have these like lotus-like eyes like the eyes are just like a Borgia Sunny. Yeah. And there's so special in, they said, gentle animal. Yeah. And recently Rowdy and I went trekking with gorillas in Rwanda and gorillas are the we have to go. That sounds. Unreal was unbelievable. And Debbie animal that's revered in
Whenever they have a new gorilla that's born, they have a naming ceremony with the community. It's love. It's so beautiful. But, and then I heard somewhere that you, your first job was you're a dog walker. Yeah. And so I was thinking, like, do you have any lessons or anything you learned by being a dog walker? I think first jobs are so interesting.
Yeah, no. I mean, I was always a super disciplined child like meaning to might like I just loved, I would put myself to bed at 7 p.m. be like, my mom would be like, playing with me and my little sister and Big Mama.
It's seven, I got to go to sleep, like it's time for my bedtime she'd be like, are you okay. And so I was always that kid in. So I think I just was always really eager to like, work. I don't know why. I just like, wanted to always have something to do something that I felt passionate about that. I really enjoyed and so yeah, when I was young, I put some flyers around our community and said I would walk dogs and I ended up getting people that would get let me have their dog for a few hours and take it for a walk. So I loved animals and I liked having something to do. So I
Spent. I was a kid that liked to be by myself with animals. So like I think that that was a cool, very fitting thing for me because I got to be by myself walking, but then also experienced all these little dogs
with. Yeah, I wish I did that. I used to deliver newspapers that was my first job and it's not as glamorous in London because it's raining
was that what you were Desiring or was that? I was
just two years old and wanted to make some money and so I'm going to start doing this and you don't get to you know, you
See in the movies where the paperboard just like Chuck's the paper at the door, but I had to actually go and put it inside. So my only interaction with dogs is they were on the inside grabbing the paper, right? And so yeah barking at. Yeah there's stuff that I always loved knowing about people's first jobs and how things started for them because of, you know, obviously where you are today. But what do you think it was in those early years where you just said you were very disciplined? Like, it sounds like you were, you were aware of certain habits that you built then what were some of the things that
You feel confident about or how did you look for validation in those early years? And where did it come from for you?
I mean, it's interesting. So Kylie my little sister she was always the social butterfly. I was always I just liked being to myself. I don't know if that's the Scorpio in me. So it just came naturally or whatever. I had I had a group of friends who I loved but I just I like can vividly remember just on the weekends not running to go be with my friends all the time during the summer. I was with them but on the
Ends in between school. I would, I was really just by myself. I would love to like, hang out in my room. I like was kind of a nerd. I loved video games and, like, sitting on the computer and playing Sims all day. Like I just kind of liked being to myself and then all day long during the summer was with my horses and yeah, I don't know. I just, it just brought me joy. I don't think I have like, you know, a super long explanation for that. It was so simple for me as a kid. Like it was just as simple as that made me happy and that's
Just what I wanted and it explains, I guess a lot of me now, I went through like a phase where I felt like I had to be around people. I think I live a very social life and my job is very social so I was you know, kind of conditioned to want to be around people a lot. And then as you know, the pandemic came around, you're not around as many people anymore. Now I'm just really enjoying being by myself which is really cool. Yeah. And I had the most, I thought the best day of
On Sunday all by myself. I got up. I went and rode my horses. I like took my niece to ride her. Pony, just me and her was so nice, brought her back home went to my house. Got in my cold plunge, one in my pool laid out, journaled like I was having the best day and I was just pretty much all by myself. So I enjoy it so
much. I loved, I'm sure that's a refreshing for people to hear too because I feel like people may from the outside perceive a life which obviously, like you said for work, it's busy and its social, and of course you have wonderful friends.
But to know that you can feel comfortable in your own company and that's going to have it that you've
divided, crave simple, things like I I love my life and I love my job and I feel so fortunate that I have been placed here. That for some reason, I was given this life. Like, I feel immensely grateful for that. And I have had so much fun. And I like, think back on just the experience that I've had the experiences that I've had this far and it's like, it's like a shocking to me. I'm like, this is so
Can cool that I live this life but at the end of the day like when I am home and when I'm alone like I crave the simple things, I love a simple day, I love just like a simple routine and being to myself and being around the people that I love my small core crew.
So yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah. I mean that's I think that's what we're all striving for is right, that passion and Andres and I'll work and then write simplicity at home. How many times a day do you have to switch tools and jump from document to document to keep up with your team? You
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What would you say? I was thinking about this and I've watched so many of you interviews and read so much to. But what would you say for you as being one of your like proudest moments or greatest achievements or something that you really feel like an internally? I mean, look for the basis of our conversation. Like some of that really brings you Joy internally. When you think about it or when you had it.
Like I said, I look back and the things that I've accomplished just even my job. Like I think I really at one point when I was young,
I decided I want to be a model and this is what I want to do. And the fact that I executed because we talked about that determination like I really was, I was 14 years old when I kind of made that decision and was like this is what I want to do and I went to my mom and I was like please help me do this and I didn't stop. Until I was 24 that I was like, okay. I think I need to like take it back a notch which we could also get into because that's a very yeah, kind of dramatic story but like I just
it's new and I think I'm proud of myself for being that kid and being determined to do that and then executing and doing it to the to the level that I had done it and that I guess I still do. But I also am proud of, I think more. So the self work that I've done within that process because there was a long period of time. I'd say the core five years of it that I was extremely overworked. Not my happiest not because I
Not doing what I loved. But just because I was overwhelmed and I was I felt like I was saying, yes to everything because I felt really, really grateful and really honored to be in the position that I was in. So I was always saying yes and it just took a lot out of me to the point where I just wasn't happy anymore. And so I had to set those boundaries for myself. When I was about 23 24, I'd say like what a year before the pandemic. So yeah, I was probably 23, I really set boundaries for myself and I was like
I want to continue to do this because this is what I love but I need to start saying no when I can and prioritizing me and prioritizing like you know my happiness and my well-being and it has done wonders for me. Like I feel like I can show up better for myself and I can show up a better person for the people that get to be around me that day, and you know, that I work with them that day. So yeah, yeah. So that's what
Out of. Yeah, I didn't give you a long answer to your question.
Amazing, I was, I won't say I was hoping for that because I'm always open to wherever anyone's life experience goes. But there's a part of me that loves hearing that, like, I really appreciate hearing that because when you've achieved so many incredible things in your career which you have to then say well this is the part like knowing how to navigate it or right making the right choices at the right time healthy balanced and healthy balance is
so important. It's important for all of us. Yeah like we have to this is what we're prioritizing, you know.
Yeah, so how did you find the courage to do that? At the 23 monkeys? You're saying you're in a competitive industry. As you said it was over working. It's fast-paced, I'm guessing there's comparison in that industry, there's competition in their Industries, it's not easy, space to be your, you know, you're in the top 0.01% in your industry. So it's hard. And the reason I ask this is because I work with so many people in this space and to have the courage to say, no, I know that if I
So they sell, then all of this is going to be just fine, that actually takes more courage than we recognize. We realize that when you have nothing, then there's nothing to lose. You can actually a lot of Courage, right? But when you have everything in, there's everything to lose. And a lot of the time, at least, what I've heard in town is, you know, older managers and agents. And I'm not saying you have any of this. But people, that I know will be told well, hey, if you don't do this, like you'll be forgotten next year or, you know, your career is only going to last another six months. How did you have that courage to say? No, no, no, I need to do this.
I like, where did that come from? And
I think that it's interact. Like, I've never thought about it that way, to be completely honest with you, I just knew that if I had gone any further that I was going to lose myself, I was at that very, I was on the teeter-totter edge of that point where had I gone any further? I was probably not going to be great. It was so important to me to feel good that I just knew that it was something that I had to do.
And I can't say like you're absolutely right. Like there were so many people around me that had told me not to say no and told our told me. Yeah. Told me not to say. No told me not to stop. I fought my way out of it a little bit because there were people that had worked for me that you know didn't want me to stop because it might have benefited them of course but I got to that point I just knew I had to do it and I just I don't know I don't know how to explain it I guess. Yeah.
It was just such an unbelievable Sensation that I had. Were I knew that if I do this I'm going to be better for everyone and I'm going to be better for myself, which means I'm going to be better for the people around me and I have to do this and so it wasn't really. I want to be able to live with happiness God forbid any of this ever went away and I think that that was a big moment for me of being like I'm going to be okay if I don't get this job tomorrow and I'm gonna be okay if I don't get
Job in a month. If I have to take this time to do, whatever things will come, everything's going to work out the way it's supposed to, and I had to trust that.
So, yeah, well to me, I'm from the outside and it's beautiful that you didn't see in yourself because that, I know, it makes it even more wonderful. But the idea that to me from the outside, that's a lot of Courage. Yeah, it takes a lot of Courage, it takes a lot of vulnerability and openness and and it takes courage every level. Whether someone's thinking about quitting their job to do something they love or whether someone's trying to relocate their family and doesn't know how
Well, whether Someone Like You is feeling success within going, well, weight women. And I think in the past few years, we've seen athletes and musicians, and actors, and people in all creative Industries, step back and say, well, I need to put me first. Yeah, and I think that that's empowering because I think we hear about bernau in. Welcome to turn corporations often for sure. So what was it that you started to do with that Newfound time at that time? Like, where was is that where the Curiosity was the Curiosity? Always there. And now you could actually follow it
It was, it was, it was always there and I had had a lot of people coming to me telling me about meditation and how it changed their life and therapy, and so many different things. And I was a bit overwhelmed, because I was like, oh my God, out of this is gonna suit me. I think it's a very personal experience. I think everybody has a very different version of all of that stuff. And so it was a little overwhelming, so I think I really just took the time to be off for a second. It was even the little things, it was like, being able to
To go to my friend's birthday party, which I wouldn't have been able to go to before, because I was working a
lot. I love hearing that because I think it is the simple things like, you know, giving yourself, that space, whatever it is that you needed to do. Yeah. When you needed it. And like you said, sometimes it's like, that's when all the Subscribe buttons, come up in front of you and it's like try this and try this. And it's like well no no no let me just take my
time and it was also now that I think about it. Yeah. 23 I'm 26. I've had my horse for so around that time.
Is when I bought the horse that I have now. Who is my? Like I jump her and I like how I have a to other horses but they're like retired. So I don't really read them the same way I ride her. So yeah, I guess it was around that time to that. I was like I'm gonna do this because I love this and like I want to get back into it and this is what I've loved my whole life. So so it was around that time that I feel like all of that started happening and I bought my horse and I like started taking more time for things that made me really
happy. Yeah. What I whatever.
I'm noticing in you and observing or at least from just these, do it again, do it again, it's okay. I was just saying it's like it feels like no matter what's happening in your orbit, there's this pillar of belief that it's important to be happy. Yeah, like it, you know, that's like this course and to believe in your life where it's especially important to be happy. It's important to be happy. It's that has to be the
goal for sure. And, you know, it's not always easy. We live in such an interesting industry.
And in such an interesting time with social media that it can be very hard. Sometimes, you can fall victim to so many things that don't serve you and that don't make you happy if your happiness depends on the actions of others, you know, you're at Mercy of things that you can't control and that's never where I want to be. So I always want to live in like, me and my therapist talk about like my hi.
Fire goddess, my higher self. Like I always want to live there knowing that, you know, when I'm there you can't take that away from me. That's mine and no matter what you can disagree with me, you can agree with me. That's not going my, I'm not changing, I'm not shifting. I'm here. I'm in my higher goddess. So I kind of I always live by like
Keep
holding my happiness and not letting anyone else affect it. And though, I fall victim to it at times, what we, as we all probably do. Absolutely. I strive every day to live in that place. So
what are some of the qualities of your higher goddess? So that kind of Avatar like, she's
awesome. Like I said, I don't love a pity party. I also like, you know, sometimes it feels weird to like, say good things about yourself. But I've also learned a lot about talking to myself and a lot about looking.
In the mirror and being like, you're great, you're gorgeous, you're amazing, you're loyal, you're positive. You're so many. Like, I love words of affirmation. I love just sitting there and reassuring myself of who I am. Because that's another thing for me. You know, there's so many false narratives about me about all of us. I'm sure like so many people think they have. You figured out when they don't even know the half of it. So sitting there and being like
Like, you know, you get frustrated, sometimes it can feel really unfair, you could be reading something that someone is saying about you or hearing something that someone saying about you and being like, that is so unfair. Because that's not who I am and that really gets to me sometimes and that really sucks. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am, and that's all. Why does anything else matter? And my friends know who I am and my family knows who I am. My dog knows who I am. My horse knows who I am. Like, why does any of everything else is just
noise?
Do this exercise? I don't think I've said this before, but I did this exercise, with some of my clients where we'll go on a walk and we'll be on a hike wherever we are, and I'll ask them what they think a piece of, you know, maybe there's a little leaf or maybe there's some flower or something that looks a little unique on the path. And I said, what do you think that feels like, and what do you think it would feel like if you picked it up in your hand and they'll be like, oh, it looks really rough and like, it might scratch me and like, it looks like a bit, you know, like
Like uneven or whatever and it looks kind of hard and strong and then I'll ask them to pick it up and nine times out of ten. It's completely different. Like I'll pick it up. No, she dissolve in their hands or their turn it over and the colors really soft. And sorry. The shape the shapes really soft and the colors totally different on the other side and I do that exercise to help us realize just how multifaceted humans are ya today. I've got to meet you and and obviously, we're spending a lot of deep intimate vulnerable time together. So you learn faster about
Someone. But if someone only follow someone on social media or only see someone at an event or only sees one interview, it's so easy to create such a singular view of somewhere and I think and I want to say this because I really think we all feel it. I don't think anyone wants to be seen in a singular way. If you had to choose one word that had to be you for the rest of your life. I don't think anyone knows that, I think course know that we're messy and complex for and different of course.
But we liked him, put someone else in a box whoever that may be because it's easier than to live life and say, okay, well that's persons. Hey baby, right? Yeah. So this is beautiful piece of wisdom that I always share from Charles Horton Cooley and he wrote this in 1890. I think it was which just shows how true this has been for such a long time. And obviously long before that as well, and he said the challenge today is I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am.
What I think, you think I am and we let them blow. Everyone's mind, right? It gives me chills. Every time I say, Charles Holden Cooley said, the challenge today is I'm not what I think I am, I'm not what you think, I am. I am, what? I think you think I am and what he's trying to say is that we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. So if I think you think I'm smart, then I allow myself to feel
small, right? It's like we need that validation.
Other day.
She or if I think you think I'm not smart then I feel her. Yeah. And and the challenges, I don't know what you're thinking at all. Oh especially outside in the world and so I find that what you're saying around like well what do I think about myself? Like how do I feel about myself? How did the people that actually know me? Hmm, feel about me. I think that's really empowering. I wanted to ask you because I feel like from from what I've seen in from what I've heard you have, you have great friendships, have a great rest of your family. As you said. Like, what do you think of been really great habits?
Or traits in relationships that have helped you build up, good friendships, and, and family relations. Because I think for so many people, sometimes their friendships and their family. Can often be the most difficult part but I feel like the way you communicate the way you're talking about. I'm like okay there's some really good habits in place here. Yeah. Have there been any principles or rules that you've learned along the way that have been helpful? I
mean, of course, honesty, I'm a big person on like keeping a really honest healthy. Communicative relationship.
But I also think like, I find it really important to have not feel like you're on top of each other. When you have your family around, are your friends around. It's okay to like sometimes even if you're at like a family dinner, running to the bathroom and just being let me just take a couple
breaths, ha ha because this is
getting overwhelming. It's a great woman. So I just love to like take a second. My feelings are valid, like sometimes my family is a lot which I bet everyone already knows that. I just don't have a sense of crazy.
But but I think that I can get really overwhelmed really easily. I am prone to just, you know, a good amount of anxiety and just being extremely overwhelmed and kind of taking everything too seriously sometimes. So I like to just step away sometimes and just be like this is okay, I'm allowed to feel this way, it's valid. I'm just going to take a deep breath and I'm not going to react, and then I'm gonna go back out there and I'm gonna be fine. That's a great. And exactly
that, I love that. I love how easy it is to learn a new meditation.
Yeah, it's as simple as that, you know, one of the things that, you know, when it, which really touched my heart when I saw this? Because I think when things happen in culture and everyone talks about it, but sometimes you're like, okay, well, I can tell that there's a real connection here like when you lost Virgil, right? Like that. When I when I saw you a message in what you spoke about it, I was like, wow, this is, this is someone who had a really deep connection with this individual and going through grief is really really tough. Like, you know, people who lose and I lost
To really close people to me during the pandemic. So one was, thank you. One was one, was my spiritual teacher since I was 12 years old and he died of stage, four brain cancer, and I hadn't seen him during the pandemic. I can go back for his because that was still when it was. Like, yeah, yeah. Couldn't go back to his funeral and, you know, he'd been, the person who'd been such a key piece of my life and then the other person pretty much in the same year, was my best friend as a monk. So he was still a monk. Wow.
Well, and he happened to get cancer and he passed away during the pandemic. I can see him either and he was my age. And so to lose someone that was, you know, he was still there and so yeah. And so, and so when I saw you you know you're wonderful tribute to Virgil as well. I was like, you know, how do you process something like that when you know it's not only industry friends but genuine friendship Beyond just how did
yeah. Well my first thought here is, why is it always the best people? Like why is it always these people that are just such
Balls of light and everyone's life. It's like so you just think about in your like this is so unfair and you're going through every emotion and to be honest it was really shocking because not everyone knew what he was going through and suffering from. So it was really shocking. I'll never forget the day I found out and it just absolutely obviously breaks your heart and
You can't help but be like oh my god, did I, did I ever say enough? Did I ever tell him enough? It's really interesting to share that feeling with so many people. Yeah, it feels good in a way and you're just like, everyone makes you feel so human and you're sharing this emotion with people that knew him. People that didn't know him, people that just loved him from afar. And it's just a really beautiful and incredible thing to a certain degree. But then also,
Just obviously the most devastating thing it hits so hard, when so many people are talking about it and so many people are affected by it. So it was definitely a really shocking, really sad time.
Yeah, it was. Yeah. Yeah. And there's and and it's really interesting where you said there is like why and I had that with my spiritual teacher for sure. She's like, like he was, you know, and what's really powerful about what I could at least remember.
Member from him at that time, was that even though he had stage four brain cancer, which means he'd lost his short-term memory. And a lot of his long-term memory is impaired. If you ever met him, he would just thank you for your service to God. Like you would just say thank you for everything you're doing for other people and he would just be grateful and I was just like
that's exactly how we was to. He was the most positive lived life like appreciative wanted to say yes to everything.
I wanted to just be there for everyone. You could literally asked him to design a pencil for you and he would be like, it'll be done tomorrow. What are? You know, what else do you need? Like he just had so much to give and he gave it and that wasn't that was pre his diagnosis. That was like, that was just who Virgil was. And so to then find out what he found out at a certain point in his life and still be that person. It's still like I'm going to show up for everyone and like my time.
I'm here is so special to all these other people and I'm going to like be here to make them feel amazing. He's just like unreal. Like it makes you just be like what like how your how could you be that incredible and giving like that is so crazy. There wasn't a selfish bone in that man's body like he was just the best. Yeah. And I'm sorry to hear about your
oh no, I think it's actually nice. Speaking about people that we both love innocent in a in a similar way even though they're in such different.
Places in your life, doing very different things, but it to talk about someone's. And I think that's a big part of it, for me, at least with grief that I feel like. When I talk about the beautiful qualities of the people that I lost, it gives me so much confidence that they want me to live it and they want me to try and embody and that how fortunate we are to have experienced that type of humanity. Yeah. That you know
to those are my thoughts of him. Like I think all we ever really want as human beings is to be.
You know, when we do leave this earth, we want to be remembered. So beautifully in positive, positively. I know, at least, I do of course, but like you just want you, of course, want to make people feel something. And he made so many people feel something. And for that, it is so special. Like what do they say that? We, you know, we have our purpose here and I know that he fulfilled, a purpose here that he was supposed to fulfill. And I think that that's, I think about it beautifully. Like I obviously, it's a very, very sad,
Situation and it breaks my heart, but I have nothing but beautiful thoughts of him and I think that's really cool and really special. So
yeah, you thank you for sharing that to and I had to ask you because yeah, I just I feel, I love hearing amazing things about amazing people that, you know, because I think so many of the most incredible people I grew up reading about people that I never met and I spent a lot of my life studying books about people that I never met. So Malcolm X and Martin Luther King and Einstein. And people that I really
See as people that have directed so much of my life from how they lived. And I feel like he was potentially one of those people that I never met him, but whenever I hear about him, I'm just like, for sure. This is someone that we could learn from you. Sure. You spoke about purpose there. I was wondering, how is your purpose changed? You had this very confident view of, I want to be a model, you know if superseded exceeded in continue to flourish in that world and I always wish that you do how is your purpose evolved as that time.
Arnon,
I think I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot about myself about what I want from my life, and which is kind of what we've been talking about, but I'm actually really excited to get older and to learn so much more about, not only myself, but like the journey and the path that I guess want to take and want to be on. So I'd say, you know, my purpose has evolved from obviously within business doing what I want to do.
Do and making sure I'm happy and finding the thing that I love and all those things. But I've kind of like I said, really tuned in to me and I think my purpose at least at this very moment and what I've kind of evolved into is is my higher goddess. Like I am determined to tune into her at all times, but also as I get older, I have so much that I want to connect
With other people and with, you know, AKA social media and people that may not know me personally. And just, you know, the following like I said I was given this life for some reason, for whatever reason I was placed here and I do feel a purpose to share and connect and put a smile on people's faces or make someone feel a positive feeling. And so I think that within me wanting to achieve me tuning into my higher goddess. I
that also entails me being a great version of myself for other people to then experience and my tips and my tools and whatever I can share, whatever help I can give I really you know as corny as it sounds. I want to spread love like I want people to feel love. I that's really I
guess the purpose. Yeah that's that's beautiful. I mean we'll make you all right. Yeah. And and and it is funny that so much of the stuff that is corny or, you know, whatever that's the
That's true. Right? That's the stuff.
There's also just we all just like live in such a, it's an interesting time obviously and it can feel really - and I tend to stay off of platforms like social media platforms because it's hard to look at it sometimes and it feels really - so I feel like we all just need a little bit of a smile
sometimes I agree. I personally is videos every day which are just these fun silly things that happen.
You know that my team will find I'll find and I put some everyday literally for that reason and that reason only because I'm like I may or may say may or may not say something that makes someone smile. But this definitely well I guess this without bring some joy to someone's life and if this is the only joy that someone experienced, I want them to see good in the world and believe that there's good in that's one of my
favorite things to see on Tick-Tock when I sit in my bed at night and fell victim to tick tock, I love to see there's people that I'll post like here's like,
I have amazing facts that have happened in the world in the last couple weeks, or whatever. And it'll be like the, you know, pandas are not extinct anymore and like the Barrett Great Barrier Reef is coming back and stuff like that. And so I'm like that's so cool. That's what I want to hear.
Exactly. And and, you know, if it was like it's going down it's like it's going to get a lot of likes and hits but hey, it's going up. It doesn't get his attention. Yeah. Why don't we
like gravitate towards the negative? So much like no. Very interesting have
to retrain. I genuinely believe it's just a
Pattern. It's a pattern and a habit. That's been a dab solutely so long. Absolutely. And we have to retrain ourselves
clickbait of it all. And the whole thing, and we're like, that's going downhill. I need to see what's happening. And we just like, we do need to retrain our brains. It's exactly what it
is. Yeah. And it starts with what you said earlier, it starts with how we see ourselves. It is all from that if someone looks in the mirror as you were saying earlier, or if someone just reflects on themselves, not in them physically, but just internally. Yeah,
Most of us will spot all the negative things about our self and then we take that out into the world and spot all the negative things about everyone else and then we take that out into social media, right? So that just propelled from, if
you all are reflected in all,
yeah, he asked someone to sit down and write down. As you said, we feel uncomfortable taking a compliment or we feel uncomfortable,
saying, nice about ourselves
right actly, and so it all starts with our relationship itself. If we were able to find three good things about ourselves today, I promise
Going to find three good things about the person sitting in, right. And that will
right? Exactly. I do a lot of like inner inner child work with my therapist and there's actually a trend on Tick. Tock that was going around. But coincidentally enough, we ended up naturally speaking about it in my session and it was like this trend on Tech talk. I guess that was like like a girl being like, anytime you're being mean to yourself, just think this is who you're talking about and it flashes to like a photo of her as a kid and
So I mean, my therapist we're talking about something similar and she was like, why don't you find like a photo of yourself and put it on your bathroom mirror? So that every morning, every night, every day, when you walk into your bathroom mirror, you're looking at her and you're remembering that if there's anything negative that you're ever saying about yourself, if you were being mean to yourself, you're talking about her. And so, I did that, and I went into my eye, went into like my memorabilia closet in my house and I was looking through old like photo books and I've seen these photo books. My whole life I've literally seen every photo that's
In here. And I like flip to a page. And there's a photo. I'd never seen it myself ever. It was a polaroid. So it was the original photo and it was just me as a little girl, with a bow in my hair and a dress on, and I have, like, a little alien tattoo, or something right here. And I'm like, have this big cheesy smile on my face and I was like, that's the photo I'm putting on my thing, I can show you photos later. I have a picture of it on my phone but so I put pasted it on my bathroom mirror and I talked to her and I'm always like if I'm ever looking in the mirror and being
Native towards myself or anything. I'm, I always look right over to her and I'm like, she's dope that I love her. So it's just another way of just selfless, I love
that. That's such a great tool. That's it's great to my team. Found a kid picture of me and made an embarrassing version of that Trend. So I'll show you that too. But
okay, so you know
it. Yeah. Exactly and exactly are you saying earlier that, you know you you wanted to come here and you wanted to share and manifested in you, the things you wanted to show what is it? That's on your heart. That
You've wanted to share that, maybe we didn't go there today already or is there something on your mind and heart is an experience or anything that really Drew you here and made this happen, right? Like I want to honor that
I think we've obviously we've honestly touched a lot of what I felt like. I would have loved to get off my heart, I don't know. I was really excited, honestly to come here and share a little bit of me that I feel is very sometimes scary for me too.
Share. And like I said, I came in here and I was a little nervous because this is important to me and like this part of, you know, everyone's journey. And and what we're talking about today is it's so important. I really that was, I guess my intention here today was to come in and share a little bit of me and maybe for whoever's watching, they find some comfort in this or some Joy from this, or they understand me a little bit more, you know what I mean? So, I think that we've hit a lot of really cool points, and
Yeah. I mean I feel I feel really
good. Good. I wanted to honor that. I all stuck is you know I think I think when when you feel you're in that flow with someone and yeah I feel like, you know, we've learned so many new things about you today and there's so many moments where I'm like I just feel like you're so comfortable and and you've been so open with us but I just wanted to honor that thank you and make sure that you see all that you've really felt heard and see and I appreciate that. Thank you. So I only
myself we all want to just be understood at the end of the day. So
I think the closer you
You get two people humans, the closer you get to people of different backgrounds and different walks of life. The more you start to recognize how similar we all are. Yeah, exactly. And how many challenges we all share, despite how much money someone has in the bank, despite how much Fame someone else, despite how much follows someone else. And what we find is that everyone feels their own guilt for where they are, everyone feels their own pressure for where they are and everyone feels their own challenge for where they and you just start to realize that
We all have the same emotions. Exactly different
mixes. Yeah, we're all just having a human experience. Exactly. We're all just going day by day. I think we all need to be a little bit kinder to each other and just take it easy on some people's health because we are, we're all, we all have our own struggles and I don't know I'm an empath. So I like feel for things and I feel for people and yeah,
yeah, and it starts with you that
The passive, right? Yeah, it's exactly like you met me. I was gonna stop judging others because it changed how I? Yeah, so Humanities. Yeah, can do we end every on purpose episode with a final five, which is a fast five round. I ask you a question and you answer
It with the one word or one sentence maximum. So it's super quick and she okay. And we have to whisk you away because you need to you need to go to your next appointment. But okay. So the first question is, what something you're curious about right now?
Oh, I am super curious about I was saying how I love Michael Singer. And I think what I really love I'm reading their surrender experiment right now and I'm only in the first couple chapters. So he's basically this is
not a quick and easy.
Please, please.
He's basically at the first part of the book where he's talking about, how he was curious about meditation and how he got into meditation, and how he really just was like, on a trip with his friends and his girlfriend in the woods and like sat in a corner or sat at a tree and was like, I'm going to just really dive into this and see what happens. That's what I'm curious about right now is just actually like I meditate I do a lot of breathing work, breathing exercises and I just really want to tap in. Yeah, like, Michael Singer. Did I love that?
That's that's, that's great.
Great answer. Second question if there's anything that you're working on personally, right now, what are you working on? On yourself? Is there any?
Yes I'm working on. I'm working on boundaries and I'm working on, not must stress. ER like I can stress about things and my mind and I overthink and I just so I'm really working on like, calming down and just letting things flow better, and not being so controlling over things, especially that I can't control.
Love it.
Question. Number 3, what's your favorite thing about founding 8180, an entrepreneur and being a Founder?
Probably that like I, you know, was a model and I worked for people a lot. I kind of love being my own boss and really being able to have my own creative, a place where I can be creative and just really express my creativity, and have so much fun, doing all of that creative stuff. And I've learned so much and learning about
Culture and learning about the tequila and everything. Like, I've just had the best time. So
I love that question. Number four, what something you used to Value, but you don't value anymore.
Validation, mmm.
Great awesome. Care anymore crayons. At least I'm telling myself. Yes. Yes you have to make it.
No but it's true. Like I used to care so much more about validation I really don't care anymore.
At least. Thank you Fifth and final question. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
Oh, I would do like on like a Sunday. You have to take half the day and like, not look at
your phone or something. Great, I love that.
Actually legit lawyer, that's great.
Yeah, kind of nice or the fold, a lot of work being really crazy. I love that
idea. I love that Kendall Jenner everyone. This was amazing, kind of this honestly and I'm excited to catch up after which to this. There's just so much flow in Synergy in this whole thing happening and I can't thank you more for doing this with me here on purpose. And I hope that this is the first of many times that we did this, but I hope it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship for sure relationship.
And I want to everyone's been listening or watching back at home, please. Let me in Kendall, No Tag us. Letting us know what resonated with you. What connected with you like, what was it that you've got curious about or what was something. She said that just shifted your perspective or where you learn something new. I'd love to hear it. I know there are tons of moments for me where I was listening going. This is amazing. This is incredible. This is awesome. So any wisdom nuggets that stuck out to you. Please let us know because I love seeing what made a difference in your life as well. And
A big thank you to can do for opening our heart and opening up on my. Thank you. I'm honored. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you amazing. If you want even more videos just like this one. Make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here. I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book think like a month from think like a monk. Book.com check Below in the description to make sure you order today.
