The following is a conversation with Mark, Normand a New York comedian, who has a way with words that is often both dark and hilarious. Let that be a warning. Dear friends to proceed with caution. And to wear protection, you may, in fact need it. He has a special on his YouTube called out to lunch and a new special on Netflix, as part of the stand up. Season 3 Series, I recommend you watch. And now a quick, you s mentioned every sponsor. Check them out in the description. It's
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I asked him Dylan about Bukowski first. So let me continue on that tradition and ask you about something that Charles Bukowski said about love. They do we rolling. Yes.
Jeez. No. Hello. No nothing. No. I thought I was robotic
because he said love is a fog that burns away with the first daylight of reality. So Mark normal, let me first ask you about love. What are your thoughts about? Love you, talk about your relationships quite a bit. Do you think love can
Last, I do but I think it's work. Everybody wants love to be this prepackaged perfect. Euphoric thing, but it you gotta
It's like a good body. You know, we're all born with a good body, but you got to keep it in shape and it's the same with a loving relationship. I
think you are. Nobody wants to do the work. That's the problem, you talked about. I think he told a story about being unfaithful to a previous girlfriend or something like that. I think the story goes that.
You are like drifting apart. Who you talking to Bert Kreischer, maybe or
something like that? Yeah, we were high school sweethearts dated for like 12 years. And then so
that was I love anymore. That was more like relation. That was like we had come for it was routine
and we just slipped into that kind of married life autopilot world and
I tried to break up by thinking. It didn't take, it was one of those things. Our lives are just so baked in and then I think I cheated and she caught me and it was ugly. And then we went to therapy to try to work it out. But it's it's much like a car that gets in a wreck the door, just never closes thing. You know what I
mean? Yeah. So what are you thoughts about than commitment like, outside of Love
marriage? I think it's an Antiquated idea. I think it's kind of silly and unrealistic.
And I think we're coming out of that as we get all polyamorous and non-binary and Qui fee and all this stuff. I think we're slowly moving away from that. But I think a lot of the ladies more majority women like marriage. Like the idea of it like I'm gonna I'm I'm a fiance now or whatever you call it the Aged and I mean she is just whoo. We going Hog Wild, she's loving it. He's got the dress thing. Pick a venue flower and she's she's deep in.
As I feel guilty because I'm just like, oh, geez! Is it planned already has a wedding. You see squid game. I'm just living life. Yes. It's it's planned. It's in New Orleans. I'm from there and it's next year.
I got married. No single Virgin, of
course. Yeah, can't imagine. I bet you'd be great in bed. You're ripped the best hairline in
podcasting. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't tried yet. So we'll have to see.
All right. Well, let me know pretty big Hog on.
You yeah, I can see you packing a crazy. Crazy tool. Downtown
that matters two girls.
Apparently, it's all I hear
about. Okay. New Orleans. You grew up in New
Orleans. Yeah, born and raised Treme outside the French Quarter ever been.
Yeah. Don't
remember all you drink. Yeah, drink, of course, I'd drink. No, I can't tell if you have fun.
No, not really but rush. I mean Russian, of course, I drink alcohol. That kind of stuff.
Yeah, I don't
know, but good. Beer was just labeled an alcoholic beverage in 2011. Fun fact, what do you mean in
Russia?
It was just drinks. It was like apple juice before it. Finally got declared legally as an alcoholic beverage.
Which means you can regulator that kind of thing, I guess. So yeah, see that's what your brain goes. Yeah, I just go all these fucking Rusk. I didn't even know there's rules
about drinking. That's good. I'm learning about Russia from you. So what's the difficult memory experience from childhood in New Orleans? That made you the man you are
today? Hmm. I don't have it made me the man but geez, I had a lot of
Scuffles in the neighborhood with I was the white kid in the neighborhood. So I was automatically the odd man out the minority, the weirdo, the Dork, the dweeb, The Honky. So just a lot of memories of like getting slapped in the face by guys and just having to take it because there's like five guys there. And they'd be like, oh look, you don't even fight back and you're like, what am I gonna do? Hit you. And then get beat up by these guys. So a lot of that stuff was a big bummer. Growing up, got robbed all the time.
Lost a lot of bicycles, had a bicycle taken from under me. That was pretty brutal. These kids pulled up. You know, I'm there like 17 and I was 13 and I had a face paint on like I had a not black face, but I was at a summer camp and I had a rainbow face painted on me. We were helping kids that day. So I let them put paint on me. And so now I'm riding ho what a bark. What a-what a goober I am. I'm riding home and these guys see me a mile away. I'm a Sitting Duck and they go.
So we can take his bike. He's got a fucking Rainbow on his cheek. So they just go. Hey, you know, like cutting Frontier. They go. Let me try your bike. I go. I'm good. I'm good. I knew what they wanted, and they go. Let me try the bike and then just push me into the bike. The stuff like that was really a shaping. The insecurity, the self worth.
Did it? Because I've been mugged and I was younger to really. Yeah, it changes. Your view of human nature a little bit.
For sure. You go out and know people could be this mean. There's yeah. Yeah. Inconsiderate. I'm always worried about it, that I fart too much. Am I annoying? My pissing this guy off, but what? A way to live, just I want the bike. I'm taking it. Fuck his feelings,
for me that quickly, turned into realizing that that's just a temporary.
Phase of those folks are in like there's a, they have a capacity to be good. Sure. For some reason for me. That was a motivation to see. Can we discover can? Can we incentivize them to find like a better path in life? Like I wasn't like all like, I don't know Gandhi about it, you know, of course, I was pissed and all those kinds of things but I don't know. It seemed like, just the kind of thing. You might do when you're younger. You
hope what is adult?
Out crime obviously.
Yeah, I know. But yeah. Exactly. And then it solidifies, and then you re on saving at some point, but it's like, there's always, there's always an opportunity to make a better life for yourself than to become a better version of yourself. Yeah, and I remember coming home,
crying, with no bike. And my mom, she's my parents are like liberal to a fault. Yeah, you know where they were like. Oh, well, they need it there. Poor kids in the neighborhood, you know, like, all right, but I
I also, like, I have a bicycle that I ride around, you know, and I also like, to live in an area that's not just, you know, riddled with theft and vandalism, but they were like, are they need it? And it was a, it was a moot point. We just moved on. So I'm a very young being like, all right, I gotta figure my shit
out.
Okay. So you said, you were beat up quite a bit like bullying and stuff.
Pushed around. I was never hospitalized or anything. But you know, you get a black guy here and there and a bloody nose stuff like that. And it was just the outnumbered thing. The violence didn't really bother me because you just kids your boys. Yeah, but it was the
Predatory, let's get them. You know, we can take him down. He's, you know, he's an easy target. That's what kills you. Yeah. Mental part.
Yeah, until you actually said, I didn't realize I've been in. What do you call them scuffles? Hmm, and there's just one that stands out to me, where you
fear, it fatty, bring it on and you do Jujitsu and all that stuff, right? Yeah. Can I steal the guns through the suit? You like John Wick? All right. Why I used to have? Now you
can start making fun of me. I used to have long hair for like a couple of years. I was in a band playing music and stuff like that and there's like most of the fights have been in war.
Basically one-on-one maybe a little bit, like a little extra stuff, but not outnumbered. And this one particular time. I've learned a lot of lessons, but one of them was I there's a fight started between me and this other person and then his buddies, I guess were there. And they as opposed to like, breaking up or letting it happen. One of them grabbed, my hair is the first time. Anybody grabbed like used it.
My hair in a fight which I have since then realized that that's actually a really powerful grip and a powerful weapon. Oh, very visible of you ended. My head got pulled back and they pulled me down to the ground. Like I couldn't do anything. So I remember being exceptionally frustrated. Yes. That was the feeling like, I can't do anything here. I'm like, trapped and then they were just, like, kicking me and hitting me and stuff like that, the outnumbered part of it, because I always kind of remember that trapped part because I just
Heated from a fighting grappling perspective, how like the feeling was? This
isn't fair? Yes. That's what it is. It's a deep deep unfairness. Yeah. That you just can't, you can't win the mob wins. Yeah, the mob wins scary stuff and but it makes it makes a man out of you in a weird way. They builds character you realize life isn't fair early and you go on from there. So it was something there and look at you today. They're probably, you know, eating out of a dumpster at a Krispy, Kreme. And you're here, got eight.
Cast. Yeah, you're doing great. Talking a giant Titans of the
industry. No, I do remember turning home that night. I mean that you said you were crying. That's really formative. Like, oh, yeah, that's the point in which you get to decide. What do I make of this moment? I mean, especially when you're younger maybe it's not presented to you that way. But like some of the greatest people in history were bullied in these kinds of ways and they made something of themselves in this mobile like Bully by life and some kind of way.
An opportunity for growth. It's weird. But like hardship even in small doses is like an opportunity for
growth. Totally. I mean, look at Richard Pryor they say he's labeled as the Best comedian of all time, grew up in a whorehouse, watch his mom, get plowed by these guys and the middle of Indiana. I want to say and it just who had a harder life would suck dick for drugs. All this stuff growing up beat up and then the weird thing is up. Sorry. That's my birth control arm.
And then the, the whole world is like trying to get rid of bullying, but we still do bullying, but now it's accepted bullying. It's very
strange. So you're you're a proponent of beating kids up is that was
yes. Yes, sex with them. All right, but no, I just think it's part of life and it's horrible. It is. It's like rain, You Gotta Have It, Look, A Rainy Days, a bummer, you know, but you need it. And I think it's similar to that.
What was your relationship like with your, your mom, your dad? Well, what are some memorable moments of them? What did you learn from
them? Good parents. The giving thoughtful a little out to lunch, you know, they were workaholic. So that was it was hard to get a lot out of them and my dad was kind of an angry dead. I think he just had like a weird childhood and he's just trying to make it. He's trying to provide but it's hard and we live in this horrible neighborhood.
And we're getting robbed all the time. So life was kind of coming down on him all the time. So that helped take it out on you or whoever he would snap. But great parents, they cared they put us first, but there wasn't a lot of
How do you see that? You know, you ever go to a friend's house as a kid and is like, a picture of a ski trip or like ski trip. What the hell's that about? Yeah. It was a lot of that. And
Smart very smart people. But I don't know how well they were socializing.
So you never like, bonded with them like in a deep human level,
like somebody. But it rarely deep. Yeah. It was just almost co-worker and cold out, huh? What? It's cold out. Uh, oh, yeah, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. I got you get there a little bit but it, my parents didn't. I hope they never do this, but they would do a thing where like Dad especially would do a thing where he would, he know how to cut you down, right to the Bone. And
After a while, you're like, I'm not gonna interact with this guy because he can get you so well, one time we were at a like a Thanksgiving, some kind of family of event and all the cousins are there. And I remember I was holding Court. I was a young boy, my dick, my comedic legs. And this weird tumultuous sea, we call a family and I was killing and my dad comes out and goes. What are you holding court? And I was like and I felt like I was this big. I just shrunk down. He just
Nailed it because in my head I'm like, I'm holding Court. Look at me. I'm a room and he goes, what do you think? What are you holding Court here? Like what the hell? Do you think you are? And I was like, he's right. I should be holding Court. Who the fuck am I up? Nobody. So stuff like that. Was he aware that? You think he wasn't? He wasn't. I don't think he was. But do you give
parents to pass when they're unaware of the destructive? Like, is it better when they're unaware? Because it seems like that's the way that's true. That's way the way parents often fail. Is there not?
Intentionally malevolent, they're just like
Clueless. Yeah, it's a Bittersweet thing is you're like, well, okay, he's not malicious. He's not trying to hurt me but also
He doesn't know, he hurt me. I don't know it's tough because if he was trying to hurt you, I guess that would be worse.
So the, your the fully baked Mark Normand cake at this point. What do you think? Do you, fruit salad, you know, the sense of self-worth? You mentioned.
I think in your comedy, there's a sense. Like you hate yourself. You think what? I was. I
didn't know that came through shit. I was trying to hide that part, goddamn it.
I mean, when you like in the privacy of your mind, are you able to love yourself or is it mostly self
hate this podcast? I didn't know. It was on a mr. Or dr. Phil. Dr. Phil. I thought we were going to talk about engineering, and, and climate change and Rockets got
there. Okay.
It starts with love goes to
Rockets. All right, I like that. I like, that's a t-shirt.
What's the question? Sorry
so I feel loved. No. No.
Yeah. So are you like this engine of being self-critical of just being constantly anxious about how the world perceives you? These kinds of things. Is this something that you just go to for comedy? Or is this who you are as a human being?
I think I I don't want to explore it. I think I get around it.
You know, I tap dance around it, but I get it out a little, with my ACT, maybe because I can't do it. I'm not doing it in real life. So I'll get out this. No love, not loving myself. I don't know who wants to love himself. Everybody was like, you gotta love yourself and then when you meet someone who does love yourself, you're like, I fucking hate this guy. Don't you hate, the guy was upset? I'm great. I'm awesome. Life is good. Like yeah. This guy sucks. I'd rather an insecure guy. So maybe I want to stay insecure. Maybe I do want to find this love for myself.
Well, okay, so
Self-love, like just appreciating who you are like appreciating. The moment of being grateful doesn't have to express Itself by the guy saying I'm awesome true. It's more. Just like humility is just like walking calmly through the world and just being grateful to be alive that kind of thing and just and like all being appreciative, all the accomplishments, the Mesa for I say all this because mostly I'm extremely self-critical and everything I do and so and I kind of enjoy it.
I think it's a nice little engine. That it makes it fun. It makes life fun, because it's like, if you hate everything, you do like you've done in the past that gives you like. All right, we could do
better. Yes, but that's the key is making itself. Critical always trying to get better. I could change this. I could tweak this. I could improve this when you just go. I hate that. I do this. I suck. He shut down. So that's the key is is always being productive with the with the criticism. Yeah, and the
basics of life. I'm just like grateful for it to
Liv. That's nice to be coupled by a couple that
with two leg or this is again the hairline the hog, the muscles, the the the world you got a good brain on you. I mean, you're lucky you're in the top, you know, most people are fat as shit at Burger King right now. Hitting their kids. Yeah, you're in a Ramada Hotel sitting with the, you know, a low-level comedian
for the record. I ate McDonald's last
night. You're human. Well, just so, you know,
this is not me.
Me defending. I'm not sponsored by McDonald's, but I mostly me and there's nothing wrong with the beef. They have. It's actually one of the easiest ways late at night too.
I don't know if it's actually.
It's actually rats. Yeah, you're
right. But hey, it's just me time. A meat guy myself. I say in 20 years. We're going to look back and go. I can't believe people ate meat. I'll get somebody like
slavery. Yeah, there's some mythical difficult things with factory farming.
Yes. Let's ride it out now.
Got it.
And now it's on record. Tom Waits, says something about New York. You like Tom Waits. I
think he's underrated. I think he's got great. He's got a great. He's great at quips and quotes. His check them out on on YouTube. He's got some montages and Supercuts of him being hilarious. What does he say about?
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal
lobotomy. That was the one that was the one that sold me. I was like, this guy's awesome.
Yeah.
But his music is, he's just a genius
musician. Yeah. Anyway,
he was talking about New York as walking around these. I'm in New York right now. We're in New York right now. It's still a magical City to me. A lot of people are quite cynical about it about the state of things, but not not like Michael Mouse. Like a lot of friends of mine. They're just a lot of folks, in the San Francisco, New York. There's something about the pandemic or people have become quite cynical about the place they are, and they tried to escape. It's interesting. I mean, they're asking some
Questions about where they are in life. They're having like a self-imposed. Midlife crisis is good. I think for everybody to go through this process, but I think I hope New York re-emerges. It will as the flourishing place for the weirdos. Anyway, the Tom Wade said, New York, of course is to be an endless surreal situations where a 50,000 dollar gunmetal. Mercedes pulls up in a puddle of blood and out steps. 25 carat blond with a two dollar risk.
Swatch and he goes, he keeps going on. So that gets a guy
that's like bars. He's like a rap. Hey,
he's good. But basically just the absurdity of it, all lots of money. Lots of weirdos, degenerates, and dreamers and the whole, the whole mix of it. Do you think think that's an accurate description of what New York is today? Like, is there still plays for the weirdos and just the interesting artists?
The, the edgy, the comedian's, the, the Creator's, the the, the entrepreneurs, like, as opposed to, like, Wall Street as opposed to like Rich folk and then like hopeless folk. Yeah. I think it's definitely changed a lot. There's
a lot. There's a tiny corner for us. Weirdo artist. New York has to be where you went to make it as a painter or whatever a comedian, or a singer, and there were all these Dives and shitboxes and all these places you could go.
Go. And now there's a now it's more pink berries and Subway sandwiches and Chase Banks. So definitely lost a lot of its Creative Edge. It's just money. Money keeps coming in. And now you see all these comedians moved to Nashville, Austin, Denver, whatever. So it doesn't have the the power used to have, like, you've got to be here if you want to make it. That's definitely gone. So that hurt the city a lot. The city is way more soulless what I moved here in
And I mean, not only did I get mugged three times in the first year, but it was a hub of like, it felt like things were happening here, you know, it was an energy, it was electricity, and we still have the electricity, but it's also maybe just because it's Times Square. There's Soho, there's a Wall Street. So we got the Staples, but there is a little bit of that. It's almost like a marriage. Like yeah, we're in love, but it's not as passionate as it once was.
That's how I would equate New York.
What gives you hope you're pretty hopeful about it though. I'm hopeful just
because I know it's magical and I think it has to be. I mean, it's the epicenter of America like is where the immigrants came. And this is where the stock market is and the entertainment industry have a lot of it is here. So I think it's it's gonna happen. But it also something like the bottom has to fall out and then people have to move back here and all that's a something the corporations are kind of
Going to stay just buying everything.
Well, that's true for everything that all scripture is true Frost and probably as well people just buying out land, all that kind of stuff.
You always hear a Hemingway and Dolly and all these guys went to Paris in the 20s or whatever. That was. Yeah, I get it. Now. I feel like why are these guys going to Paris? You know, why do these artists? And now I get it because it's like, it's Freer there. That's why Austin became like that Paris where Buddy's like I got to get out of La. I am going there and maybe what we can.
Came back from that, you know seventies were wild and 90s were cool. So baby, don't come back. I just take a decade. Well, there's
always, that's how stories are told. There's always pockets of like Paris with in New York. All right. There's just an opportunity to let your weird flourish. Is there a New York? I'm sure they're the mean
it's there. You gotta find it before was front and center.
What's your favorite thing about New York, like what kind of
Things just like, I mean, how long is it spot? I could go on.
It's just it's too much to
put into one hour. We've got
other questions, but I love the one neighborhood is wildly different in the next. I'm in Little Italy. And then you take four steps. Now. I'm in Chinatown. I mean, and then the history there, and then the stories and the food, and the culture and all that, and then you go 10 feet over here. Now, you're in Brooklyn, and this is insane as a whole other world and it's almost like a little America in
in one.
You know, a city and it's great and just the fact that they pulled it off like Fifth Avenue goes way up and you're like there's a Billionaire's house next to a hobo. And then this is a black guy who's fighting with a Cuban guy in an Asian guys, trying to get in the middle of them and the cabbies from the Middle East. And there's so many beautiful women here and there's so many Brilliant Minds here. And the pace is great. It keeps you moving. I mean, it just, you can't beat it and the city won't fuck you in the ass.
Stu. Don't get me wrong. You land at JFK and you're like, oh God, I got mugged. My, my Uber driver called me, a homo. I stepped in and human shit. Where the fuck am I? So yeah, it's bad news, but that bad news. It's almost like the bullying, it kills you in a weird way, but it makes you stronger and you build more layers and layers and layers. That's why some new guys some hayseed from a walkie shows up. You've been here ten years and you go. Let me let me help you out because you're you, you gotta just
Gonna get your ass kicked for like six months, but I know the ropes a little and I think you need a little that if the treadmill is not on.
You're not going to run New York to treadmills on so it just makes you run and it makes you better. Look it wears on you probably lose ten years of your life living in New York versus, you know, Indianapolis, but you know, it's a better life. Have you seen 25th hour? Yeah. Norton. Wild likely
joint. Yes, but the joy and ignoring there's a, there's a whole like monologue there about New York, but they're talking about. Just he has a
Mix. It's there's like Melancholy music. I think or just a Melancholy feel to the whole thing. But there's an anger and a discuss with the city. But through the anger and the discuss comes out like a love for the city. The same with was taxi driver in New York.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, easy.
Yeah. So like that, there's something about. What is that? What is that, that that grit of the city that like, pushes you down? Well, that's the beauty of the city is, its this
tribe.
Oil human nature like the sex shops and fistfights and racism and all tension, but yet it's the epicenter of technology and finance and sophistication on Fifth Avenue. So you get that juxtaposition. It's kind of like a Boston, you gotta buy something at MIT. They got Harvard, they got all this shit and then they got the fishermen, the blue-collar douchebags the Irish guy, the immigrants, you know, and you get that mix of like insanely smart with Wicked pissah.
And these these two worlds that that's what that's a good thing. It's like what a black guy fucks an Asian lady. That's a good-looking kid, you get a mix, you know, we're mixing two totally different things are coming together and it makes it's like peanut butter and
chocolate, peanut butter and chocolate. I never try that. What? Hey buddy, maybe I have some a Reese's like Reese is having the best candy. Yeah.
Without the fakeness of Allah without the without the kind of the facade. Yeah lady stuff. What's the difference between LA comedy? New York comedy
to hmm? I think one place you kind of go to make it and be discovered and be loved and one place you go. You can get all that New York to. But I think in New York, it's more of a school of boot camp of Comedy. Let's make great comedy. Let's make original.
Emily. Let's watch the other guys and gals who were at the show at the clubs and learn from them and try to hang out with them and absorb. Some of them and in l.a., It's like, when am I on? I'm next. Get out of my way. I'm the star here. I'm a bigger star than you. Oh, this guy's actually a big star. I gotta outwork, you know, it's just a lot of that instead of like, damn, that was funny. I got to be that funny. Damn. I wish I had a joke and look, I don't want to speak for La Comics because there's, you know, Bill Burr Anthony Jeselnik.
Nick, brilliant l.a. Comic but they all cut their teeth in New York saying that they moved to LA.
It's good
point. Ali Wong. All these people Killer Comics, but New York started. New York, move to New York.
There's something about Comics to stay in New York for a long time though. Like David tell,
you know about Dave. Yeah. He wants to do this pocket. He does.
Yeah. I'm a huge fan of David but it's like, you know, almost like he doesn't want to make it.
I don't know. I mean, you probably know him but
like,
It feels like you just I maybe it's romanticizing it, but your like, you almost just love the art of Comedy. I like becoming funnier. Crafting, the jokes becoming funnier than the other Comics like competing with each other kind of thing, not over, like money or fame, or any of that, just just purely The Comedy of
it. Totally. That's Dave, that's him in a nut. He's like that guy in the movies in the 80s action movies were there. Like, they go up to a Creek in Montana and some guys live in a cabin and he's sharpening a stick, and they go.
Go. The Russians are coming. They're invading, we need you. You're the best Commando. And he's like, I gave that up, man. I'm done with that. Lifestyle. Do what? You're the best we need you and he has to suit up eventually, you know, he looks at a picture of his dead wife and he goes, Fucking I'm going. And then they, you know, fight the rooskies, but he's that guy. He just is gifted. He's like got a gift from Allah and he's the best.
Yeah, a lot of comics give them props. There's so surprising to me. I didn't because because it's surprising to me because he hasn't
They made it like
big as it in the 90s. He was huge at his own TV show. He
was. Yeah that shows that show was awesome. But I mean like as big as I think he deserves to be. So I
well that's our. The mainstream shit is always the worst. It's like McDonald's versus some hole in the wall. I know I'm shit at McDonald's again, but it's good and you know certain Comics we get name or good but the delicacy is going to be less.
Talk about unless household name me than than the mainstream, hackish
it as funny because he hasn't, he goes on Joe Rogan show once. Maybe, yeah once and and he was with somebody else, Jeff Ross. Yeah. He might, he might have no Jeff Ross. Oh, yeah, because they did that like, to Mike's thing. What if Mike's. Yeah, but he's the quickest guy. There's no one funnier. Yeah. Yeah him and
You your super quick, get your appearance on recent appearance on Roblox Jaleo. Thanks, just so fast. You're wrong with the Aryan saint-gilles shingles. Yeah, that was fun. We're going back in January. None of this is ever come out.
We're having fun.
Yep. All right. So what does it feel like to bomb in stand-up comedy like to fail, maybe the psychology of it first?
Like just take me through it because you were talking about being outnumbered in a fight, being beat
up very similar. By the way. This is a like a no eye contact off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. It's got a nice to be with my people. But yeah, sheet of paper to look at her. I'm gone. I got a good, sweet spot, right there. Yes. Yeah. It's it's a nightmare but it's part of it. You know, it's, it's
The it's the validation to is the worst part like because you know, whenever you do comedy and kill, you can be a great comic but even David tell, he's brilliant guys. They feel like they're getting, you feel like you're getting away with something. I do have a day job. I'm telling jokes for a living. I'm talking about my dick up here and they're fucking loving me and they go me is a genius and all this, affect my sack, you know, and and it's great. It makes people happy and it's funny but that bombing when you bomb you go, your first thought is like, yeah, you're right at first. You're like fuck you guys.
You don't like this shit and then you just start going in your like maybe it isn't that good. Maybe they're right. I do suck. I knew I sucked. I should become a mailman, you know. And it stinks and it feel, you, feel alone. And you feel like you wasted their time. And then you're like, what was I thinking? I could be a comedian? What the fuck? Who am I, you know, Eddie Murphy. What am I doing here? So it's a lot of just spiraling out of horrible thoughts. But I also love that it hurts so bad bombing fucking hurts because
Now, now everybody doesn't do it. I think a lot more people could do comedy probably and figure it out, but the bombing is so brutal that it keeps on time. I went to Minneapolis. I was like, this is a great City. I mean, it's sun is shining. Why isn't this city like packed in there? Like, because the winners are so bad and we love it because it keeps everybody out and I feel the same about comedy. The bombs are so brutal. I've been bombs. Are I'm in the, I'm in bed. I'm just staring at the ceiling. Like, what the fuck was that? Like, you have PTSD? I bombed an arena. Once 20,000 people. I did 30 minutes.
To silence
I guess. So it's not just like one joke fails. It's like they start piling on like, it's a recoverable.
Yes, and one joke failing is very common like a lot of audience don't even notice like that bomb you because you get, you know, you got so many jokes in a row. You can sandwich It Go, and then a bow and then a good one, but when you bomb, it's almost like they chose. We don't like you. Nothing. You say will redeem yourself and it's hard to get out of. It's like, being pulled down by your hair. You can't get back. I can't win this fight. No matter what.
Can you like get him back by acknowledging? Like the elephant in the room? That
like that help. But they're still gonna go. That was funny when he made fun of it, but he sucks. He's
still sucking still sucks.
That's the worst part. You're going. No, this is good. You guys just don't like me. Just cause you don't like me doesn't mean I'm bad.
Yeah, I like going to open mics a lot. Just just listening because
First of all, I think the audience in the open mic, at least the ones I've been to is most, I guess, other comedians, it or like, at least people who don't seem to want to laugh at anything. And so I just love it because it's human nature and perseverance is best. But here's comedians, like clearly. This is mostly in Austin. They have a dream. Like why would you get up there? Right?
Likely some weird, you know, New Year's resolution bullshit, but for the
Most part, it's people who want to be a comedian,
like a lot of open majkrzak people who clearly have done this for quite a long time. Yeah, like at least a year to maybe five years and they're often not very funny and
The just bombing in front of an audience of like 20 where they're just sitting there like almost like mocking them with their eyes, or maybe. And I don't know, and they still push through, they still, they still like, as, if they're doing an arena and everybody's laughing. Yes, still they still got that energy trying almost like to an audience.
That doesn't exist like an audience of their dreams, because I guess that you have to do that to keep the energy of the ACT going. And it's just so beautiful to watch them. Try it. This is and also the what happens Open Mic. I don't know, five minutes, whatever they do, they, you know, walk off and that walk back, you know offstage and and like you can't who do they look at? Like, what do you look? Do you make eye contact with people? Do
you look at your phone?
Look at your feet de just zone out. You kind of
gotta go Whiteley. Do you just hear white noise and go out? It's tough.
But you got it. You need a little added, a little delusion, to be a comedian to get into it. It takes a little bit of delusion. Like you think you can do this, you know, you got ten years ahead of you of hell and you're up for this. And you know, most Comics. We see a horrible crowd and we see our friend bomb and we go. Yeah, he's bombing, but I'll get them, I'll get them and then you don't get them, but that's that's human nature to is like I don't like him, but they'll like me and you need a little of that to keep going.
Comedian, we don't want too much delusion because then you're a psycho, but you need a little.
Well. The psycho could be good for a comedy.
That's true. Dude. That's like us.
I meant to you Offline. That talk to Ilan and we talked about doing stand-up think, he's thinking maybe do a few minutes of stand-up.
Say, if you need a coach, he Lon, I got you.
Well, maybe you should move to Austin to coaching
full-time. Hope they can fly me. And
so what, what advice would you give to somebody?
Who wants to try to do five minutes? Like the early steps of trying to go to an open mic and say something
funny. Well, that's the irony of Comedy is one of its irony, but it's like the beginning is the hardest part. Usually the beginning is easy part. Hey, I'm playing this level of Mario at start a jump over one Koopa, Troopa, whatever. And then the and is like Jesus Christ. I got 30 guys, coming at me, comedy is the opposite. The beginning is like,
It's a gauntlet. It's just obstacles. And like you said, open mics you. I watch these famous comedians on Netflix and you go, this would all bomb an open mic there, killing and, you know, Radio City. There's a bomb in it, open mic. That's the weird part. So it's almost you have to go through hell just to get to the promised land and I would say rehearse the shit out of it because you're going to get frazzled up there. Everybody thinks. Oh, this is good material. But you also forget about the other part of delivering it having confidence being likeable.
Having timing having a Cadence figuring out who you are figure out what the audience thinks you are or how they perceive you, because you can go up there and say, all this, but they go, that's the guy, he's clearly gay. Why is he acting? Like, he's not gay, you know, that's all there. Now. They're not listen to the joke. So, like, you gotta know how you look. And it's just repetition repetition and bombing is not failure. That's what you got to remember. I mean, look, if you do a killer hour and then you take it to Netflix and bomb, you fucked up but bombing is not failure. It's just
Data, it's going on. Okay, I got to retool that that didn't work something wrong. There. They might miss the word there. So you got to treat the the ACT almost like like like ingredients in a cooking in a dish, you know, like, oh that I put too many eggs in. Take an egg out. You gotta treat it like that and look when you pull it a bad cake out of an oven. You go. I fucked up but it doesn't hurt your feelings. But when you bomb and fuck up, it hurts your feelings, so you got to factor that into your
Feelings could be hurt and just almost be a robot and just keep going. Towards that open mic, you know. Scary it open mic is bombing sucked with bombing in front of other. Comedians is way worse because they know what just happened and they could have saved you and they didn't. So it's way
worse and they're going to be your quote-unquote friends
back for this journey. Yeah. These are evil people most Twisted fucked up. Work people.
Can you tell like in those early days? Let's just talk about that. Like the open mic level. That a joke is going to be good on paper. Like I'll give you my experience because
Maybe you can be my coach in this particular limit. So Larry Nasser,
that's fun. Joking everybody. Hope nobody. All right, seriously, there's a now
have an amazing team of folks who helped me with editing and they're now currently sweating.
You got to leave that one in that was quick. Yeah, that's probably all eat that one.
That was good. All right, so, you know
Going in front of an audience. Just even to give a lecture terrifies me, which I've done, but open my, I mean that to me, perhaps, that's why I like going open mics and listening is cuz I just it terrifies me so much, that idea. Yeah, of going up there and bombing. I mean, it's scary. And to do even like one minute, to be honest, too scary and five minutes. I'm also watched enough open mics to realize that five minutes is a long time. I mean depends on
Comedy, but if you're doing fast stuff, five minutes is a really
long time. So it's eternity.
I guess it was a long story, too, is a long time because if it's story is not work, you're building up to something if the story is going to fail. Yeah, you just spent all that time. Telling the story that completely went flat completely got nothing. I guess if you have a series of jokes, you can at least try to recover and like, do the, Mitch Hedberg thing where like, all right, I'll cross that off. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, well, I'm able to like I've tried to write a few things and I'm able to tell that it's really bad.
Hahaha. Well, I like better than most most people's egos. Kick and they go now, this is good.
No, see I'm able to introspect that like it seems funny. I mean, I guess the thing I'm looking for is original like there's easy stuff that you think it's funny but to me originality is the thing. You should be looking for because then because then
That's what's actually becomes funny like or rather. If its original even if it bombs, that feels like more a beautiful art creation that you did like at least you swung for it like you did something unique because they're like even with Open Mic your first five minutes. There's so many just gold enough open mics. You'll hear like all the there's like a list of jokes. They just go to. First of all you can make fun of the fact that you're a tall boy.
Mike that you're like doing this is the first time and so on, you could do a lot of stuff for you. Make fun of your appearance in some way, so on. But like yeah, you could do that. You know, that takes actually, that's way harder than people realize to do it in an original way. Yes, took present who you are as a person, very quickly enough to then put that person down in front of everybody else. You have to reveal the
appliances like that because I go he knows what we're thinking.
Yeah, exactly, but do it again in an original way and so like when I'm trying to write stuff when it's not that I've tried long, it's like 30 minutes. But as enough to see like oh shit, the to write something original is really
difficult. It is, what do you got a bit anything? No, I didn't write any one line or anything for this? No. Well, just in general ever in your life ever written a joke. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Okay. No, but I don't have anything in my mind popped up. So the
The the jokes that I've written have more to like for some reason, my mind goes to like dark places. So, you know, like and not actually dark in the mark Normand dark because you go really dark to where it's like almost absurd. Yeah. My natural inclination is to go to like a dark historical like place like Hitler and Stalin. Yeah. And almost
I said, go to that place and then talk about something absurd there. So like don't go like.
Like all the way, I don't know. I don't want to give examples because be clipped, but the, but the mark Normand style. Look it up. He has a special on this YouTube, that kind. I want to go almost explore the dark ass because human nature more kind of connected to actual historical figures. That's the, that's the inclination. Like, I don't know, Nature's metal, the the Instagram channel that that explores like the darkness of nature last, like something there.
See, that's good that you already know that you've kind of gotten to the core of your comedy already. And that's interesting. Step step ahead. Yeah, I
can hear. I'm with most thing I do in life. I can like hear the music from a distance like in myself, like okay if you have anything, this is the direction you'll be without actually knowing exactly. All the steps and that's the nice motivation to be like. All right. Well, if you do this for a long time, maybe you'll have a chance to get there, right? But you have to either that. That's where the it's
A feature to be super self-critical. I think, yes, but then that's why it's fucking terrifying to walk up to the stage stand there and probably forget
everything. Yeah, that's the other part. Nobody thinks about just goes right out of your head. You go fight or flight. It's ugly. My first years, were horrific bombing horrific stammering, horrific not remembering the punchline, like you got to eat. Maybe you got us set up going and they're kind of on board. You like, as a camera, my camera goes, and you just hate yourself. It's it's a
Are but you've already kind of, maybe you haven't done stand-up or whatever. You kind of know your voice and that's, yeah, that's pretty
Advanced. So you're not trying to be somebody else. I guess. Yeah, just for having done, like, podcasts, and lecture, and so on, you've embarrassed already done, some of the work of the standards do, which is embarrassed yourself in front of others for prolonged periods of time. Yes. Yeah. So I'd done that without actually developing the funny
espresso. Right? Right, but maybe
the funny just
It is not that difficult to develop know. It's super difficult, of course, but I mean, maybe the essential work of a stand-up comedian is just the embarrassment of like, finding who you are.
Yeah, that's a part of it. For sure. You know, the beginning, you're like water bottle. What's funny about water bottle. I'm a funny guy. I can make this money, but that ain't. That's not it, you know, it's your shit, your shit. Like your dark stuff for me. I tend to gravitate towards dark but in a weird way where you know, people will say like, hey, don't objectify women.
They go, Caitlyn, Jenner's, beautiful. And you're like, well, wait, I know, something's off here. Why can't you objectify her, but not the supermodel. So what's going on there? And I like to play with that. So I have this Joker, I say a Caitlyn Jenner. Oh, women go, Caitlyn. Jenner's, beautiful. Beautiful woman, I go. Well, you look like her and they go fuck you. And your like, there's a lot of Truth there, but I like exploring that kind of all you're trying to get one over on me or
You're lying to yourself. Or what are we doing here? And I like, I like that kind of Comedy.
I don't see color. Well, I'm black. No, you're not. You know, that's funny because you're you're lying.
Yeah, you okay. So, like big-time comedians such as yourself, don't like to think of yourself in this way. But yeah, this is like where you over Phyllis philosophize comedy, but it seems like comedians.
Don't say important. Nothing worse than a comedian who thinks they're important. Yeah,
so I was going, I was trying to find as I was trying to say these words every realize how cliche it is and how uninteresting it is, so I'm going to just
But there is something more.
This whole thing is an interesting. I'm like, who cares about comedy? There's like six comics on the planet, but nobody cares. Okay. This is just a few in the, in the pilot seat. You know what you're doing. You got, you got listeners.
They've tuned out long
ago, Dan Carlin on here, huh? Is he
around? Yeah, which is going back and forth on Twitter just now has a huge fan. He was on here before he'll be back. Right? I've been actually really trying to volunteer myself aggressively with
Dan Carlin for for like a Russian episode where I could speak Russian. I there's there's certain documents. Say I talk with Jack about this to certain things. I mean, I just love the challenge of bringing Russian documents that I can read in Russian and they can translate and can try to capture the the depth of the writing in in the Russian language and communicate to the American audience. So much is Lost in Translation. Like there's so much pain.
In poetry in the Russian language, it's just connected to the culture of every language, not every language, but many languages are uniquely able to capture the culture of the people. I mean, in some way that are the representation of the culture of the people. That's so Russian is definitely that like represents the full history and culture of the 20th century will all the atrocities all the all the broken promises. All those kinds of
things Norm says Russian literature is it's the most tapped into human.
Stints than anything else,
Norm
Macdonald. Yeah, big big Russian literature guy Dostoevsky, all that shit.
It's funny that there is a gap of comedians to there's a culture of Russian comedy like stand-up comedians that are tolerant. Yeah. I don't know these Russians. I mean, I don't know. Today. I'm, I mean, more from the 80s and 90s and there's a off that. No, I know. That's not. So there's like, of course, that's that's,
I've never seen it out of bed. No, no, it's not
offended as a different.
There's there's a there's like the kinnison's and the there's the edgy. Is that Russian? What do you mean? Wait? I thought you said there was a Russian Comics. You have Russian cup. I'm commentary male. I'm giving you them giving you a, like, a style of Darkness. Like, that's the kind of people that kind of challenge they give again. This is to home important. Comedians are, is they give a voice to people were in the Soviet Union. You
Really can't like express your opposition to the government. And so comedians are exceptionally important there for just just, I don't know, channele, the anger, even when sometimes it's not the actual opposition to the government. There's just channeling, the anger, the frustration with the absurdity of life. Like, you know, when there's a shortage of food, shortage of jobs, the the absurdity of the bureaucracy, like, the top heavy government.
Current. Just all of that can only sometimes, be expressed with like dark absurd, humor. And that actually, why there's a culture of that kind of humor. You know, you gather on the table with vodka? Yeah, and all you can do is just talk. Shit. Yeah. And just
be a defensive say horrible shit. Ball bust. I mean I make school shooting jokes and people go. How do you do that? I'm like, well, maybe that's how I deal with it. Yeah, you know, like, how come I gotta go?
I gotta empathize the way you do. Maybe
we're different.
All right. So now let's skip the whole Open Mic thing and crafting jokes stuff. Kerouac said, one day. I will find the right words and they will be simple. When do you know the joke is done. It's perfect. You're all somebody that does like really sharp like Fast jokes. Well, thanks. So like there's somebody, I don't know. I don't know who you see yourself in.
Same school as like had your your your darker and faster than Hedberg. I think in terms of like just I don't know. The turns you take a very
hot. Thanks. I appreciate it. I think I got some nor McDonald and maybe one. That's right, you know, obviously Norm, but Chris Rock was huge for me. Chris rolled like 90s, Chris Rock was like, I didn't know you could do jokes like that. I always loved George Carlin, and Groucho Marx and Bill Murray. There's so many different types of Comedy, but,
But when I saw the bigger and Blacker bring the pain, I was like, oh my God, this is like, hey hit me. So that was big and then Norms just like the funniest guy on the planet. So him him being the smartest guy in the room, but acting dumb was great. So yeah, I Chris Rock has that way of cutting to the bullshit, which I mentioned earlier. I like that cutting through the bullshit kind of style of Comedy because you kind of go. Oh, I'm not crazy. That's what I thought too. I was too scared to say it, but I thought that and he's saying it.
Room of people are laughing. Maybe I'm not an idiot. So that helped me
so it's observational but not Jerry Seinfeld observational. It's like look going to the darker thing. Yeah, just like within
Society but I like him too. But seeing it doing it about stuff like in your life
Society. Yeah, raise gender government. Yes, posix, all that kind of
stuff. Exactly getting angry sex, human emotions jealousy, whatever it is.
That's the good
stuff.
How'd you feel when Norm passed away?
That was a bummer because he was, you know, what 61, and I just didn't see it coming. And I just, I've watched so many hours of his stuff and I met him and he's like, he was like this comedic bar like a, we got Norm, you know, there's so much shit comedy. Then you see normally like this is next level. This is Savant type shit. And then to lose him is like, AA, Norm had 20 more.
Years, at least of just content and content and thoughts and his point of view and that's will never get that. That
sucks. Yeah, there is something about artists like Jimi, Hendrix dying's. Yeah, really? It's like you wonder what was next. Yeah, what was next? But then part of it is like, you know, it all ends. For all of us and is walking away early.
Is its kind of admirable? It's almost like I did a pretty good job. Yeah, I'm good with that. Especially the way he did which is not telling
anybody. I know nine years is best friends didn't even know. And in this world of like victimhood and I need clicks and I need people to love me. He could have plea got you know, cancelled and yelled at and trouble. And he could have pulled that cancer card and he never did. I mean the Integrity on this motherfucker
and you get a chance to interact with them. Like what?
It half and you meet him.
I met him once at The Comedy Cellar and we chatted for five minutes and then he went on and did the Letterman set that he did. He was running the Letterman set and sweet guy. Nice guy didn't know him that well, but I mean he just brilliant and I also love a brilliant guy who does stupid stuff. That's a fun fun little combo there like silly guys who were actually brilliant. Also, you know, like Louis c.k. Is a brilliant comic and he'll do a joke.
Talk about farting on a kid and you're like, that's great that he still finds farts funny and he's also this comedic genius guy.
I like that. And doesn't really acknowledge genius.
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
I like I like smart people. They're silly.
Yes. That's a good combo. Like you said Elon is silly. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Because we taught we teach kids like hey, put that down. Stop that quit. Cutting up. Quit horsing around, but maybe that's some kind of sign.
Brilliance
there. Yeah being like childlike and silly is is a kind of wisdom. I feel like those people away wiser than the people that no offense to me wear a suit and take themselves way. Too seriously,
but you got a spark in you a little here. You got a little what's awkward not elf imp limpin you give that a go get know. What imp? Yeah, it's like a little set of
Tolkien character imp. Yeah, my
A European mythological being similar to a fairy or a deal. He called me a fairy
frequently.
Okay? Similar to a fairy or a demon feel like that's a big leap.
Big leap. Yeah, that's not a great info by. Oh,
they're frequently described in folklore and Superstition the word may perhaps derived from the term impossible. The why used to denote a young grafted tree.
It's a little mischievous. You got a twinkle your the serious buttoned-up guy.
This is a twinkle.
Is it twinkle?
And the audience can see the twinkle? And that's why you resonate. I think now, I'm sorry
deep analysis by Marc Norman psychological analysis. Okay, but then back to the crafting of the joke. He said Chris Rock normal Donald like what for you? How do you know when the joke is like done? Is, are there some jokes? And you're like are proud of like, wow, that that's that's well
done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the joke is done. It's a
Tough question. Because there's so many different kinds of jokes is what we call a chunk, which is a big idea with a bunch of jokes in the middle of it, and then a big Crescendo at the end or there's a one-liner or there's a tag of a joke. That's also a joke. So, the jokes coming different. Like I have a joke, right? Say I met my girl in that Jewish app. What's that Jewish app called PayPal? Yes.
That's the hell, that's the direction you want from the other crowd. But it's a fun turn because you say your thing and then I hit you with a misdirect and that's what a joke is. A joke is basically me saying something that makes sense, but you didn't see it coming. Yeah, and that's a perfect example that so that joke took forever to figure out by the way, you know, and you have
to go to different services like PayPal. What's funniest?
Exactly and I figured PayPal's funny because it has worked pee in it. Yeah, you know venmo de it's also not really a
Good work venmo. PayPal. It just hits better.
Yeah, PayPal is funnier
somehow. It's funny or so. And that's the beauty of come. There's a weird little magic into it. You can get technical all day and formulaic, but there's still that little bit of fairy dust that you don't know why this is funnier or input dust if dust.
Yes. Why? Okay,
so, you know what joke is done when it kills. And if this is a roundness to a joke, when you feel like this is buttoned up. There's this is done. Here
is Simplicity the right word there.
Yeah, so like you're chopping stuff away or you adding stuff. Like what does it feel
like Simplicity is always the best angle. I mean, you can get real high concept with a joke and still make it work. But the simpler the better. I saw Dave Chappelle on stage once and Chris Rock and Demetri Martin were in the back watching in awe and Dave's. Well, I can't remember the joke, but he said something about sex or women and Demetri Martin goes, that's a little easy and Chris Rock goes. That's why it's good. And I
Earring. That is a young comic, like, I'm getting this like, you know, comedy lesson right here for these two Titans. And so that was fun. Simple is key.
So the easiest okay, that's such a weird. I think, I remember reading or hearing Eminem say something about, maybe the song, Some shape, the one of the songs. He's like I knew was going to be good because it got like really repetitive and annoying very quickly. So I mean, that's the sort of the
Equivalent of is too easy. Like if it's like super catchy as a musician, you might get very quickly bored of it as you're creating it, Nas to this too easy. It's like, there needs to be some more complexity to it. But
I like complexity. But the best guys who are the ones who make complex shit, look, simple like you ever heard that a Ben Franklin story where he's talking to his friends friends? Like I'm gonna start a hat store.
Puts a sign outside says hats for sale, $12 and Ben. Frank looks at it goes. Well, you don't need the $12 because you know, you all they need to know is that you got hats for sale? Is all right. So he loses the $12 makes a new sign hats for sale. And he goes, you don't, you don't really need for sale because it's a business. People can put that together. So he just goes. All right. It makes a new Sciences hats and then Ben Franklin's like, you know, you don't really need the word hat. You can just put a picture of a hat and he made a new sound. Just a picture of a head is like, help the
- there's something that's like some old wives tale or whatever. But I think about that all the time when I'm writing.
I thought this is going to like there was no sign it went like super, like
maybe nihilistic that could work too.
What like, as a comedian. So I'm a fan of yours. Enjoy. I really enjoy you in
conversations. Like, how does your Al get none of that? I'm just, this is all right. I can't tell like, emotion feel your tough not to read cold inside.
I mean, just the quickness. You have obviously, you also agree stand-up comedian. What's your favorite medium to shine in? So you have a podcast yourself, an excellent podcast, you're often the podcast guest. Yeah, which is always fun to listen to you. How you're going to deal with the different people. You're great on Rogan. What? What do you enjoy
most podcasts are great because you can, you can stretch out a little more. You can breathe a little
You know, with a stand-up said, I like to be like, boom, boom. Boom. Boom, boom, but podcasts are great because it's conversational. So you can be it's almost like you're being funny with your friends. Whereas the stage is like a, this is a piece. This is a presentation, but I think the podcast is great, but you don't get the reaction. Unless the host is laughing. You can't hear the guy in his car, in New Jersey, driving to work on, ah, every now, and I'll read a comment, like, I spit out my coffee, when you said this and I'm like, but it's not immediate. You want the immediate.
So, stand up will always be number one, but there's no better feeling than killing in a room of people who don't know who you are strangers. You're in the middle of nowhere. You left your wife at home. You left your kids. You look your house, you're in the middle of bumfuck dick Ville and murdering for these hillbilly. Nobody, whatever it is and they're slinging their beers and woo cheering you on and they carry out and you fucked some fat lady and you leave and you get back to your hotel and you go. Holy shit.
What was that? No one will ever know about it. Just lost in The Ether. That's the best feeling. Yeah, killing in obscurity is Bill Burr. Would say.
Yeah, this one I think that sucks about giving lectures like at universities are giving lectures in general. Is when you look at the audience, you know, several hundred students. They're all have a board look on their face. Yep, you're like even like my my face. Now probably looks bored, but I'm actually excited to be talking to you, but there's something about just there's something about a comedy called. Maybe this is the contagion of laughter.
But like it gives people the freedom to just laugh to like to remove that facade of like you don't have to, you don't have to pretend like you don't care. Like if you care, you can show it. And yeah the fun with Allah probably Liquors hotel to. Yeah, it
helps for sure. But there is a especially and that's why comedy thing is so popular right now because HR is up RS, we're scared of old tweets, that might come back to haunt us. What did I say on that interview? Even people that offices are like, I
Put something on Facebook in 1999 that was about fat tits that I liked. Should I get rid of that? Even people say like, there's no cancel. Whatever there is something in the air right now and that wasn't there before. Yeah. It's the video. I'm a care and I got caught at Trader. Joe, whatever it is. This people rat on each other now, everybody's tattletaling because they want the clicks. It's a horrible Society we've craft but
Stand-up comedy gets you to come out and now people do it at stand-up shows to sadly, but it gets you to come out and let that inhibition down like because we're all human, we've all had the fucked-up thoughts. Like, oh man, that guy's fat as shit. You let me hate the guy that me hate fat. People didn't your fat shaming but you can't say that at the office, you get go Bob, you're fat as shit. You can fire your body shaming but at the club you go, that guy's bad as shit. The Crowd Goes is weird. Cathartic thing is all we do is tap shit down.
Down. It's kind of like ever meet a girl, who's like all prim and proper than the bedroom. She's like, put a lap up my ass, you know, whatever it is. It's because we gotta get it out. We're all repressed in some way.
So I guess what you're saying is commies important
call back. All right, play it
sir. Yeah, we think about Austin. What do you think about the comedy scene? Also, talk about l.a. New York. What do you think about what Joe's trying to create there? So, I
I should say that the reason I moved to Austin have this dream of wouldn't be funny for said this dream of becoming a comedian audience at least. Yeah, that's true. You know, I was said, you can hear the music in the distance. I, you know, I have this dream around Robotics and artificial intelligence. Whether it's a company where there's something else that was just pulling me to do. I actually want to move to San Francisco and then all my friends in San Francisco said, no, it's the wrong place. Yeah. To it's not, it's at this time the
This is the cynicism, there is just not conducive to like, taking big leaps into the unknown, excited about the future kind of thing. And, and Austin was that with, for me, in particular, with Elon Musk. But also just the energy that everybody had, including Joe, the excitement about the future. I don't care if Austin Burns to the ground and it actually is a complete failure, being excited about the future. Seems to be like
About the future seems to be the thing that actually makes that future. Happen makes a great feature happen. So, it's always cool for me to see like Joe, super, excited about creating like a culture in Austin, like a making it a comedy Hub, like, yeah, I don't want to overstate it. But he, I mean, I think he really believes is will be a very big place for comedy. Yeah. In the United States in general, in the world. And so, just even believe in that that's powerful, like
I guess you start to make it start to make it happen. That energy is there anyway, so but that's for me from just an outsider watching the fun of I should also mention for less of an outsider more inside of in the martial arts World partially probably because of Joe, I'm not sure John danaher Gordon Ryan, the B-Team, all those folks. Those are that might be gibberish to you. But those are like some of the greatest Grapplers and martial artists of all time.
So, it's also becoming this Hub of martial arts. So, the whole the whole thing is just beautiful. Anyway, what what are your thoughts about that
scene? Well, there's a lot, a lot here, a lot of things to mention one. I think Joe did do that to it at a degree, you know, like all these people is to go or lives there. Now, a lot of comics live there. He's opening clubs, other clubs are opening. I think it's happening. That's the other thing is people go, everybody's moving to Austin, Austin's, the new Hub and then they look at their watch and
I go five minutes, went by. Nothing changed. It's Gonna Take Years, you know, but everybody wants it. Now now now what awesome there's no industry there, you know, there's no Netflix, whatever and you're like, yeah, I know, but it it needs a minute. You can't just do this overnight. So people forget that. So it could happen huge. Just give it some time. I mean, he's opening a club. I went and saw it. It's incredible. Like, it's so perfect comedy. It's every detail. It's incredible. But so,
It could happen still, I do think where there's a little biting off more than they can chew with Austin, because it's not that big.
So, like a spread on me. And yeah, it's not big. And and the infrastructure is not quite exactly the support it, but it has a lot of, you know, preparing for my, from the text side for, it has a lot of land to expand into. So I become this else like you basically establishing. It's kind of like when you your cure stablishing these whole neighborhood,
Yeah, yeah. And you have the freedom to do that because there's a lot of space on all
sides. Yes. Okay, so that helps. So again, maybe sometime, I do agree with this, that new hope that's kind of built into human beings of like,
let's go to America.
Let's go to Utopia. We even have it with space. Let's go to Mars. We gotta see what's over there, and it's just red, Dusty bullshit, but you still gotta go. So, I'm with you on that, about this new hope, this new land. And I think that is beautiful.
And I think as a lot of haters, and there's a lot of naysayers who hate change, who hate anything new and then I think you gotta go. Hey, that hurts. That sucks. But blow me dickless. I'm trying something. You're a loser. Stop hating on me. I mean, how many people hate Elon Musk? You know?
Yes, hilarious. I mean, there's some of the criticism on Austin would be. It's like a fad. Like a lot of people really. Yeah. I really people are excited about Austin and somehow that's like it's like when Green Day became
Famous you no longer want to write be a fan of green day. But to me, like that's
also, was already a cool town. Like every comic five years ago is like, oh, I got Austin this week and I can't wait. Yeah, so it already had a buzz, but some people think maybe the buzz was the cool part. The fact that it was like this off-the-beaten-path city, and now I get to visit it and then leave, but I think you could still be this comedy Tech. Booming place. It just will take some time and people want it, right.
Out, well on the tech side. It's it's already there. It's is getting there very fast. So I mean, you know, I was really pushing that with the factory. It's just a huge number of people are moving there with jobs like you're ready, starting, and then the opportunities to launch new companies is just incredible. I guess it's not right now. It's like within months within a year that kind of thing but like it's an opportunity to just start to
Build shit in a new place and it's cool. It's kind of like, you know, go to Mars. They could get to start over.
Yeah, and I like the Hope aspect. I think that's huge for people and I'm all for it. I hope it works out. I don't know if it will, but I don't know anything about economies and City skanz Planning and all that shit. So it might be too early to say, but I hope it works.
He's still talking about Austin or
Mars. Austin, Mars is in. There's nothing there. There's no, but
I know there there's no food. There. There's no water there. I don't know. It seems I get space travel. I think it's important but I don't know. Mars is really gonna move the needle.
So what are your thoughts about Elon Musk and SpaceX and launching Rockets into space?
Like it's all good because you could say, hey, we could just feed everybody and it's like, yeah, that's true. By the way, these guys give a ton of money to like philanthropy shit that nobody cares about by the way.
Hey, you know, it's we're like he could feed the diver Nigeria and with pocket, change of his and you're like, well, maybe he has, you know, like I heard Bill Gates gave back so much money saved Six Million Lives. Yeah, but that's a reverse Holocaust by the way, that's pretty good. What have you done? You're a barista. So, you know, I just think I think space travel is good because you learn about the place you're living in from going to space. It kind of helps. You learn about this more.
You could say what's the point of going? There's other there but it does help. I think. Yeah. Doing difficult
things in the engineering space seems to be a way to develop like, as a as almost like an accident, as a side effect of doing a really difficult thing in a team of brilliant people. You develop things like the internet and you could argue that the internet. Maybe he's not so good for society. Nah, I'm just
kidding 8. Good and bad. Yeah, but it's like a pull-up. You're trying to get your bicep going, but hey, but before you know, you got decent forearms.
We're working on the forearms you wanted to buy, but you got the for and I think that's kind of what space travel is.
I like how this like pivoted into a workout routine? Advise
our Dragon get an analogy going here.
Alright, they work pretty well. I'll take it. All right, what are your thoughts about since I'm a robotics person to be curious to see, like what?
Do you think about the space at all about? First of all Thomas vehicles with Tesla autopilot and way Mo self-driving car. And I'm not sure if you're familiar with all the autonomous vehicles and so on. So those are robots on Wheels and then there's also legged robots. So next time you're in Austin you get to meet some of the legged robots haven't been working on and I find those kind of a fascinating way to
For the nature of intelligence in our computers, but also explore our own intelligence and also explore our own. Like what makes us connect to other living beings? Whether it's dogs cats or other humans, like there's some magic there that that's beyond just intelligence and I like when I have the robot dog, there's some aspect to it that I don't know. Brings me joy.
Oi in a way that a dog does. Anyway, that a good friend does. Yeah. Then and I'm not sure if that's some kind of anthropomorphism like why I'm projecting, right? My hopes for this, what this thing is, but, but it's kind of built in. I mean, it's just a source of Joy. Maybe it's connected to the fact that there's just like a loneliness within all of us within me, and it's just nice to have other things in your life that move that recognize you, that kind of
I suppose it's nice to even just have a plant.
Yeah, it is plant goes a long way. You see a guy with planten's apartment. It changes the apartment because they're alive, you gotta water him. You gotta put this on on them. So yeah, I think there's something there and I think you can see people's reactions when you show them advanced technology. Like these dog, robots are these robots of dance and shit. People are like, what the fuck? Like it hits home in some way, whether it's fear or you want to fuck them, clearly whatever it is, but it does connect with you.
In some way. So I'm with you and I think this is why I don't think robots will take over. I always hear that robot. They're making them to advance. They're going to wipe us out while blah.
If robots get it, human emotions that is scary because they could, they could get mad at us and kill us, and they're stronger. And they don't need sleep. They don't need food. They don't need water. They don't get jealous. They don't, you know, but if they have emotions that I think we can dominate them. Because who's that emotion? Who knows, emotions? Better than us. We've got thousands of years of evolutionary emotional bullshit. We can go. Hey robot hurt you your wife fucked, that Black & Decker, huh? They're gonna crumble we can bully them.
Emotionally manipulate robot. Yes, that's when we'll win right now. They could kill us. They could just bring we'd all die. Then. We shoot them back. Bing bing bing bing. That's no good. But if they do get emotions, then we can go ahead. Your you look like hell? What is that? A rusty bolt, a drop in some oil there? You know, you loser. I think we can win if we, if they do get a motion.
So this goes back to your father, being able to undercut you with a single word.
You're right. Yeah. So we're the creators of the robots and the robots
will just use say the
Exact thing. Yeah, with the robot will be like that's not of a
bitch and goes back
to his hole and just sits there miserable,
right? Hardware, looks more like software to me. He can't get it up. Yada yada yada. Yeah, but I'm not worried about robots and I think self. What do you think about the self-driving cars? Is that just wiping out the horse? And buggy? Isn't that just progression of Technology? Yeah,
so I don't know if you've driven in a Tesla. For
example, I have I wrote it in the past.
Test-drive it.
Yeah, there's several stages in that. I think it's the problems way harder than people realize and for quite a while. It'll just make driving more pleasant. It'll make it less stressful. It'll take over some of the boring bits for you and make it easier. Like there's something that happens. Actually when the car is driving for you in the following way like it's staying in the lane. It's keeping distance to the car fire you, maybe it's changing lanes. It allows you to relax a little bit like yes.
You become useless to be alert, but you become like a passenger and you get to like taking the world. I mean, it's somehow that's more relaxing, without making you necessarily like board more. It's energizing more. So, I just think it makes the Driving Experience more pleasant. But when you actually fully automate cars, when you can just completely tuned out and start reading a book or go to sleep. That might change.
Society like in ways we don't even understand because you'll have an in the the probably change the nature of Roads because the car is because now you can be super productive. Yeah, and so no longer quite matters to you as much. How long it takes to get from point A to point B because you're not wasting that time you just continue working. Yeah. It's like public transit that comes to you exactly and
So there will be maybe less roads and bigger roads and it will just change the nature of how we get from point A to point B, you're right. But that cut then couple that also with the fact that we seem to be more and more comfortable existing in the digital world. Yeah. So like maybe we won't want to go outside more and more. We will just interact with each other virtually and I don't mean Zoom meetings. I mean just in other ways that's that's that's more fulfilling than a zoom meeting that there's
But then maybe not because like there's something deeply uncompelled link, but about Zoo meetings, like podcasts that are remote unless they're super information dense, at least to me as a podcast fan kind of
suck. I suck. There's no connect, it goes back to the dog thing with the zoom is no connection.
Yeah, and we're not, you know, I don't understand why they're not even making eye
contact. It's this is something there. It's in the room. This pheromone. That's like, out of our understanding probably. It's some kind of weird.
You ever have Cheerios in a bowl. The Cheerios tend to like, tend to go together. You see a cluster of Cheerios. They're never really hanging out on the other side. And that's kind of how people are interesting. Real-life wonder what
the physics of that is. So they they come together in this thick. It's
only with molecules. Yeah. I don't I camera what it was but it was fascinating and I think that's how people are and I think you try to write a TV show or craft a movie with your team. Zoom nothing there. It's like
Like phone sex versus penetration one day, you'll learn that.
I I know nothing of either the I look forward because I think there's a phone-sex Netflix documentary that yeah. This is show or something like that. It's really popular. I want to go watch at least I can learn about that.
Okay, I can send you some links like really on the internet. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
self-driving car. I think it's just inevitable. It's coming. And these truckers are going to have to figure something out.
Yeah, I mean that's that's an under understood industry actually because there's not there's a lot of trucking jobs and oh, yeah, and people don't want to well, people don't actually take them anymore because it's such a difficult job. So it won't have a lot of people believe it won't have as big of a negative impact as cops anticipate. There'll be other automation. I think they'll have a huge
impact. Yeah. For sure. We already see it in McDonald's. You go to the beep, beep. Why do you want to get yelled at by the heavyset woman of
Color, you know, for Megan a bad order when you can just, you know, hit the screen but those interactions. I think our human, I mean that's part of life. So it is scary. Taking away everything. How long till we're not fucking? That's comin to ya. Then it's going to have two types of people. You fuck in real life or you a digital fuck person. I'm a digital. I like real fucking. Sorry. We can't date. That's coming.
Well, there's also the the reproduction side of sex which is like with
Netiq engineering. You'll be able to specify a little bit of details. I talked to Jimmy Martin about that, like where you can specify like what, you know, it'll start with. Like I want my child not to have like a high likelihood of diabetes or something like that. And then you get to specify like intelligence is get to specify those kinds of parameters until you're like, basically trying to create a perfect human.
You lose some of the magic of the flaws, that make us who we are. Yes, and you know, I I'm pretty sure in the full lineup of humans, like the so let me give you some information. I don't jump. I'm sure I get
down. I'm sure you
researched this thoroughly but a male of the human species of the homo, sapien produces 500 billion sperm cells in a lifetime.
I'm so that's all some more than others. That's all uniquely genetically unique humans that you can produce. So even across those five hundred billion, you can select and so you like abort some or know you can choose which of them you want mean just imagine all the genic possibilities that are there like all the possible if you won the race. Yes, shocking
this
This is where all the 500 billion.
You have to imagine what the competition
was just tell her it's all day long handicapped.
Well, so it's not actually the fastest sperm or like it's I think a lot of his timing and luck, what it seems like there's actual papers on this, and I've actually been reading them. I
hope so, it's not just like the
fastest sperm to the egg. Okay, there's a timing thing. So you were just lucky.
All right, I believe that says
Interesting to think about like, once you're able to specify.
some parameters of what your child is like, how they changes the nature of
Even just like the intimacy of two humans getting together and making creating together a child. Yeah, I mean change it changes. It's almost like I don't know. It becomes like a factory line of some
kind if you don't meet naturally.
Yeah, if you don't mean nothin in there and then you don't and you get get to optimize your child. Then it's yeah, then it's some like you have to consider utilitarian type of
Like what's good for society and it'll probably be regulation about what kind of children you can have a not like your child cannot have an IQ below this or bubbles or something like that. Your child cannot.
We already kind of do that. We so VIP clubs, like I your kind of ugly or women go. Hey, he's not tall enough. We kind of do a little. Yeah, especially sexually. Yeah, we do can't get on the roller coaster, for this short. Whatever it is, you know, we do it in some
capacity, but here
At this would be like fully transparent and to a degree that it's hard to imagine, like, the way we currently do it. You can at least get around it. Yes, you can leave space trick your way onto the roller coaster. Even if you're short,
right, or the fat guy can get rich. So I can get laid, you know, there's other ways
at the risk of asking the totally wrong person. This question. What advice would you give to young people today in high school and college?
Had to have a successful career or career. They're proud of, or maybe have a life that they're proud of.
Well, first of all, you got to be, you got to want a life. You're proud of. Not everybody has any Integrity people. Just a lot of people just want short money. I want to feel good. Look good right now. I want to do Molly. Boom. I'll feel good, you know, but you should space it out. You should. It's almost like saving money so you can use it later.
Nobody wants to save money. What do they say? Like eleven percent of America actually has money, saved a thousand dollars or some shit. It's wildly low. Everybody wants it now. Now what do you call immediate gratification? I think the key to happiness and satisfaction is working for something even if it's it's like a baby, if you could have a baby in five minutes, if a woman you gotta you just dinner and she had a baby up five minutes boom new born healthy.
I think he'd be more likely to throw it away. If you could make it that quick. It's the fact that you spent nine months back, breaking the labor, the lactating, The Ripped placenta, and the hymen, or whatever the fuck, that's what makes you love it. And I think it's the same with comedy or, or making money, or whatever. Look at these kids, who like, child stars. They all become heroin addicts at like 22 because they've just their sensors are burned out there. Pleasure sensors. You didn't have to earn it. I think earning it as a big part of life.
Life. And always try to do better to do more. Try to learn new things. Hey, I'm bored. Life sucks. I have to play the piano, then you Chooch, but you you won't do it because it takes effort and failure and all that but that's the good part and I know it's hard to see. So I think that's that's a good. Good key to life is work hard at something. You care about and then love the result, the hard work. The journey is actually way more important than
Getting something. Everybody wants to go on Amazon. I got a package. Then you feel good for 10 seconds. And let's go on Amazon again. And then you just it's just a dumb cycle of you being disgusting and gluttonous. So work for it. Everybody wants to take steroids and just poop. I'm buff. Why did you point at me? Well, I'm just a Russian or what? I saw. The The Icarus. Yeah, but no, I'm not saying you're on roids of just you'd be way bigger, but I'm just saying, you know, work for something and then I
I'd also young people eat shit early, each shit early. I know a guy who kind of got canceled or whatever and he had an out early, but he tried to get by and he tried to ride it and it all came crumbling down. But if you eat literally like yeah, I fucked up, I did that. Whatever it was he would have he would have just kind of been been shit on for a month and then I would have gone away but now it's his whole identity and that sucks. So each shit early, and I know it's hard to see what I mean early.
I'm in the present but look ahead. Look back. This time will pass. We look at high school. High school is the biggest thing in our lives. Oh my God, this exam. Susie Q hates me, the football player. Beat me up. I'll never recover now. You don't mean think about high school. It's just a blip in your dumb life, you know, and that's what this is. Now. This will just be a blip. So remember that and work towards something and work hard and care about the result of the result isn't good. Try it again and failure is not.
Always bad failure. We looking failure. Is this end all be? All my life's over. I failed. But families, really just learning.
So that's something. So in summary each, it early and each it often. Yes. All right, Mark Normand 8's, that's the escalated quickly. All right. I have a list of random questions for you. What activities make you lose track of time? Oh, have that going?
That zone. You have this happiness, contentment about you that you just truly enjoy.
Yeah, I think good conversation. Like I'll sit at the Comedy Cellar with friends. Maybe a little Whiskey's flowing and when you really just vibing and and in hip and hip in in a bit you can do it. What is it? And if it it
inhibited I don't have it. I don't have it. You're
just vibing your uninhibited, you're saying crazy shit and you're laughing and you're not worried at my semen cool. Right now. I my semen likable. Well,
You just you 100% And it's all coming out of you. And then they're saying stuff and you go back and forth and you feel that excitement when they're talking, but I want to say my thing and you know, you get all keyed up. I love that and I look at my watch my fuck. It's 3:00 in the morning. This is we've been talking for 5 hours. So I love that that makes the time fly by. Also. I bought a speaking of self-driving cars. I bought a 1973 BMW car and it's classic and it's stick shift and it's Grizzly and gritty and
Rusty and it's a bucket of bolts but I love driving it bucket a Bose. Yeah. Tom Waits your poets. Have you have you taken like a long trip anywhere like road trip
and your life or with this BMW?
Not with, it's pretty new, but I will,
it's a new 97.
Yeah, new to me and it just it goes in the face of everything we're doing now. Everything is digital. Everything is automated. Everything is hands off. Everything is delivered and this is the most Hands-On thing in the world and I
I am dialed-in man. I got the tachometer. I keep an eye on that. Oh, I mean I put the wrong gear and shit. Oh, it's about to stall, put some gas, put some clutch and it's all just brainpower and and staying in focus and all that. And it's the opposite of tweeting and texting and watching porn or whatever. So I almost needed that in my life. So I bought this car just to have this little
exercise.
I hope you don't mind that. I'm just trying out random questions. I wrote, I knew that are quite clearly, the like, completely
insane. Any pictures of my face, bring it on
baby. This would be edited down to five minutes. If everyone on Earth disappeared, and it was just you left. Well, what would your days look like? What would you do?
That's tough. Because I'm already an introvert and I try to avoid people mostly like, I like I want on one, but,
Crowds and all that stuff. So basically unchanged. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. But then that's the irony is I would be so sad and not talk to anybody. So it's as weird Bittersweet thing, but I don't know what I would do, man. I guess it's kind of like when you're hungover. You just go into the Primal survival mode. I gotta get food. I need water. I'm horny. Jerk-off, you know, you just go, you're not, you're not like playing the piano or painting or at the gym.
I think I would just go into urges man. Primal, urges find food store food. Am I safe? Make weapons build a shelter that I can't get attacked in. I would go all survival mode and then once I may be realized, if I was safe or not, there's no wild roaming dogs. I would start exploring and, you know, maybe somehow get a vehicle and I would try to expand and that would be it and I maybe had Journal
exploring to what to try to.
Find new experiences
new life. If there's other, maybe there is another guy out
there. Oh, so always the this is a
possibility. Yeah. Hope and it maybe there's a better place. I could live. Let's find that. And then moving on the maybe there's more food over here. So yeah, the hope would drive me but it would be Bleak and sad and horrible also, so, we are saying
is you really want other people to be there so you can hide from them as,
yes. Yes. Well,
sir. All right. What, what's an item on your bucket list that you
Even Done Yet. Think about something. You'd be very upset if you died and you haven't
done. Well, I'm terrified of having kids, you know, just because I'm a child myself and I'm selfish and lazy in a way. So kids are like, this is your whole life. Now. This is it. You got it? Not let this thing die. You gotta love it. You gotta raise it. So kids scare the shit out of me, but I also feel like if I don't have them, I'll I'll regret it.
We've seen so many people like you who are fundamentally changed.
Bye kids. Yeah, like like it's a source. It's a source of like a deep source of Happiness, even though you didn't anticipate it. Yeah. So you like, you penciled it into your
bucket? Yes. Yes.
You're in. Might be on there. Okay, I do. You want kids? Yeah. Well, I want kids. I want to get married on have kids. I kind of, I don't like choice. So, in the following way, like I appreciate the value of
Our city in the power scarcely. Like I don't like the modern dating culture. It's not some religious thing whatever. I just like one girl for a long time or at least swinging for that always like swinging for the fences
and to be swinging right now. I mean you're as a different use of the word swinger sure, but I'm saying you could be clear. You look great. Your hand. Yeah. Thanks muscular. Thank you. You get the job done. So I feel like you wouldn't leave without an orgasm on
her. Yeah. I just like to, you know, about furries. I like to dress up as animals and, and I just
I have trouble finding others
who like the scent there. I could show you some chat
rooms. You're also my coach for the internet. Okay, what are you most afraid of?
I guess I don't live life. I'm a I'm always a big fan growing up of like wild guys, you know, like these Teddy Roosevelt. Who would go out and hunt lions? And like bar fighting, guys. I was obsessed with a Hunter, S Thompson types and look, this is what I love about guys. Like, who's a good example like Hemingway, Hemingway was the manliest guy. He had the rifle and the elephant gun, and the whiskey and the writing and the
Women and the fist fights, but the people forget it. The other side of that coin is I'm sure he was in a lot of hotel rooms weeping. I'm sure he was lonely as fuck. I'm sure he had some Wicked hangovers. I mean, he killed himself for Christ's sake. So obviously was dealing with something. So the key to me is having this adventurous life living to the fullest doing crazy shit. Scaring yourself, but also not killing yourself. Like also not hating because I used to party a lot hard. I used to bang a lot of gals and
This is the flip side is like this girl hates you. Now, or you got herpes or you're hungover or your mom is like, where where are you? You never call me anymore. You're like my father. Let ties go with my mom. I gotta connect. So this horrible. There's a horrible side of the party. Animal, the Keith Richards. We don't see is not pretty. I mean, he's already weird looking, but he's party smoke and he's living. But there's another side of that coin, and I think the key to life is living that fucking crazy awesome badass.
live, and also having some
You know, meaning and a little bit of a. What's the word not? Just not killing yourself, not going sad. Being depressed is a medium there. A sweet spot.
That makes sense. Yeah. So taking big leaps and Hemingway grabbing Life by the balls, but the same time not crushing the balls there. Yeah the for work at all
perfectly Evel Knievel. We all know what a badass Fearless. Oh man. What a cool dude. He's got balls of steel.
But he's also lived like the back half of his life in a fucking, you know, Barcalounger what his legs were made of steel. And he couldn't see straight and his dick didn't work. So you know what? I mean? You got to have a balance but you still want the ballot. I'm willing to take a little bit of shit for a little bit of fun, but you don't want to go too hard because he got to still risk it. I
mean, hundreds Thompson. It didn't end. Well, yeah, it's quite a ride quite a right.
What small act of kindness. We once shown that you will never forget?
That's a great question.
I just wrote These for the guinea pig. You're the
guinea pig, right? That's a keeper.
Okay, that's a keeper. Yeah, this is where like workshopping questions here.
Alright, I'll take it out. You know, you're open biking. Yeah, this is your version. Let's see. It's a couple ladies in high school who were kind enough to hand job. Maybe that was nice, which I really appreciate. I don't think women know how much that means to us. You know, we're like, I'm not a piece of meat or whatever and you're like, I know. But if you just give me a hand job. Yeah, I would. It would make my world. It's like telling a kid.
Be smart or loved.
See, most people mentioned like a math teacher Middle School that those inspired them to get into science. You it's give a shout-out to the.
Well, that's part of that's not the nicest, but I'm just saying that goes a long way. All right. Let's see. Kindness. That's a great question.
I want to give you a good answer. I I got lost when I was like six. I list was walk around my dad and I'd zoned out and went away and next thing, you know, I don't know where I am. I'm in a neighborhood. This old guy finds me crying on a lawn somewhere and he goes come inside and he tried to call my parents and nothing came of it. Eventually. They found me after like nine hours cops were there, the FBI's out there fucking helicopters, and I guess you know, that's nice is old guy took me.
And for a couple hours and just sat me down and kept me safe. That's something yeah. Oh, how about heinous? My Trends vest night nanny.
Very kind.
He did you hear about this? No. Okay, we had this transvestite Nanny was like a drag queen but it was in the 90s. It was weird. It was new. And I my bike got stolen and he, you know, my parents like that. What you gonna do their poor kids, you know, and he was like, fuck it. Let's we're gonna go get that bike and I was like this guy's on a wig and high heels. Big black guy. And I'm like, what are you gonna do? You know, it's gone and he's like now, we're gonna go get it. So we got in the van and drove it around my
I saw the kids fucking with the bike, you know, five Street toughs and he goes, all right, you want to come out? Or should I just do this? And I was like, you do it. I'm terrified. What are you crazy? And he got out of the van in full, you know, heels and wig. Anyone up to these guys and they went off. Oh my God, and all this shit, you know, it's the 90s and he just stared at them long enough to where they were kind of. Like. All right. Well, I guess we're going to fight you now and he goes.
That's not your bike. And they go. What are you gonna do about it? And he puts his hand on the middle of the bike and they didn't do anything and he just picked it up and said, that's what I thought. Put the bike over shoulder slid, the van door, open through the bike and we drove off.
Somebody stuck up for
you. And you know, I mean he could have got I mean the there tools that gonna fucking tuned him up two seconds.
That actually like takes
courage. Oh, yeah, real courage.
And then that the the reason you do an act like that is that makes a kid. Like you feel like there's somebody on your side? Yes, possible.
Someone on your side is Big, it's big that goes a long way.
That's when they have a the risk of getting their ass kicked or their job taken away or whatever
it is.
Now we're going to get philosophical, maybe a little bit emotional. Would you rather lose all your old memories or never be able to make new ones?
The tough one but I go. Easy answer, make new ones,
but don't you think all this shitty things that happened to you?
Oh, it's so my hard drive is wiped clean. It's not.
Is it memories? Or is it how every memory affected me, too?
I mean, this is a very they go hand-in-hand. I think the reality about memories is you replay them, often you go back to them, even when you're not aware of it. You really go, you go back off and like that and that change you change them to. Yeah, you change them to suit your understanding of the world. Yes. So the the dark you you have both the hope and the cynicism.
Have about the world so deeply grounded in the in the memories that you're basically I would say if you erase all memories.
I think you're really starting over with maybe the wisdom of how the world works, but not your so much. Your personality is gone. You would really, I'd be interesting how pure comedy would change. Maybe he would have a good sense of timing. You have a good sense of like the writing process, maybe but like,
Now you making some good points, but let me ask you this. Let's say I go to Lake Como with my girlfriend.
Now like I wipe the memory, I keep my old memories. Let's say, I go to, you know, the Tuscany with the
lady. Yeah,
I just won't remember that.
Yeah, but you get to experience it in the moment. Okay, you'll get to enjoy. Can I look at a photo
of it?
Yes, but I would. What the hell is this? Yeah, exactly.
Fascinating. It's exact, the rules are pretty simple. Yeah, everyone knows how the rules go. See. But you, you would. Yeah. So what?
Well, I was gonna say start new ones, but then I realized I wouldn't be who I was without them. That's what you're saying. So I guess I'd keep them because I am 38. So I've gotten a good chunk out of life.
Yeah, and let's be honest. How many years do you have
left? I know, right. That
aids is it better to of
Loved. Okay. This question is ridiculous. Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all? The the so it sounds cliche but it is a question. Definitely better to loss.
So you enjoy the ups and downs through,
that's what that's life for Sun and Rain, baby. I kind of like both
the whole thing. The, the loss, every time you lose something. It really makes you distinctly, realize, how much you valued it. Yes, like, am I when I'm sad? Like when I'm feeling alone.
And I'm sitting there alone at home and I wish I could hang out with somebody. That's like a realization, how awesome people are ya. So it's like the missing the yeah,
we don't have a lot of that in life anymore because we can have anything we want immediately. So, the missing is gone away which again drives down the joy of having it. So, I think you're right, you need both.
So like you said, you have a condition.
That a terminal condition. Not my many years left. Do you think about your mortality? You think?
All day every day. Are you afraid? Not afraid because it's inevitable. So it's more like what do we have? Going to handle this?
It's like the winner is coming. Let's stock up on some fucking
nuts, but the existential nature of it like the fact that this ride ends. Like, what the hell are you doing any of this for? Like, because it,
you're at his faction happiness,
short term. But like this, there is a presumption there that it kind of goes on forever. I think if you had truly think about the fact that it ends your brain almost shuts. Shuts. Yeah, there's some kind of like protective like switch that just goes off. I mean, I, that's why this
Alex, you know, encourage people to meditate on death because it somehow reorganizes your priorities. It helps you like holy shit. This ends make the most of the day. Yes, it's just a nice thing. But still you can't quite comprehend. The thing ends
little things to, you know, people go, like we got a layover between our flights is an hour. What are we gonna do for an hour? It's like maybe what you gonna do for an hour. You're gonna kill and I almost kill how we gonna kill this hour.
This is part of your life. You're just trying to get rid of it. Just trying to kill it. That that always blew my mind. Like, hey, fuck it. Let's go. Hit the the airport bar. Let's get a, you know, every a candy bar or something. Yeah, and it would bar. But it's just you've got to live. I hate this. Like, how we gonna burn. So the Barton open for 15 minutes. What are we gonna do? What? We got? 15 minutes. We got the world. Is our oyster.
Yeah, make the most of the and like the like you said in modern-day. Actually, the boredom is a gift. Like, the when you're waiting for
Thing. That's that's that's a gift. You get to be with your thoughts. Yeah. Those are the same thoughts. You'll have. When you're on your deathbed. There won't be a
You won't be scrolling Tick-Tock on your deathbed. I hope not jeez. You'd be a lot more actually, maybe we would be, what does that exist? Because it would be a good like content creators of be like, ooh, I'm dying. This would be good
content. Yeah, I wanna be able to shoot film. The exact moment goes. Last war. Is I wonder what my last yes. Yeah,
good way to like end the, the account with a
bang. Yep. I like that. Where, you know, that you ever seen that mean, where the old guy in bed. He goes. I wish I had tweeted more.
You know, and then he dies. It's so
true. Could be the future. What do you think is the meaning of
life?
I don't think there is one, everybody always throws that out there. I'm just, there isn't a meaning. I think we're here. We're lucky to be here. I think there's no afterlife. There's no Heaven. That's, that's all shit. We tell ourselves to feel better. And I think you gotta just, it's like saying, what is the meaning of this food? I made? Well, it's just you enjoy the food. You try to get the most out of it, you built the food, you were prepared it. So, just get what you can out of it. Don't die.
And we'll try to make it last as long as possible.
Yeah, but you look at Earth. It's like four billion years old and life started early on like like simple cell bacterial life, like a 1 billion years in and then it started like having lots of aggressive interaction. Eventually, there's predator and prey and their sex, lots of sex. Lots of sex with lots of violence. Oh, yeah, and then, you know, do natural selection is just
the whole evolutionary process of of animals that have loved and lost and murdered and gotten murdered and all that kind of stuff. And it's somehow let the human civilization were super busy trying to create things and creating beautiful art, creating beautiful comedy. Yeah, just always creating something new. It feels like it's tending towards something. Like
it's a little not dying. If you die tomorrow, you still have all these hours of pots. So it's kind of your think you're cheating death on a subconscious.
Just way I think, right. You know what, Ernest Becker is and for the name book called denial of death. This idea that, that if you don't acknowledge so much girls, love it like this. You have ski. Nah, I'm just say, you want to bring Tolstoy Dostoevsky Russian literature. It's the back to Norm is good to bring to because no American is read any Russian literature, but they all appreciate it if you bring.
It and it's not like they're going to ask you and you'll generate questions because they haven't read it yet. So you can always pretend like you've read it. So it's a little dense.
Can we get a shortened version? Cliff Notes? Yes, or make a movie with, you know, Ben Stiller that I can just go. All this is based on what is it a life in debt? No, it's so on War and Peace or
in peace. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Earnest Becker's Theory and there's this whole Terror management theory that basically says that like our Terror of death
Our fear of death is one of the central creative forces for Human Condition is the reason we're trying to. Yeah. Cheat death. We're trying to delude ourselves that somehow we can become immortal through our art. It's why you've uploaded your special to YouTube because you think, you think you're special will outlive all of human civilization. You think YouTube will outlive all the rationalization tomorrow that can go away tomorrow. All of this can go away. So I'm truly grateful.
Mr. Mark, Normand that you would spend your very valuable time with me today, even though it could all go away. This could be the last day of our lives and won't. You be quite upset. This is how you
spent it. Yeah, your hotel room. What am I? Yeah, like, Harvey Weinstein here. Yeah, but me up and now I feel fucked.
Just wait. What we have ready for you. After the podcast is over, brother. Thanks so much for talking to.
Thank you. It was great comedy.
Thanks for listening to this conversation with Mark Normand. The sport this podcast please check out our sponsors in the description. And now let me leave you with some words from Mark, Normand himself on his Twitter which you should definitely follow because it's hilarious. The worst thing about getting Omicron for Christmas is, you know, it was re-gifted.
Thank you for listening and hope to see you next time.
