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Lori Gottlieb
Lori Gottlieb
Top Moments
Getting to unknow yourself is to let go of the very limiting stories you’ve been carrying around so you can live your life, not the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life. So many of us are walking around living some story we’re telling ourselves about our life that doesn’t reflect
reality.
Getting to Unknow Yourself is a Significant Component of Therapy
So many of us self-flagellate. We think that if we self-flagellate, it'll help us feel better. It's very paradoxical ... Self-flagellation never leads to long-term change. It might make you do something in the moment, but it won't
last.
Self-Flagellation Never Leads to Long-Term Change
We like to say that insight is the booby prize of therapy, meaning you can have all the insight in the world, but if you don't make changes out in the world, the insight is
useless.
Insight Is the Booby Prize of Therapy
There's a difference between pain and suffering. We all experience pain at various points in our lives, but we don't have to suffer so much. Sometimes we're the cause of our
suffering.
You Might Have Pain, But You Don't Have to Suffer
Why do people need a terminal diagnosis to really pay attention to what they want to do in their lives? We shouldn't need that ... We all have a terminal diagnosis—life has a 100% mortality
rate.
How Did Lori Gottlieb Muster the Courage to Leave Medical School & Become a Journalist?
Be aware. Be aware of the gift of your life today when you wake up be intentional about how you want to live your life. What are your priorities? Are you living
those?
Meet Julie: A Terminal Cancer Patient Who Spent Her Final Days Working at Trader Joe's
All these studies will tell you if you look them up that the most important factor in the success of someone's therapy is the relationship that you have with your therapist. It matters more than the training the therapist has, than the modality that they're using, than the number of years of experience. Not that those things don't matter—they absolutely do, but the thing that matters the most is that
relationship.
The Relationship Between Therapist & Patient Influences Therapy Success Most
Our fear of our feelings is often scarier than the feelings
themselves.
How Lori Helps People Get Past Denial
I don't think there is a greater ROI that a person can make than investing in their emotional health because without it, all of the other things don't
matter.
Without Emotional Health, Nothing Else Really Matters
You can have all the insight in the world, but if you don't actually make changes out in the world, the insight is
useless.
Insight is the Booby Prize of Therapy
Humans are ridiculous. And I mean that in the most compassionate way that I think that we as humans we say one thing and we do another all the time. And I think that's funny the ways that we act the ways that we try to protect ourselves, which actually don't protect
us.
Humans Constantly Say One Thing & Do Another
When the story of my life is gonna be told, the people who are going to have literally saved my life are going to be the people who helped me with my mental health, and I don't think that can be
overstated.
Don't Ignore Emotional Health; If Something's Wrong, See a Therapist
Denial is a way of staving off these uncomfortable feelings that we don't want to acknowledge. My job as a therapist is to get under that denial and help somebody realize that dealing with the feelings will be a lot easier than staying in
denial.
How Lori Helps People Get Past Denial
So many of us are carrying around fascinating stories that we don’t think are fascinating. We think of our lives are pretty ordinary, but as a therapist, I can tell you that the most extraordinary stories come out of people grounded in the
ordinary.
The Best Decision Lori Ever Made: Having a Child with a Sperm Donor
So many times people come to therapy and say, 'Tell me what to do,' and what I want to help them do is find the answer inside because it's there—they just can't hear it
yet.
How Did Lori Gottlieb Muster the Courage to Leave Medical School & Become a Journalist?
We have these voices in our heads that try to talk us out of things. Often, the most authentic place in us is the quiet
voice.
Does Lori Worry About Someone Misinterpreting Advice from Her "Dear Therapist" Column?
I think those moments in life when you feel like you really didn't want something to happen are often the moments when something really transformative is about to
happen.
Because Humans Hate Uncertainty, We Cling to the Familiar
I love giving books as gifts. They're my favorite gift to receive. I love giving them because it feels like I'm giving an experience to somebody ... Books, to me, are the best
gift.
Lori Frequently Gifts "The Tennis Partner" By Abraham Verghese
Often, in a relationship, the person saying, "You never listen to me," isn't a good listener themselves.
To Improve Communication with Your Partner... Listen
That's why... change is so hard—because we cling to the familiar. We cling to what we know. So, even if you're making a really positive change, sometimes we fight that because we don't like
uncertainty.
Because Humans Hate Uncertainty, We Cling to the Familiar
Feelings are like weather systems. They blow in; they blow out. Just because you feel something doesn't mean the storm will stay there
indefinitely.
How Lori Helps People Get Past Denial
I feel like I went from telling people stories as a journalist to helping people change their stories as a
therapist.
Before Becoming a Therapist, Lori Gottlieb Was a Journalist
Historically, one of my main challenges has been identifying what I'm unwilling to feel. I've been trying to practice allowing those feelings and being kind to myself when I'm experiencing them instead of beating the living shit out of myself for opening the door to any of those
feelings.
Self-Flagellation Never Leads to Long-Term Change
Before diagnosing someone with depression, make sure they're not surrounded by
assholes.
How Lori's "Dear Therapist" Advice Column Compares to Administering Therapy In-Person
A lot of us would rather blame other people or other circumstances for why we can't have happiness or joy or meaning or whatever it is in our lives than to say, 'Oh, now I'm responsible for that, and if it doesn't work out, that's on
me.'
Lori Gottlieb's Therapist Taught Her a Valuable Lesson About Responsibility
Acknowledge the fact that life has a 100% mortality rate.
Leaving Medical School to Become a Journalist Was a Difficult Decision for Lori
There's one thing that nobody can take away from us, and that's the freedom to choose our attitude in any given
situation.
Amid COVID-19, Remember: You Can Choose Your Attitude
Clips
What Distinguishes a Good Therapist from a Great Therapist?
1:53 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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therapist
therapy
4
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To Improve Communication with Your Partner... Listen
2:16 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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3
Share
Often, Family & Friends Don't Want You to Change for the Better
1:11 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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weight loss
1
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In Her Late 30s, Lori Gottlieb Went Back to School to Become a Therapist
1:26 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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1
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Amid COVID-19, Remember: You Can Choose Your Attitude
3:10 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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covid-19
2
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Use Technology to Connect with Loved Ones Remotely Amid COVID-19
3:06 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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covid-19
coronavirus
quarantine
1
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Because Humans Hate Uncertainty, We Cling to the Familiar
1:44 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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1
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Lori Gottlieb Cried After Her Patient's Psychological Armor Was Finally Destroyed
5:49 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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therapist
emotions
1
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Meet Julie: A Terminal Cancer Patient Who Spent Her Final Days Working at Trader Joe's
7:53 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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cancer
therapist
1
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You Can Feel Pain & Laugh Simultaneously
0:58 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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pain
0
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It's Common to Feel Threatened When Your Romantic Partner Starts Self-Improving
0:41 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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0
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How to Point Out Blind Spots in a Way That Invites Self-Reflection
3:02 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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0
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Leaving Medical School to Become a Journalist Was a Difficult Decision for Lori
5:02 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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career
0
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Insight is the Booby Prize of Therapy
2:06 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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therapy
marriage
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Use Envy as a Catalyst for Changing Your Life
0:23 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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0
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Self-Flagellation Never Leads to Long-Term Change
2:16 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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0
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Lori's Classmate Continued to Smoke After Dissecting Cadavers of Former Smokers
1:21 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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0
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Both Lori & Tim Changed How They Define Success
2:14 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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success
0
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People Often Have Personal Agendas; Therapists Don't
2:29 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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therapist
therapy
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A Pediatric Oncology Rotation in Medical School Strengthened Lori's Awareness of Death
3:08 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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health
death
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Humans Cling to the Familiar Stories That Govern Their Lives
4:22 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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therapy
0
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How Lori's "Dear Therapist" Advice Column Compares to Administering Therapy In-Person
3:08 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
view episode
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therapy
0
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The Hierarchy of Pain & Why You Shouldn't Ignore Your Emotional Health
2:50 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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pain
anxiety
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The Best Decision Lori Ever Made: Having a Child with a Sperm Donor
4:12 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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child
decision
mom
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Getting to Unknow Yourself is a Significant Component of Therapy
3:08 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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therapy
0
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Lori's Career Path: From Entertainment to Medical School to Journalist to Therapist
6:31 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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career
therapist
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How Lori Helps People Get Past Denial
1:54 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
view episode
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0
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Lori's New Therapy-Focused TV Show & Podcast
4:21 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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podcast
therapist
therapy
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Lori Frequently Gifts "The Tennis Partner" By Abraham Verghese
2:27 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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books
book
0
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How to Discover Your Blind Spots Without Therapy
2:21 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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therapist
therapy
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You Might Have Pain, But You Don't Have to Suffer
1:29 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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pain
0
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How Lori Broke a Self-Perpetuated Cycle of Suffering Post Break-Up
1:20 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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0
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The Difference Between Idiot Compassion & Wise Compassion
3:37 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
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0
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Does Lori Worry About Someone Misinterpreting Advice from Her "Dear Therapist" Column?
5:42 ·
#415:
Lori Gottlieb
— The Power of Getting to *Unknow*
Yourself
view episode
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pause
therapist
0
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Don't Ignore Emotional Health; If Something's Wrong, See a Therapist
5:02 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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health
mental health
therapy
0
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Lori Talks About The Energy And Vulnerability in Julie's Sessions
0:57 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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0
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It's Never Too Late to Change Your Story
1:26 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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0
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Lori Gottlieb's Patient Vowed to Kill Herself If Things Didn't Improve By Her 70th Birthday
8:53 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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therapist
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How Did Lori Gottlieb Muster the Courage to Leave Medical School & Become a Journalist?
3:26 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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0
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How Many Patients from Her Book 'Maybe You Should Talk to Someone' Is Lori Still in Contact With?
2:28 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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The Most Important Part of Change: Maintaining It
0:48 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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0
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It's a Common Misconception That Therapy Focuses on Mostly Your Childhood
0:40 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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Therapists Don't Provide Immediate Answers; They Guide Patients Toward Clarity
2:16 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb Hosts the 'Dear Therapists' Podcast
1:22 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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Spending Time in the ER for a TV Show Made Lori Want to Attend Medical School
3:31 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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therapist
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Change Happens Gradually Then Suddenly
1:24 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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book
0
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Humans Constantly Say One Thing & Do Another
1:21 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
view episode
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book
0
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The Relationship Between Therapist & Patient Influences Therapy Success Most
3:14 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
view episode
play_arrow
pause
therapy
book
therapist
0
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Before Becoming a Therapist, Lori Gottlieb Was a Journalist
2:30 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
view episode
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therapist
therapy
0
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Lori Gottlieb's Therapist Taught Her a Valuable Lesson About Responsibility
2:10 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
view episode
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therapist
therapy
0
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Without Emotional Health, Nothing Else Really Matters
0:33 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
view episode
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0
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Lori Gottlieb's Book, 'Maybe You Should Talk to Someone,' Had a Huge Impact on Peter
1:42 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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book
therapist
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Insight Is the Booby Prize of Therapy
1:30 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
view episode
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therapy
0
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In 2006, Peter Attia Made a Tough Decision & Left the Medical Field
2:07 ·
Lori Gottlieb
: Understanding pain, therapeutic breakthroughs, and keys to enduring emotional
health
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