Jordan Peterson on Marriage, Resentment & Healing the Past (Part 1) EP 1093

Shame regulates sex ... People say 'Well, you shouldn't be ashamed of sex.' It's like, well, really? Really? No. That's a stupid theory. We arrest people who expose themselves in public Why? Well, because we don't want people masturbating in public. We assume they should be ashamed enough not to do that. Shame regulates sexual behavior, so we're embarrassed about our desires.

It doesn't look to me like pornography is really a very good idea. I don't think it's helping anyone.

People wonder why I engage in conflict. I hate conflict, and I find it very stressful, but conflict delayed is conflict multiplied.

What your brain wants from you in relationship to a traumatic memory is indication that you're no longer vulnerable to the same problem. That's what memory is for, right? You remember something bad, and you process it, so that you change your interpretation or your behavior or the situation, or whatever you can change, so that it isn't going to happen in the future. And, if you do that thoroughly, you'll generally let yourself rest.

You can be a slave or a tyrant or you can negotiate—those are your options. And we default to slavery and tyranny because that doesn't require any cognitive effort. And then we pretend that everything's alright. And then it blows up in our faces, and we end up divorced.

I don't believe that anyone feels like a better human being after a utilizing pornography for sexual gratification.

If you want to have an adventure like that with your partner, a monogamous adventure that also includes sexual exploration, well, maybe you can pull it off, but I doubt it.

There are adolescents who break rules all the time... including legal rules. Well, they tend to become criminal ... But then at the opposite end of the distribution are adolescents who don't break any rules, and they tend to develop internalizing disorders—depression, anxiety disorders, that sort of thing.

You can't have a relationship without trust. And you trust your partner courageously if you're not naive, knowing that you can be hurt and that you can be deceived and that you can also do both of those things. So, you offer your partner your trust as an invitation to them to be honest and forthcoming...

As we become more technologically powerful, the quality of our individual morality becomes an increasingly pressing social concern because each of us are far more powerful than we were once were for good and for evil.