Kristin Neff, Ph.D.: The power of self-compassion

It’s actually easier than you might think to help people get in touch with their compassionate self because for many, many people, that compassionate self is very, very well-practiced. It’s an expert just aimed at others, so you don’t have to create something totally new that’s not there.

Even if figuring out a way to become more self-compassionate didn't make you live one day longer... the impact it would have on the quality of your life alone would be worth it, and I think in the final analysis, quality of life matters more than length of life.

A lot of people are just blown away by the simple thing of putting your hand on your heart and saying something kind & supportive to yourself.

Research shows that self-compassion is not only more effective than self-criticism, which kind of occurs naturally, but also is more effective than self-esteem as a motivator.

There's nothing wrong with self-esteem, and in fact, there's a pretty strong correlation between self-compassion and self-esteem. If you're self-compassionate, you'll have higher self-esteem, and you'll have less self-hate.

People with early childhood trauma—so sexual, emotional, physical abuse—it actually hinders the ability to be self-compassionate as an adult.

The three components of self-compassion are self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity ... The three really do go hand in hand. They operate as a system.

I think it's really helpful to know why we criticize ourselves. We criticize ourselves because we care.