#393 Andrew Huberman: Relationships, Drama, Betrayal, Sex, and Love

One way to destroy your life is to spend time trying to control your or somebody else's past. So much of our destructive behavior and thinking comes from wanting something that we saw or did or heard to not be true, rather than really working with that and getting close to what it really was.

When it comes to romantic relationships, if it's not 100% in you, it ain't happening. And I've never seen a violation of that statement.

I do a prayer where I ask, I make an ask, to help remove my defects, my character defects. I pray to God to help remove my character defects, so that I can show up better in all the roles in my life and do good work—which, for me, is learning and teaching.

If we don't believe in something—again, doesn't have to be traditional, standardized religion—but if we don't believe in something bigger than ourselves, we, at some level, will self-destruct.

A lot of people, but I'll talk about men because that's what I know best, whether or not they show up strong or not, that they're really afraid of being weak ... Sometimes the strength is even a way to try and not be weak.

[Paul Conti] said, and I believe, that the subconscious is the supercomputer of the brain ... Only by exploring the subconscious and understanding it a little bit can we actually improve ourselves over time.

Covert contracts are the signature of everything bad. Overt contracts are the signature of all things good.

There are data that support the idea that in order to increase the probability of successful fertilization that, indeed, the woman should not stand upright after sex... right after the man has ejaculated inside her and should adjust her pelvis, say, 15 degrees upwards.

That 4-part episode series with Paul [Conti] is, at least to date, the most important work I've ever been involved in in all of my career, because it's very clear that we are not taught how to explore our subconscious and that very few people actually understand how to do that—even most psychiatrists.

I think it also is interesting to see how training differently changes your cognition ... I think my cognition is better when I'm doing more cardio and when the repetition ranges are a little bit higher, which is not to say that people who lift heavy are dumb.

The practice I've been doing a lot more of lately is I walk while reading a book. In the yard, I'll just pace back and forth or walk in a circle...

What's great about getting older is that you stop questioning the signals that come from the, I think, deeper recesses of your nervous system to say, hey, this is not good.

We are driven by this huge 90% of our real estate that is not visible to our conscious awareness, and we need to understand that.

Find someone who's really a great friend; like, build a really great friendship with that person ... Of course, sex is super important; but it should be a part of that particular relationship, alongside or meshed with the friendship.

There is no rule that says that you have to be attracted to all attractive people, by any means. It's very important to develop a sense of taste in romantic attractions...

There is the idea that as fathers get older, they're more likely to have daughters as opposed to sons. That's, from the papers I've read, is a significant but still mildly significant result.

I want to be able to go out and run 10 miles if I have to, so sometimes I do. And I want to be able to sprint if I have to, so sometimes I do.

Ideally, for a man, they eventually settle where they find and feel peace. They feel peaceful—where they can be themselves and feel peaceful.

I'm 48, and I feel better in every aspect of my psychology and biology now than I did when I was in my 20s.